Jessica Simpson’s meat-love gets her unsolicited advice from PETA

June 17th, 2008 // 207 Comments

PETA has taken umbrage with Jessica Simpson’s T-shirt proclaiming “Real Girls Love Meat.” They decided to seek the moral high ground and respond with a list of five reasons “Why only stupid girls brag about eating meat.” Sciencey! Here’s my personal favorite gem:

4. Meat will make you fat. All the saturated fat and cholesterol in chicken wings, pork chops, and steak eventually leads to flabby thighs and love handles. I hope the upcoming “Jessica Simpson’s Intimates” line comes in plus sizes! Going vegetarian is the best way to get slim and stay that way.

Jesus! “Eating meat will make you fat.” How superficial. (Ha ha! The name of this site.) But, seriously, PETA left out these other pitfalls of being a carnivore that warrant your attention. What can I say? I’m a helper:

1. Meat will cause the Lifetime channel to go off the air. Or, at the very least, cancel Army Wives.

2. Feeding your husband meat will lead him straight into the arms of another woman. Who’s totally that chick at your work who you’d be friends with if only she didn’t have the same purse. Bitch.

3. AIDS: It’s what for dinner – if you eat meat.

superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    HAHA! Nice explaination 46!

    What are you saying, a horse is smarter than a person? Horses would spit it out because they CANT digest it. It would be like us eating a piece of metal.

    Why do we have incisors Krystal? To tear the meat off of a nice strawberry? Why do we have an appendix?

  2. Krystal

    Smarter people more likely to be vegetarians.

    British researchers have just conducted a study that found that that the higher the IQ of a person is, the more likely they are to follow a relatively health diet overall. It also indicated, more specifically, that IQ is a reliable predictor of the likelihood of a teen/young adult becoming a vegetarian.

  3. Tanya

    Why are people still talking about whether you should eat salad or steak? Her shirt is just an affirmation of her sexual preference. Oh, and PETA is a whiny bag of wind.

  4. OC Dee

    Everyone has the right to choose what they want to eat. I am what you call a pescatarian. I eat wild caught fish and no meat. One can get all the protein one needs by eating fish, cheese, beans, and soy products. One can get all the calcium required by eating cheese and drinking soy milk. Light Chocolate Silk Soy Milk is my favorite. I am not skinny but petite and fit and have a nice tan from swimming and body surfing. I also work out with light weights to stay toned. I stopped eating meat after I learned how the factory farms raise the livestock. The government allows factory farms to inject growth hormones and antibiotics into the livestock. The factory farms feed the livestock fillers such as cement dust, newspapers, and excrement laced with pesticides. Meat does not sound appetizing at all. We are currently having a weight loss contest at my job site with most of the overweight people, and one female stopped eating meat and has already lost 10 pounds within 2 weeks.

  5. Krystal

    Vegetarians are more intelligent, says study

    Frequently dismissed as cranks, their fussy eating habits tend to make them unpopular with dinner party hosts and guests alike.

    But now it seems they may have the last laugh, with research showing vegetarians are more intelligent than their meat-eating friends.

  6. Kirk

    Question: Does PETA not know about how a proper diet is based on balance? a healthy balance of meat, grains, fruits and veggies? and that a healthy lifestyle with exercise and activity can man you lean mean and healthy? even when you eat meat? (in which Jessica does).

    plus, I don’t take my nutritional advice from a group that put buckets of chicken blood in the hands of children coming out of KFC.

    PETA is an institution of morons. But I also belong to “a” PETA. Not “the” PETA.

    I am glad that Jessica and I belong to the “People for the Eating of Tasty Animals.”

    Go suck on a carrot PETA.

  7. Katherine Heigle

    I became vegetarian last year and lost 23 pounds! whoo!!

  8. Krystal

    Kirk, you can get protein from other sources than meat you dimwit

  9. Lola

    I think we’re all missing the point here. To each it’s own…. You wanna eat meat, go ahead. It’s your choice. You want to eat leaves and nuts and stay away from meat, so be it. Also your choice. PETA is self-righteous and alot of what they do is stupid and pointless. Like throwing paint on celebrities and taking it upon themselves to putting J. Simpson out and responding to a stupid T-shirt she only wore either just to get attention or because she doesn’t know how to work a washing machine.
    No one is saying one is better than the other, it’s all a personal choice for each individual to do what they want.

  10. mike

    @58 Krystal, I have a lot of protein for you. Just get on your knees and I will fill you up.

  11. Auntie Kryst

    I’d like to be a vegetarian if it wasn’t for the fact that nothing goes better with a glass of scotch than a porterhouse. That and perhaps more glasses of scotch..

  12. Sinnar

    I’m vegetarian cause I love animals too much to eat them not cause of PETA, so stop being mean to us pleas…

  13. It’s been proven that the size of the human brain and, in turn, the increase in self-awareness and ingenuity is directly related to man eating flesh and benefiting from the excess protein, iron, and fat. Of course if you eat a 2 lb steak every day and fry your scrambled eggs in bacon grease, you will die younger than intended, but it’s smple fact that we would not be the same species if we didn’t evolve to eat meat. Also, hunted meat has a different nutritional value than mass produced factory farm meat. Krystal, expand your horizons and read books from more than one section in Barnes and Noble. I would try the self help section next…

  14. Vincent: Want some bacon?
    Jules: No man, I don’t eat pork.
    Vincent: Are you Jewish?
    Jules: Nah, I ain’t Jewish, I just don’t dig on swine, that’s all.
    Vincent: Why not?
    Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don’t eat filthy animals.
    Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
    Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’d never know ’cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That’s a filthy animal. I ain’t eat nothin’ that ain’t got enough sense enough to disregard its own faeces.
    Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
    Jules: I don’t eat dog either.
    Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
    Jules: I wouldn’t go so far as to call a dog filthy but they’re definitely dirty. But, a dog’s got personality. Personality goes a long way.
    Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
    Jules: Well we’d have to be talkin’ about one charmin’ motherfuckin’ pig. I mean he’d have to be ten times more charmin’ than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I’m sayin’?

  15. Kat

    I’ve been a vegetarian for eight years and the shirt didn’t make me flinch. It was a stupid cry for attention. I think she’s just pissed off that the pregnant little sister has been getting all the focus lately. And it was totally unnecessary for PETA to jump in…they’re such a pack of hysterical losers. They make all the sane vegetarians in the world look bad.

  16. Georgia

    @64, Pigs are actually very clean animals, they only use mud cause they have no sweat pores so they use it to cool off, other then that they hate being dirty.

  17. Dr Veggi

    Kyrstal and all the other vegetarians getting put down on this site. Please try not to waste your time debating with ignorant people. The bottom line is vegetarians who practice good eating habits are healthier than those eating factory farmed animals.

  18. #61 – Excellent pairing, but not as good as this box of Trojans and that sassy little intern down the hall…

  19. !

    if animals weren’t meant to be eaten then they wouldn’t be so damn yummy! : )

  20. dystopia

    @5 Not only do we have the same name but I think I love you.

    Humans were meant to be omnivores. If we were meant to be herbivores, our stomachs would be a lot more complex and we wouldn’t need vitamin B12. kthxbye

  21. Joshua

    You guys bitch about vegetarians all the time and wonder why they get so defensive. If someone was calling me a “wacko” or “annoying” or saying I look pasty, pale and weak I’d be getting upset too. Just STFU and leave them be, jesus.

  22. havoc

    PETA lost all credibility years ago.

    They are a joke, they just don’t realize it.

    .

  23. The only difference between pigs and dogs is the way we treat them. On factory farms, mother pigs spend their days and nights on the cold concrete floors of tiny metal boxes called “gestation crates” (or “farrowing crates”). The crates are so small that the pigs can’t even turn around–but they spend most of their lives in there.

    Pigs also have their tails cut off and their teeth ripped out, and they’re castrated–all without any painkillers. It’s wrong to do these things to dogs, and it’s wrong to do them to pigs.

    Think about it: If pigs said “woof”–would we treat them like this?

    Pigs are the smartest animals on the planet besides primates. They’re as smart as 3-year-old children, and pigs can suffer and feel pain just as we can. It isn’t fair for them to live out their lives on factory farms, where they are denied everything that is natural and important to them–like rolling in mud, playing with their families, and basking in the warmth of the sun.

  24. Georgia

    That’s true #73, pigs are actually smarter then dogs.

  25. Vic

    Hundreds of thousands of sheep and cattle have been slaughtered to stop the spread of foot-and-mouth disease and mad cow disease in Britain and other countries in the European Union. Funeral pyres are burning ’round the clock. The entire beef industry is on the verge of collapse.
    The disasters striking overseas are the result of “modern” methods used in the meat industry. Viruses spread like wildfire on factory farms where animals are crammed together without enough space to turn around or lie down. Saving pennies by grinding up left-over bits of sheep and cows and feeding them to other cows is believed to be responsible for mad cow disease and, in humans, the deadly variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.

  26. #73 – I swear, your link should be to a picture of a violin…

  27. PETA is wrong. Eating meat doesn’t make you fat. Eating breaded battered ANYTHING will make you fat. Dumbasses.

  28. Jessica

    So what if PETA reacted, jessica was being a bitch and dissing them saying that you’re not a real girl if you don’t eat it.

    Yes it has a sexual meaning behind it too, but it has two meanings

  29. Dale Gribble

    Fact: Americans are fat asses.

    Fact: The government created even more fat asses by putting out that “food pyramid” propaganda.

    Fact: The meat-loving Atkins diet has outperformed every other diet in every major large-scale scientific study to date, AND has never shown the expected negative impact on long-term health.

    Fact: The Atkins diet continues to get bashed by the American medical community because they can’t admit they were WRONG. When humans eat a meat-focused diet and stay away from carbs, they stay thinner and healthier, because that’s the way evolution built us. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACT.

  30. Janet

    I fucking hate PETA so much

  31. Harold

    @79

    Those are not facts you ignorant tard

    I’m not fat and I’m American. What now?

    There is fat people everywhere

  32. Nikki

    Funny that PETA claims to care so much for animals, but is against certain TYPES of animals…ehem, like how PETA supports the ban on Pit Bulls. Is is really HUMANE to have a whole breed banned and slaughtered because of the actions of neglectful owners? What about the animal cruelty charges by numerous PETA staff? Frigging hypocrites. I support ending needless animal cruelty, but I HATE PETA AND ITS CELEBRITY B.S.

  33. I hate peta, go jessica!!

    she has just earned my respect. I’ve seen plenty of fat “vegetarians” only vegans are thin because of their diets.
    Peta has just showed how shallow they are.

    Go Jessica!
    Peta kills puppies.

  34. Spanky

    PETA has it right! Don’t eat meat. There’s only one real good reason to kill an animal.

    For fun.

    Then just throw all that gross meat stuff away. It’s not like there are starving people in the world or anything, there’s enough grass to go around to feed everyone!

  35. #81 – I think you meant to write: There BE fat people everywhere.

  36. M.D.

    #81 – actually, Harold dearest, the part about the Atkins diet beating all the others is a fact. The studies are published, you can look it up.

  37. Tha Truth

    @ #49
    Krystal,
    Way to provide support and omit that he wrote this little nugget within the LAST YEAR OF HIS LIFE–which was when he decided to become a vegetarian. Prior to actually refraining from eating meat in the last year of his life, he made references to being a vegetarian, WHILE HE HIMSELF ATE MEAT.
    Perhaps he was senile when he stopped eating meat? Perhaps he couldn’t digest properly in his old age? Perhaps he just wanted to try it out?

    Regardless of his reasoning, when someone decides to not eat meat for an extremely limited period of their existence, while they ate meat during the extreme majority of their existence, it is pretty stupid to refer to them as “vegetarian.” Thanks for showing that you will stoop to the level of manipulation to win an argument on a message board.
    Can I now use this as irrefutable evidence that vegetarians are deceptive little douchebags?

  38. Nutri

    #79

    My aunt has severe osteoroposis from not getting enough calcium and eating too much meat. The bottom line is have a colorful plate (vegetables, fish, and rice) and eat a balanced diet. Moderation is the key and not a unhealthy fad diet.

  39. Kuneh

    @87
    Does it really matter WHEN he became one? He still saw it as the better lifestyle even if he was really old at the time.

  40. AJ

    #49

    Very interesting quote from Einstein-thanks. I am glad he spoke his opinion before he died whether he recently became a vegetarian or not.

  41. Violet

    @51 “Why do we have an appendix?”

    Actually, that one has nothing to do with meat eating. Scientists now theorize that we have an appendix because, in ages when population density was lower, the bacteria that lives there was needed to repopulate the intestines after an illness that wiped them out. It’s vestigial, now, because we can pick up the needed bacteria from other people.

    I don’t really sweat other people’s food choices. I do think that meat eating is going to drop quite a lot as fuel and animal feed prices make meat unaffordable. Meat eating is, in the long run, unsustainable. But, I think this one is going to sort itself without PETA and their ilk getting all bombastic.

  42. Megan

    ZOMG PEOPLES, I KNOW A GUY WHO ATE MEAT, LIKE, ALL THE TIME. THEN HE GOT HIT BY A CAR AND DIED. MEAT KILLS!!!

  43. Mine

    I know quite a few fat vegetarians.

  44. Pescatarian

    Some people have bad eating habits whether they are vegetarian or not and are overweight. The point is that being vegetarian is healthier than being a meat eater if one practices a balance diet and eats in moderation.

  45. Tha Truth

    @89
    To me, no it doesn’t matter, he can do whatever he wants…it is just manipulative to try to categorize someone as a “vegetarian” when they were only acting as a vegetarian for 1 year out of the 76 years that they actually were alive, only to make your argument look stronger. The intent was for all of us here to say “wow, Einstein was a vegetarian his whole life, and he is a genius!” The truth is he was NOT a vegetarian until he was 75 years old. It is just manipulative…

    Besides, we don’t know WHY he chose to be a vegetarian…he could have NEEDED to become a vegetarian, for a variety of health reasons…

  46. ashlee simpson

    PETA = obeast dykes who need to get a life. Only morbidly obese dykes cry wolf like this.

  47. Stuey

    vegetarians should be shot, or worse, sent to Canada

  48. Ted Kennedy's tumor

    PETA and Planned Parenthood should be labled Terrorist Orginizations.

  49. Einstein Archive

    “I have always eaten animal flesh with a somewhat guilty conscience.”
    - Einstein Archive 60-058

  50. tracyjean

    PETA has away of making Jessica Simpson look smarter. I thought their organization was about animal rights blahblahblah. Now they are about being “healthy?” Lamelamelame

    PS I am currently a vegetarian too. My shoes are made of leather though & I use to have a pet dog so PETA shunned me. I am really just angry.

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