Jessica Simpson’s breasts are part of a balanced breakfast

October 4th, 2007 // 173 Comments

Talk about a breath of fresh air. Let’s just take a break from Britney and take in the magnificent cleavage of Jessica Simpson. Those things kind of make everything go away, don’t they? I feel rejuvenated already. What’s that? Her face isn’t looking so great? Okay, I don’t want to be rude, but, if you were looking at Jessica Simpson’s face, this might not be the site for you. You’ve completely missed the artistic statement I’m trying to make here, and that is this: Gigantic boobs are the most awesome and important thing in the world. Did I copy that from the Bible? No, but don’t feel bad, I get that a lot.


  1. Ed

    Looks like she spends a lot of time on her knees. I know this perv can think of some really great reasons to have her on her knees.

  2. Watter Bottle

    Someone raked over her face with a cheese grater

  3. Britney Crotch Juice

    looks like she’s on a hunt for someone to have sloppy seconds!

  4. unfoofoo

    WTF? She literally looks like she’s 45! Too much tanning!

  5. Oops, i crapped my pants!

    She would be a great prostitute.

  6. evilqueen

    i don’t see there’s anything wrong with her… infact i think she is the MOST natural beauty beside Beyonce

  7. gerard Vandenberg

    The only part I like about you, although I do not know how bald and wet your Pussie is, are those lovely BIG TITS of yours. JESUS CHRIST JESS!!

  8. haroof

    You paying attention, Britney?

  9. JagedNS

    hehehe she really has the “deer caught in the headlights” look about her doesn’t she?

    The lights are on but……………

  10. veggi needs a fucking drink

    who spells pussy with an ie?

    I kinda like jess. she’s funny without knowing it.

  11. BunnyButt

    Nice rug burns on her knees …

  12. Spaced and thrusting

    In pic 5 she looks particularly spacey(hypnotized) and like she’s thrusting her tits at the woman in front of her, “Here they are master, here they are master . . .”

  13. Doofus

    “Gigantic boobs are the most awesome and important thing in the world.”

    Love that quote. I’m going to say it to one of my flat-chested bosses at work today. I’m sure she’ll appreciate the honesty!

  14. Donkey Ass

    So much boobie so little brains

  15. leatherdaddy

    fish call this what it is, a filler. have a drink & let the magic flow.

  16. hmmmm

    #6, you are kind of random. maybe should open a sears catalogue… i see better looking women all the time in that

    and as for the quote
    “Gigantic boobs are the most awesome and important thing in the world.”

    i disagree. sherri shepards are gigantic, but i would still rather do a pretty thin girl with a flat chest.

  17. 15piecesofflare

    She just needs to marry a football player and get it over with.

  18. stickykeys

    fuck, she looks as dumb as a box of rocks. i bet when she thinks real hard, a soft queef-like sound comes out of her ears.

  19. i see number 16

    so you are saying the lunch lady at my school is NOT superior to jessica alba??
    despite the fact that her boobs are bigger???

  20. PunkA

    I bet she gets tagged more often than the slow kid on the payground.


    WHATEVER! my mom has bigger boobs than this broad…. thus mom is clearly more important and attractive….. as boobs being big is most the important thing in judging women.

  22. She really has a well balanced figure.

    The photo and lighting is bad – it is night – that is why her face does not look its best

  23. yes, booobs are number one

    muscularity is also good. two muscular beauties : serena williams and jessica biel.
    WINNER : serena williams
    WHY? her boobs are bigger!! plain in simple….. that is most important,
    all that counts.

  24. sportsdvl

    Her gigantic tits are where her “stupid juice” is kept to fuel that tiny brain of hers.


    i saw a homeless woman today with boobs to her knees! way hotter than this chick… the homeless woman smelled like piss and garbage, but clearly better than anything in hollywood… due to her large breasts ( all that counts, most important)

  26. No Fan of Jessica

    Jessica’s knees are red from begging John Mayer to come back to her. She must have seen the recent picture of John Mayer and his new lover at the Dave Matthews concert at the Hollywood Bowl. And Nick and Vanessa are cozy and happy. The jokes on Jessica ha!

  27. boobs, meh

    they are nice, but i see what you are getting at ( 21, 26 )

  28. Jamie

    Since Jessica lost weight; her boobs shrunk, so now she is wearing a padded push up bra ha! She does not have her usually deep cleavage because of weight loss.

  29. Classy not Trashy

    Jessica looks like a Las Vegas hooker with her breasts and bra exposed like that. She should have wore a little top underneath to make her look classy and not trashy.

  30. NOT a DD

    this is NOT a 36 DD like she claims…… this is a clear 34 D.
    and so what, most women have boobs. a lot of women who are ugly and fat and weird looking have bigger boobs than this, it doesn’t make them hot. boobs aren’t the most awesome or important. sorry.

    big ones are hot on hot women… but not too big where they hang too low, too many stretch marks, or are soo big they take away from a woman’s shape.

  31. Terri

    I like the dress because it is great for going on vacation and covering up the tummy bulge from vacation over eating, but I would wear a little strappy top underneath so I look sexy but not whorish.

  32. yerstupid

    31- how the fuck is it sooooooooooo clear to you what her bra size is? idiot.

  33. Samantha

    She lost weight and looks like a 34B because she does not have much cleavage; even with a padded push up bra.

  34. This is boring. If I wanted to look at boobies I’d look in a mirror or something. It’d have to be a pretty big mirror, though, cause my boobies are like HUGE!!!!

    Hey veggi, there’s some brandy up in the cupboard in the coffee brak room. I can hook you up.

  35. Mandy

    if you have been in a long term relationship where you bought lingerie for your gf, or are a woman, i think you could tell her bra size.
    she is a small girl, so she is likely 34 inches around and not 36.
    im a 34 c and boobs dont look that much smaller
    a DD is VERY large. hers are not.
    this is like if you saw a fat person, you would say that are a siz 22 not a 4… etc.
    not rocket science.

  36. The best part of wakin’ up!

  37. We Women Know Bra Sizes

    My breast size go up and down like Jessica when gaining and losing weight. Us women know about bra sizes. She looks like a 34B right now. I do not know bra sizes once they get into the double letter like DD, but usually porn stars and strippers wear the double letter bras. Like someone posted earlier, Jessica was never a DD, but more like a full C or D cup.

  38. maybe she is....

    i think they look more full than 34 B. MAYBE should could wear a full cover 34C, but in a demi 34C she would likely have the double bubble.
    her frame is very small though, maybe a 32 D??

  39. George

    Boobs-a-lot = Jock-a-lot

  40. I agree #31

    you make a valid point. #26, i also saw a homeless woman today with bigger boobs. i guess thats what you get for living in the city.

  41. Yazoo

    She’s so prittay, oh so prittay….(boom, boom, boom, boom) VACANT!!!!!

  42. my comment

    All boobs aside, WTF is that woman behind her wearing?

    A thigh-length cowl neck sweat schmatta, UNDER a blazer? With leggings?

    Who dresses these people in LA? Ringling Bros. Circus?

  43. Oops, i crapped my pants!

    Ladies, Ladies!! Why are writing about bras when we could be writing about boobs? Now lets focus on what truly import here…Boobs. Now I like boobs because I can’t think of anything wrong with them. Discuss.

  44. Josh

    “a lot of women who are ugly and fat and weird looking have bigger boobs than this, it doesn’t make them hot. boobs aren’t the most awesome or important. sorry.

    big ones are hot on hot women… but not too big where they hang too low, too many stretch marks, or are soo big they take away from a woman’s shape.”

    you are right.

  45. You must look directly into her tits if you want to communicate with her.

  46. my comment

    No way in hell she’s a 34B.

    She’s at least a D. Absolutely bigger than a C.

  47. hey #16

    i just looked up a picture of sherri sheperd, her boobs are bigger than jessica’s. i guess that means she is the hotter of the two to the Fish.

  48. Boobs are just great toys. Fun for the whole family.

  49. #47

    she is a small D, but I agree a D. a 32 or 34 D ( cause she is thin and petite ).

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