Jessica Simpson’s breasts anger, confuse country music fans

September 8th, 2008 // 63 Comments

Jessica Simpson continues to have a hell of a time winning over country music fans. After wearing a cleavagey getup at the Grand Ole Opry on Saturday, Jessica learned this crowd fucking hates spectacular racks. I’m not even going to read between the lines on that one – except for quietly in my head: Gay. People reports:

Audience members, it seemed, couldn’t believe her costume choice. “I think she should have put some clothes on,” one viewer said. While another one responded to how she liked Simpson’s performance with: “I loved that new girl, Crystal [Shawanda] – and she was dressed appropriately.”

I honestly don’t get it. Why can’t Jessica Simpson seal the deal with simple folk? I mean, Sarah Palin had the Midwest eating out of her hand within five seconds and she didn’t even show some boob. (Yet.) For the record, I’m in no way suggesting Jessica Simpson give birth to a mentally handicapped child to win this crowd over because that would be both cynical and wrong. But, on the same token, let’s not kid ourselves that she couldn’t do it – easily. I’m talking blind-folded, people.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. Mel

    Love her!

  2. Jimmy

    First fuck holes!

  3. peanut

    i love wiener

  4. rough daddy

    why is she trying to win over the those inbreeds anyway, its like me trying to win over the likes of “poopoopants” “Frist” etc.

  5. bigSTEAMYone

    she looks like her fat -pregnant- no talent -lip syncing sister.

  6. RogerHu

    Awww, soo Hot!! Good to see her at the Opry!

  7. pistolita

    she looks either fat or prego in that brown dress.

    on a separate note, whatching that video made ME embarrassed! it’s just SUCH an obvious last attempt to salvage/create a music career by switching to country. her voice is not strong enough for the songs she’s attempting to sing. she may be from texas, but this country thing is NOT authentic.

  8. Toni

    She is sooo pregnant. Look at the tummy! I am 3 months along, and I see that same tummy every day in the mirror! I’m betting she’s preggo!

  9. JrsyGrl

    Bunch of haters! She looks beautiful. From an industry who idolizes Dolly Parton, they think that Jessica looks inappropriate? Silliness.

  10. Barak Obama

    We just know stupid when we see it. Just like we see how stupid people are who think rockin’ obama the new messiah is going to do anything worth while. So far he hasn’t done jack shit. Yet stupid people still think he is the “answer”.

    Fucking stupid idiots.

  11. jt

    how do her awesome boobs anger and confuse people?

  12. lulu

    WOW, I freakin HATE country music and I think she sounds great!!!!!! I was skeptical at first but I think this will be good for her…eventually. The country folk will come around…

  13. yawn

    so gd hot..

    but the dumb head movement needs to stop..
    and that extra thing she does with her voice after every phrase is also annoying.. “come on over.. ahh”

  14. observant.as.hell

    God hands out only one gift per person…Jessica got boobies…not talent. God is good, God is great.

  15. Vince Lombardi

    The problem is that she needs a wonder bra under the dress. Her boobs look like they are pointing north and south.

  16. this is twice today that i am shocked by the readers of Superficial. i believe the obvious answer that country music stars wanted her cover up was that is wasnt related to any of them which means she was off limits and offensive.

    i personally would welcome any distraction she could offer as to avoid the mental anguish i would feel from her caterwauling.

  17. veggi

    With everything else Jessica Simpson offers for ridicule, they object to her one virtue: big tits. Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Ted Haggart – how many examples do you need? Country music lovin’ good ol’ conservative Republican folks are angry repressed homosexuals. At the RNC last week, there were lines stretching for miles leading to that bathroom at the airport.

  18. Karen

    All the Billy Ray Cyruses in the audience were pissed that Jessica’s huge boobs were distracting them from the blowjobs they were getting from their daughters.

  19. gary abight

    what the hell is that panty line in the first photo? it is up too high… is she wearing granny pantaloons or is that a truss???

  20. noneyabeezwax

    hillbillies only like their tits on cows. silly bitches

  21. Sarah Palin

    Fish, it’s not my tardbaby that’s the key. It’s that I say exactly what the daddy-types say, all harsh and judgmental and god-y, while looking like a naughty librarian. Drives ‘em crazy. The key is to be pretty and have no identity of your own. It allowed me to sign on with that incontinent demented fool McCain, even though my current beliefs say I should HATE HIM for his beliefs – or, at least what his beliefs were around the time of the New Hampshire primary. You have to flip a bunch of them to get to his current beliefs. But anyway, right now – before my first press interview, which is, like, taking FOREVA!!! – I’m being told what I should believe now, so I don’t look completely incompatible with ol’ maverick (let me practice: “hey you kids, get off my lawn!” hahahaha). I can’t believe I’ll have to say I’m against earmarked funds – that’s just about all I worked for in Alaska, since you’ve got to pay people to stay there and work the pipeline (I mean oil, not what Bristol did).

    But just wait for my interview with Charlie Gibson. We picked him because a senior Republican leader at the RNC was blowing a young boy in a bathroom stall (standard practice at all our meetings) and peeked through a hole and saw Gibson jerking off to my picture in the next stall. Men are such easily manipulated idiots!

  22. THE CLEM

    god i hate tony romo

  23. Jodi

    She looks so pregnant! Or she should lay off the carbs.

    Jessica, you are no Dolly Parton!

  24. where be obammy daddy?

    how many sluts did obammy daddy knock up and abandon? how many bastard children did obammydaddy have?

  25. Sarah Palin

    #24 – just one, and it was very recent: my lovely daughter Bristol. I filmed it. There’s a booming market for my new video series, “Dumb Alaskan Slut and Huge African Cocks.” And as you know, I have no regard for my children’s wellbeing when an opportunity for self-advancement arises. BARRACUDA!

  26. Lux

    does she have cellulite on her arms on that first pic? O_o

  27. I’m way more offended by the fact that she can’t sing…

  28. I’m way more offended by the fact that she can’t sing…

  29. Jackson

    She is she wearing the same type of fat dress that Kim Kardaskank wears when she does not want to wear her support butt girdle. Jessica is getting fat and will have to wear a girdle like Kim. Too bad Jessica lost a lot of weight for her Dukes movie and her breasts got saggy from weight loss and she had to get implants to make her breasts perky. And now Jessica is fat again.

  30. dozer

    OMFG I saw these photos. We have found bigfoot although I didn’t know he bleached his hair

  31. Iscariot

    Well I think her bobs look amazing and so does she personally. More of that, less of country people.

  32. biff

    Who are the haters? Heck, on her best day she might have American Idol “Hollywood round” talent, but that’s it, and she has no “feel” for country music. The supposedly ignorant hicks can spot a fraud a million miles away.

  33. milli

    Couldn’t be her boobs – country music has one of the biggest breasted women ever: Dolly Parton. She almost always pimped her rack with some cleavage. I’m guessing that she isn’t making it out there because she 1. sucks and 2. is crossing over. Crossing over is a tough sale especially when you’re coming from the Briney Spears pop scene over to something that is more “down-home” type. She could come out on stage in a tucked in flannel with wranglers and she still wouldn’t win over the country fans. I’m sture they all just think she’s a big phony.

  34. Joe Bauers

    Most people on this sight, including the “writer”, seem to constantly confuse superficiality with downright ignorance. Making a remark about someone wearing an ugly dress or having a bad boob job is superficial. Cracking jokes at the expense of the mentally impaired (and a baby at that) is ignorance. I can only assume then that the majority of the people who post here are not even out of middle school and therefor don’t know any better.

    That said, I agree with #9, Dolly’s boobs are much larger and always on display. Maybe country music fans only like love pillows if they remind them of their Granny?

  35. Joe Bauers

    edit: sight =site…whatever.

  36. Moolarg

    ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
    Holy fuck nuts batman!
    She SERIOUSLY needs to get a COUNTRY vocal coach…
    Get rid of the pop singing if you are trying to go country….
    She keeps flipping between both and it sounds like she is getting punched in the stomach when she is singing…
    *vomits*
    oh sorry….the video isnt over yet.
    No wonder everyone hated it…it was HORRIBLE….learn to sing like a country singer and the simple folk might accept you….
    See there is one thing other country greats had that you dont Jessica….TALENT.
    harsh I know but that was one of the worst …….I wont even stoop as low as calling THAT a performance…but lets just say you should stick to pop and ballads…its what you are comfortable with OBVIOUSLY…
    and you dont sound like you are being killed when you do it….unlike this horrific fucking train wreck.
    Van flip in to the great lake of aids..
    plz.

  37. lori

    What’s that herky jerky thing she’s doing with her head?

    Yeah, people in the midwest love Sarah Palin. She’s exactly what they’re looking for in a leader: mean and simple. Somebody they can relate to.

  38. lori

    @24, calm down and take your medicine. There now, hurry up and get to bed before the boogeyman gets you!

  39. jessicunt

    Crap – she looks like CRAP. Bleached dry frizzled hair, pasty white skin, fat arms, – keep eating tons of meat, stupid talentless excuse for a country singer – where’s Leann Rimes when you need her?

  40. She has become Fat but Still I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE her Rack !!

    XOXO

  41. kk

    She isn’t showing anything, please! And need I even mention Dolly Paron? Whatever!

  42. The End of Days is coming... only Alaska will be saved

    Don’t you know that you have to singe “in tongues” in order win over country fans?

    Praise Jesus! Oh and pray for God to give me a new plasma TV after he finishes building that Alaskan pipeline.

  43. The End of Days is coming... only Alaska will be saved

    Don’t you know that you have to sing “in tongues” in order win over country fans?

    Praise Jesus! Oh and pray for God to give me a new plasma TV after he finishes building that Alaskan pipeline.

  44. Steven Snell

    I don’t get it..? Country folks don’t like BIG-CANS? Dang… That is why my Uncle Billy-Bob watched Hee-Haw.. Country fans have bought Dolly Parton about 4 sets of Huge Cans by last count. Truth is, they just don’t like Jessica “dumbin’ down” their QB in Dallas country,

  45. friendlyfires

    Jessica Simpson
    Mothered a gimp son
    Wrapped it in silk
    Denied it her milk
    Left it for dead
    On a trash can lid
    Discovered by firemen
    Call me a liar, Sven

    Read it all buried on page ten

  46. DUMB and DUMBER again?

  47. blah

    she definetly does look pregnant…look at her belly. It looks like 3 or 4 months along. And wow, cellulite already on her arms! Yipes! It won’t be too long before she just settles down married with children. All that being said, I still think she’s pretty…kind of like a mini Faith Hill.

  48. I don’t understand, Jessica Simpson’s tits are the best thing about her… why would people complain?

  49. Being country does not make you dumb

    Perhaps folks know she is a fake? Could that be it? She is desperate as her career is really almost over otherwise. Scumbag Unholywood will push a singing turd if they think it will make them money (Mr. Hanky?)

    Fuck Hollywood and all the crooks and perverts there and Jessica Simpson and her big nasty farting ass or skinny ass

  50. Tony Romo's pubic hair lice

    She’s only sucking the country music teat because of Romo (Cowboys).

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