Jessica Simpson’s movie sucks

July 2nd, 2007 // 57 Comments
blonde-ambition-trailer.jpg

Sources say Jessica Simpson’s manager dad, Joe Simpson, has pushed back the release date twice for her new film Blonde Ambition because it’s no good and he doesn’t want it competing with other films. An insider tells Gatecrasher:

“First, the release date was set for Aug. 3, and then it was delayed until the last week of August,” says an insider. “Papa Joe then intervened and said he wasn’t comfortable with the level of competition from other films that month.” Another source says: “Jessica was not very focused on-set and flubbed her lines often. She always had her dog around, was on the phone with [then-] boyfriend John Mayer or was sitting in a warmed-up SUV.”

You mean a film starring Jessica Simpson is no good? Shocking! If Joe Simpson is worried about other movies being better then there’s no way this thing is ever going to be released. It’s a damn remake of Working Girl. A training video for Burger King would be more engaging. Don’t believe me? Watch the trailer, and then weep for everybody involved in this project.

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Comments (57)

  1. Duh | July 2, 2007 at 11:40 am

    Of course it sucks. This isn’t news…

    Reply
  2. green buds | July 2, 2007 at 11:41 am

    first

    Reply
  3. Jimbo | July 2, 2007 at 11:43 am

    But does she suck?

    Reply
  4. Victor | July 2, 2007 at 11:43 am

    Who the fuck cares about the movie. She is still very doable. I’d still fuck her in a heartbeat, plus lick her pussy dry.

    Reply
  5. Manny | July 2, 2007 at 11:46 am

    rofl, that trailer is horrid. but then what can you really expect out of her in movies? exactly.

    Reply
  6. Gin | July 2, 2007 at 11:46 am

    Surprise, surprise.

    Reply
  7. Jimbo | July 2, 2007 at 11:47 am

    Victor – can you picture that cute little Brazilian cut and nicely trimmed?

    Reply
  8. Chris | July 2, 2007 at 11:49 am

    oh my lord… I wanna pull my eyes out after watching that trailer.

    Reply
  9. Duh | July 2, 2007 at 11:51 am

    #3 That wouldn’t be news either.

    Reply
  10. jenny | July 2, 2007 at 11:58 am

    Wow. This is what sibling envy will do to you. For both of them.
    Owen and Ashlee are laughing their asses off about this.

    Reply
  11. lambman | July 2, 2007 at 12:04 pm

    This is just funny, I hope whoever decided to fund this film looses their job.

    I always enjoyed this Roger Ebert quote:

    “The movie stars Johnny Knoxville, from “Jackass,” Seann William Scott, from “American Wedding,” and Jessica Simpson, from Mars. Judging by her recent conversation on TV with Dean Richards, Simpson is so remarkably uninformed that she should sue the public schools of Abilene, Texas, or maybe they should sue her. On the day he won his seventh Tour de France, not many people could say, as she did, that they had no idea who Lance Armstrong was.”

    Reply
  12. wedgeone | July 2, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    Remember, this is the same person who didn’t eat buffalo when offered a hot wing.

    It’s not an act, people. Since the only thing that she’s good for is fucking, she should quit now and just jump into gang-bang porn.
    Then the courts should mandate that her baby factory be converted permanently into a playground, so that her seed could never contaminate the rest of the planet. Lord knows enough idiots are running around these days; she need not contribute more to that group.

    Reply
  13. Bern | July 2, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    HELLO THERE — MY BOOBS ARE BACK.

    USE THE LINK ABOVE.

    THEN USE THE LINK ON THAT PAGE.

    THEN SEE GARGANTUAN CANS.

    THEN EITHER GAG, OR MASTURBATE.

    THEN PRAISE BERNARD.

    Reply
  14. Aislinn | July 2, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    Is this a rework or Working Girl or Legally Blonde? It seems more like Legally Blonde — right down to Luke Wilson.

    Reply
  15. peopleRweird | July 2, 2007 at 12:29 pm

    That movie trailor sucks like a groupie on a tour bus….

    Reply
  16. BlohansDeviatedSeptum | July 2, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    Being in a movie with this piece of talentless shit is the hollywood equivilent of Hari Kari.

    I can hardly wait to see this crap make about 5 bucks opening weekend.

    Reply
  17. havoc | July 2, 2007 at 12:34 pm

    Oh come on….

    How can a movie with Andy Dick AND Willie Nelson suck????

    .

    Reply
  18. krazihottkelli? | July 2, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    if the guy from Jackazz
    iz in it and the other
    dude from American Wedding..
    then I’ll definately watch it
    in the future…????

    Reply
  19. Jade | July 2, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    I would rather have sex with a relative than watch that shit movie…

    Reply
  20. Chauncey Gardner | July 2, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    This would be lucky to get even a February opening with all the other losers. Look for it to go STV some time next year in an attempt to recoup a fraction of its budget.

    Reply
  21. meh | July 2, 2007 at 1:21 pm

    does this really suprise anyone? she can’t act.

    Reply
  22. Max | July 2, 2007 at 1:24 pm

    My friend was a PA on this movie. He told me Jessica was on some diet pills that resulted in anal leakage. She called in another PA to clean up her sullied robe. Jessica Simpson poos in her robes! This isn’t that shocking though.

    Reply
  23. LL | July 2, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    Didn’t watch the trailer, don’t need to. Shit like this is why I have a hard time feeling sorry for Hollywood when it whines about counterfeit DVDs and unauthorized downloading and the costs of production and whatnot. If someone out there still has millions to throw away on a fucking Jessica Simpson movie, then Hollywood must still have enough money. And I don’t want to hear them whining about how their box office receipts are going down and how could that be, yada yada yada. The only people on earth dumber than Jessica Simpson are the producers who greenlight her movies (and anything with Paris or Lohan or Rob Schneider in it, as well). They should all be working at Starbucks.

    Reply
  24. corey | July 2, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    Jessica is a dickhead this isnt new’s the bitch is a useless bag of shit

    Reply
  25. kerpupples | July 2, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    Luke Wilson’s career is officially in the toilet.

    Reply
  26. TigerLilly | July 2, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    Not real sure about papajoe, and I’m sad, five more soldierboys gone today{crying}

    Reply
  27. Jenna | July 2, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    OMG, after watching this video I realized what permanent brain damage is like. That’s a lot of brain cells that have just simultaneously died in my brain.

    P.S. Poor Luke Wilson. It’s just not fair for him, considering how cute he is

    Reply
  28. Miserable Bastard | July 2, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    This is why John Mayer dumped her…
    “Look Jessica, we had some good times, but you’re no Reese Witherspoon, and there can never be more than one ‘Legally Blonde’ for me.”

    Reply
  29. PrettyBaby | July 2, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    I think I posted a Jessica Simpson comment on a different thread by accident. Shiiiit. Apparently Jess isn’t the only idiot around these parts. TSFSRT.

    Reply
  30. YouRang | July 2, 2007 at 2:40 pm

    @29 Don’t worry, stick to the esthetics and it doesn’t matter that you are low on the intelligent quotient. You are juicy and delicious and an example of the aforementioned persona addressed here.

    Reply
  31. lj | July 2, 2007 at 2:45 pm

    The problem is that her parents told her she had talent! Papa
    Joe is the producer of all of her movies and is using the money he makes off of her to continue her career. Maybe this will be a wake-up call but I doubt it. She’s suppose to start her next movie in a few weeks in Louisiana as the Major Movie Star (NOT). She’ll have fun playing a Marine in the heat.She’s batting zero in everything she does.

    Reply
  32. queenbuzz | July 2, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    Blind Demolition…that is so horrible..

    Reply
  33. YouRang | July 2, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    #30 Thanks I mean fuck off, I mean… whatever.
    Holy shit… okay apparently I only thought of commenting and didn’t. Fucking balls, busy day at work.
    Okay, look-ummmm yeah. Jess needs so badly to focus on a music career and stay the hell away from acting. Unless the part is a spoof on herself or something. I do think she is cute but it weirds me out that her Dad lusts after her.
    She was also funner when she was “dating” the guys Bam, Johnny, Steve and the other Boys.

    Reply
  34. PrettyBaby | July 2, 2007 at 2:54 pm

    #33 My attempt at trolling Yourang was very, very lame, but I enjoyed it!!!! Bwahahahahah!

    Reply
  35. leelee | July 2, 2007 at 2:57 pm

    if you go on imdb.com you can see the nasty wig that she wore. Talk about low budget, they can’t even afford decent hair… let alone a decent script.

    Reply
  36. queenbuzz | July 2, 2007 at 2:59 pm

    Now that’s what I call “trailer trash”

    Reply
  37. wedgeone2 | July 2, 2007 at 3:00 pm

    I MADE A VOW NEVER TO POST AS A TROLLER AGAIN.

    Reply
  38. wedgeone2 | July 2, 2007 at 3:02 pm

    sICK OF THE FUCKING BULLSHIT AND TIRED OF BEING BLAMED- I AM HERE FOR WHOEVER IS READY TO CONTACT ME. SOMEONE HAVE THE BALLS TO STEP FORWARD. I HAVE CHANGED, THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW

    Reply
  39. krazihottkelli? | July 2, 2007 at 3:08 pm

    Jezzica needz to learn to
    zurf?????§ to get her zhape
    back????????=!

    Reply
  40. Jimbo | July 2, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    Trollers can suck me. No really.
    Someone suck me.

    Reply
  41. krazihotkelliiiii | July 2, 2007 at 3:19 pm

    I exizt here
    at the trollerz amuzement
    don’t try to ztop jezzica
    from doing her thing.
    zuperficialrockz Perezz
    Hilton blowz

    Reply
  42. wedgeone | July 2, 2007 at 3:39 pm

    WTF is with the pseudo-trolling going on here!?

    Reply
  43. crushed-x-beauty | July 2, 2007 at 5:19 pm

    I can’t stand her lipstick, it’s such an obnoxious shade of red.

    Reply
  44. Texas Tranny | July 2, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    Ok Jimbo, I’ll do it :-)

    Reply
  45. DeeDee | July 2, 2007 at 10:23 pm

    Wow – that is really horrific. And I’m not just saying that because I think Jessica Simpson is a dipshit. It’s truly, utterly, and positively horrific.

    And Luke Wilson…WTF?! His career is over and that’s too bad – he seems like a nice enough guy.

    And Simpson…you are cute and all, but please, for the love of all things good and pure, STOP MAKING MOVIES/ALBUMS. Find some good charities that you believe in and do some volunteer work. Open up a restaurant. Do SOMETHING else.

    Reply
  46. krazihottkelli | July 3, 2007 at 12:09 am

    #41=having fun yet?
    hope zo….

    So, Jimbo needz a blowjob?
    interexting….

    Reply
  47. Kingnitro | July 3, 2007 at 1:56 am

    As Long as Dada runs the Gals careers, shit like this will continue to Happen!

    Reply
  48. krazihottkelli? | July 3, 2007 at 9:40 am

    Jezzica: lock your dad away somewhere
    in an attic or basement and don’t let
    him out…hez ruining U..??

    Reply
  49. BlohansDeviatedSeptum | July 3, 2007 at 9:40 am

    I fund this hard to believe. I mean she was so money in that Employee of the Month movie.

    bwahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Reply
  50. wiinja | July 3, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    jessica is like a child:

    -she should be seen, and not heard
    -she should be locked back in the attic when company leaves

    …worked for me

    Reply

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