Jessica Simpson’s meat-love gets her unsolicited advice from PETA

June 17th, 2008 // 207 Comments

PETA has taken umbrage with Jessica Simpson’s T-shirt proclaiming “Real Girls Love Meat.” They decided to seek the moral high ground and respond with a list of five reasons “Why only stupid girls brag about eating meat.” Sciencey! Here’s my personal favorite gem:

4. Meat will make you fat. All the saturated fat and cholesterol in chicken wings, pork chops, and steak eventually leads to flabby thighs and love handles. I hope the upcoming “Jessica Simpson’s Intimates” line comes in plus sizes! Going vegetarian is the best way to get slim and stay that way.

Jesus! “Eating meat will make you fat.” How superficial. (Ha ha! The name of this site.) But, seriously, PETA left out these other pitfalls of being a carnivore that warrant your attention. What can I say? I’m a helper:

1. Meat will cause the Lifetime channel to go off the air. Or, at the very least, cancel Army Wives.

2. Feeding your husband meat will lead him straight into the arms of another woman. Who’s totally that chick at your work who you’d be friends with if only she didn’t have the same purse. Bitch.

3. AIDS: It’s what for dinner – if you eat meat.

superficial

  1. freebug2day

    Look, stupid.

    Real Girls Eat Meat – She’s saying she loves DI*K. She’ll suck it, and she’ll stuff it inside her.

    Gee. PETA – you guy thing too in the box. What’s your IQ – 2?

  2. starr

    I think your all stupid. Your fighting over a chick that thought chicken of the sea was really chicken. I’ve lived in my car children or not it is more affordable on a smaller income to eat any thing that comes from an animal. Hitler was also a crazy lunatick that tried to kill every jewish person in the world and had lamp shades made out of human skins for his wife. Have you ever even read his autobiography. If you have read it than you would have realized that he wasn’t that inteligent he was just trying to be politicaly sophisticated so when people read his book they would be like wow he is so smart. It was his generals that were the brains of the operations.

    P.S People will you please stop being so ignorant and use that brain power and energy into more important and pressing matters in the world. Children are dieing in third world countries. ALSO CHICKENS ARE NOT ONE OF GODS CREATURES BUT AN ACTUAL HYBRID THAT IS DERIVED FROM THE RED AND GREY FOWL AND ORIGINALLY COME FROM INDIA they were bred specifically so they could have a fowl that had more meat especially in the breast region and farm raised turkies at this point are completely geneticaly mutated. Cause real wild turky is all dark meat they don’t have white meat like almost any wild bird. Last but not least can you really prove that that list of famouse inteligent people were really vegitariens? Did you know them or are you taking some one elses word for it. “read every thing you can and question every thing you read” starr my quote. Cause you don’t know what those people were thinking and also every one has a mind of there own every one perceives things differently if we didn’t we would all be the same and life would be really boring. like Hitlers perceptions of WWII and the Jew’s perception on WWII. Every body sees things differently. So unless you really knew those very wonderful inteligent mean don’t bring them into a very ignorant and trivial argument and deface them. They were better than that thats why there names and accomplishments are going down in history and your is not. Cause your not inteligent enough to pick the right battles to fight.

  3. I have started reading this book and love it so far! I just couldn’t wait for it to go in to paper back.

  4. I have started reading this book and love it so far! I just couldn’t wait for it to go in to paper back.

  5. I have started reading this book and love it so far! I just couldn’t wait for it to go in to paper back.

  6. I have started reading this book and love it so far! I just couldn’t wait for it to go in to paper back.

  7. Whom is she???

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