Jessica Simpson’s dog snatched by coyote
God really hates Jessica Simpson these days. Not only did she lose Tony Romo, but now her dog Daisy was stolen by a coyote yesterday, according to her Twitter:
My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!
Obviously, Jessica’s offering some sort of reward for Daisy’s return which is why you’ll see Joe Simpson and the 50 Blackwater mercenaries he hired scouring the countryside. “No one sleeps until there’s a check for two boob dollars in my hand, gentlemen. Now let’s move out!”