Jessica Simpson’s meat-love gets her unsolicited advice from PETA

June 17th, 2008 // 207 Comments

PETA has taken umbrage with Jessica Simpson’s T-shirt proclaiming “Real Girls Love Meat.” They decided to seek the moral high ground and respond with a list of five reasons “Why only stupid girls brag about eating meat.” Sciencey! Here’s my personal favorite gem:

4. Meat will make you fat. All the saturated fat and cholesterol in chicken wings, pork chops, and steak eventually leads to flabby thighs and love handles. I hope the upcoming “Jessica Simpson’s Intimates” line comes in plus sizes! Going vegetarian is the best way to get slim and stay that way.

Jesus! “Eating meat will make you fat.” How superficial. (Ha ha! The name of this site.) But, seriously, PETA left out these other pitfalls of being a carnivore that warrant your attention. What can I say? I’m a helper:

1. Meat will cause the Lifetime channel to go off the air. Or, at the very least, cancel Army Wives.

2. Feeding your husband meat will lead him straight into the arms of another woman. Who’s totally that chick at your work who you’d be friends with if only she didn’t have the same purse. Bitch.

3. AIDS: It’s what for dinner – if you eat meat.

superficial

  1. I’m a vegetarian, and I eat meat. And like it.

  2. Ruby

    Ow, that shirt is actually about EATING MEAT. I thought it was meant as a dirty joke. I really need to get my mind out of the gutter.

  3. Lola

    Like we all said yesterday when these pictures were posted on the site….. This airhead tramp only wore that T-shirt for publicity. Peopel with no real talents usually do stupid retarded shit like this to get some kind of reaction from the public so their names are in the tabloids.
    Way to go J. Simpson. Try to get people to stop focusing on your fake relationship with dumb-ass, and focus on a stupid comment worn over your even fak-er boobs. Be truthful, the only meat you eat or that you’ll ever eat, has to be lodged between a man’s legs right?
    Can’t stand this talent-less cunt.

  4. *rolls eyes* Being vegetarian will help you slim down and stay that way, eh. It will also make you an extremely pale and weak individual as you try desperatly to replace the much needed iron your body functions on with suppliments.

    Wouldn’t it be nice if PETA would just blow away…if they’re all so thin, then a strong breeze could come along and pick them up. Then they could be carried to a land full of carnivores and they can see how much their little animal friends love them.

  5. Megan

    PETA is one of the worst organizations since religion.

  6. eh

    I agree with Lola

  7. Wait, you mean there is meat not located somewhere on the human body. Like, non-human meat? And people eat that?!? I’m so… I’m so confused….

  8. Flavio

    jesus vegetarians are annoying! now, Jessica Simpson is very annoying as well, but please, its just ridiculous for PETA to pretend there are no overweight vegetarians (I know several) and that all you have to do to stay in good shape is avoid meat. there is no scientific or health-related backing to this, they just say it because it sounds plausible. PETA is the cheesiest cause-celebre in the world.

  9. I can get behind cannabilism, but eating non-human meat is wrong. Or something. Maybe it’s the bottle of wine I drank.

    Where’s Jimbo? He’ll straighten this out.

  10. cmjr28

    PETA get a life!

  11. cmjr28

    PETA get a life!

  12. Now we all know how “SMART” she is!!

  13. wet newspaper

    Great idea, PETA. Scare girls off eating meat because they’ll get fat if they’re not vegetarian. BS. Glad to see you’re concerned about the unrealistic expectations of image placed on young girls. And girls going vego for a legitimate reason. Bah. I angrily point my wet newspaper at you.

  14. Deacon Jones

    @8

    I agree. We have 3 Vegans at our work and they look worse than anyone else, theyre all at least 50 pounds overweight, white as a sheet of paper, and have these purple rings under their eyes.

    All the fucking eat is pasta, pizza, or salads. Theyre blimps!

    And who would expect the hairy, black rimmed glasses-wearing fems at PETA would have an eating meat joke go totally over their heads.

  15. meateatingmeateater

    All the vegetarians I know are fat. And most of them have mentioned that they need to eat shit-loads of cheese and other such foods to fill them up, as pasta just doesn’t cut it.

    Eating meat and exercising is going to give you a slim-lined, toned physique. Meat = protein, and protein = muscles which = defined body shape. Not eating meat and not exercising = a bit of chub. Not eating meat and exercising = boney, skinny, pale, wasting-away.

    I love animals and am all for animal rights but f*ck PETA. Do they really think anyone takes them seriously with comments like “meat makes you fat and gives you flabby bingo wings.”

  16. nipolian

    Just so you know PETA………Everytime you piss me off with dumbass statements like this one………there is one less kitten in the world.

  17. Not a bimbo Jessica fan but PETA is ridiculous. If God didn’t want us to eat animals he wouldn’t have made them so yummy. I didn’t claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat veggies!

  18. JohnDeer

    Good for peta, I hate fking ugly btch Jessica Simpson

  19. @9 Hey Sara, Cannabilism? What do you consider a good human to eat? I have seen a few that I would not mind taking a bite out of.

    Are you still in Korea?

  20. Eating meat will make the Lifetime Channel go off the air? Really???

    I don’t eat meat now (for health and environmental reasons, not because of those freaks at PETA) but I might consider the occasional steak if it will make that channel disappear.

    What do we have to do to get rid of The Oxygen Channel?

  21. People Eating Tasty Animals?

    Pornstars Eventually Try Anal?

    Pissing Especially Toward Everyone?

    Pimps Even Take AMEX?

  22. Lava

    I’m a vegetarian and I’m 5’5 and 106 pounds.

    I’m slim and I don’t work out and I can thank being vegetarian. Meat is gross.

    “Vegetarians are weak and pale”

    Really? I’m pretty sure I got a cute tan this summer, I’m in good shape, can beat my brothers in tennis.

  23. Hypocritical PETA

    PETA supports enviromental terrorism and is an evil organization that pretends like they have good intentions.

  24. Krystal

    Humans weren’t intended to eat meat. We are identical to herbivores, we aren’t even omnivores. Whatever though, fatties don’t want to put down that burger.

    Check out this chart if you don’t believe me

    http://i31.tinypic.com/2meojtw.jpg

  25. KD

    Jessica is a stupid bitch for wearing that shirt. What does that accomplish. She is truly an idiot. No act.

  26. coffeebean

    Lava – 12 year old girls don’t count. Now turn off the computer and go beat off your brothers some more.

  27. Rod

    You know, this is one of those topics I should stay out of, because it gets pretty heated and there’s never a clear winner, but I really do have to point out that all lifestyle choices, whether they be sexuality, religion, or even diet cause rifts in the populace. I just don’t understand why everyone has to push their beliefs on others. It’s nothing but pure ignorance to claim only one lifestyle is right or correct. Both vegans/vegetarians and carnivores can be real assholes about it. Everyone just needs to STFU and coexist.

  28. Lava

    Nice one coffeebean, but it’s irrelevant, since I’m 19…. =)

    I have nothing against meat-eaters, my whole family eats meat besides me. I’m sick of stereotypes though and getting hatred from meat-eaters when I’ve done nothing. I don’t force my views down peoples throat, it’s your body if you wanna put that crap in it, go ahead. Just don’t try to tell me to eat meat.

  29. wet newspaper

    # 22 – That’s not slim – it’s a bag ‘o’ friggen bones. You don’t work out, but beat your brothers at tennis? Well, F*ck my @ss and call me a bitch – tennis is exercise is it not? Stop talking gibberish, rake-gurl. ^-_-^

  30. 32

    Meat in moderation is perfectly fine and will not make you fat if eaten in a reasonable portion.
    if humans were meant to be exclusively herbivores we wouldn’t have developed the teeth to eat meat. So PETA blame evolution, nature or God… whichever floats your boat.
    PETA gets on my nerves…. damn freaks. Be vegetarian if you want, I don’t care, but don’t try to make me feel bad because I enjoy eating a good piece of grilled chicken or the occasional steak.

  31. Marcos Garcia

    @14

    Everyone should expect that, Deacon.

    Is the purple-rings-under-eyes caused from no-meat diet?

  32. Mumps

    “4. Meat will make you fat. All the saturated fat and cholesterol in chicken wings, pork chops, and steak eventually leads to flabby thighs and love handles. I hope the upcoming “Jessica Simpson’s Intimates” line comes in plus sizes! Going vegetarian is the best way to get slim and stay that way.”

    Hate to break it to PETA, but I know plenty of fat vegetarians. Just because you don’t eat meat, doesn’t neccessarily mean you’re going to slim down.

  33. KARL

    Hey Jimbo #19
    I can see why you have so many trolls. You are just plain fucking stupid. Cant wait for your really witty reply. Let me help you, Hey Karl your a douch bag. So fucking clever you trollable ass wipe.

  34. Deacon Jones

    Oh shut up Krystal.
    If we weren’t intended to eat meat, we wouldnt have the digestive enzymes in our bodies that are needed to break it down. It would be like feeding a burger to a horse, they would puke it up since they can’t digest it.

  35. Joshua

    Leave vegetarians/vegans alone, I never understood why so many fellow meat-eaters have such hatred towards them.

    Not every vegetarian/vegan is a member of PETA, it’s the way they live and if they eat properly it’s actually a much healthier lifestyle.

    I applaud vegetarians/vegans actually, to have the willpower to even do that.

    I could never become one.

    My girlfriend is a vegan and she’s absolutely perfect, doesn’t mind that I eat it.

  36. dude_on_a_wire

    @24 – that is complete and utter BS. Humans are both carnivores and herbivores. Have your DNA checked – it is chocked full of empirical evidence that your ancestors consumed animal meat since the beginning of hominid existence. If our species was “intended to be herbivores” then we would not possess the proteins necessary to consume and digest meat.

    Now enough already with the veggie freaks. Jes is no MENSA candidate, but she has a nice rack and I’m extremely impressed that even with an IQ equal to the current temperature in Nome Alaska, she can express something as docile as her eating preferences AND show off a quality set of tits all at the same time.

    – I guarantee you that if there was suddenly a vegetable shortage these wacko veggie dorks would be eye gouging for a slab of baby backs.

  37. Krystal

    You know we are most like chimps right? What do they eat? They are vegetarian, that’s right. On occasions they’ll eat bugs, they can still digest it but it isn’t quite good for them.

    It’s been proven also that on average vegetarians are smarter.

    Charles Darwin, Jane Goodall, Albert Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, Gandhi, Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, William Shakespeare, Sir Isaac Newton, Plato, are just a few of the famous people who were vegetarian

    I’M PROUD TO BE VEGETARIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Nala

    “wouldn’t be able to digest it” ? Are you kidding me?

    You could digest card board if you wanted to but it doesn’t mean that its good for you.

    So naive.

  39. @33 Karl, I know why no one ever trolls you. Calling you a douche bag would be a compliment. Go crawl back in your hole you worthless fucking butt plug..

  40. Krystal

    @30, We don’t have the teeth to eat meat, why do you think we have to cook it so much?

    If we were intended to go eat meat, then go tackle a cow, tear open it’s flesh and eat it’s meat right there, like how real animals that are suppose to eat it do.

    We have fingers perfect for picking berries, back molars for grinding nuts and such, two front teeth to bite into an apple.

    What ever you say you meat-eaters, you just keep trying to justify it.

  41. agree

    She is such a cuttie. Her photos were seen at millionaire persoanals site ******W e a l t h y R o m a n c e . c o m*****last week. It is said she is already in relationship with a young billionaire on that site now.

    ?????????????????

  42. Deacon Jones

    @38

    No Im not kidding you. Get a degree in biology and then debate me bitch

  43. Princess Sally

    They are probably right, just look at jessica simpsons face, she looks like a man.

    She’s getting a little chubby too

  44. @

    @37
    that complete BS…. You have zero proof that half of those people were Vegetarian, unless you go to Wikipedia and put it in their bio yourself!

    and yes many chimps are Omnivores (I know… thats a grown up word, it means meat and veggie eater) what do you think they sit around and only eat Bananas?!
    idiot….

    be a vegetarian if you want, I don’t care…. but don’t start making shit up to make your case.

  45. My woman has eaten my meat for years, and really, I think it’s all the splooge that got her hippy…

  46. Hai

    You’re retarded Deacon Jones. Horse would spit it out only cause it doesn’t taste good to them and they have the instinct to know it’s not good for them.

    Humans have always acted on thought, rather than instinct, so it’s no wonder cavemen would of ate it.

    Humans have gotten smarter since then, we know what it does to your body now, yet still so many ignorant people.

  47. Krystal spewed: “It’s been proven also that on average vegetarians are smarter.”

    Too bad you’re bringing down the curve. Chimps eat meat and lots of it, not just “bugs”. Sheesh, If you don’t want to eat some meat to get the necessary protein for higher brain functions, Krystal, give me a ring and I’ll hook you up with a protein injection.

    http://www-rcf.usc.edu/~stanford/chimphunt.html

  48. Girl is desperate for attention.

  49. Krystal

    “So I am living without fats, without meat, without fish, but am feeling quite well this way. It always seems to me that man was not born to be a carnivore.”

    -Albert Einstein

    “Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet. ”

    -Albert Einstein

  50. p0nk

    @37 “It’s been proven also that on average vegetarians are smarter.”

    way to bring the curve down!

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