Jessica Simpson’s beer ad assaults both the mind and liver

Jesus, that was fast. Here’s the first of presumably many ads featuring Jessica Simpson as the new face of Stampede Light Plus beer. I gotta be honest, this campaign is already headed towards epic FAIL. Everyone knows you can’t sell beer without bikinis. Did the Ten Commandments teach us nothing? Here’s the text for anyone that’s interested and has a high tolerance for dumb:

I work out and take care of myself. But I also like a cold beer once in a while. That’s why I made a smart choice with a smart beer. Stampede Light, it’s beer plus.

Beer plus what? Kittens? A Wii? Hot sauce? Wait, look who I’m asking. Anyway, I highly doubt these are Jessica Simpson’s true feelings on Stampede Light. In fact, here’s her initial reaction:

“If Tony Romo leaves me, I’ll kill myself! GLUG GLUG GLUG! This tastes like Flintstone vitamins and piss – Hit me again. I don’t care how many I drank! I’m the spokesperson I threw up in my cowboy hat and now I wanna drive the truck. Beep! Beep!”

NOTE: Pic links to larger version in case you like hay and/or the faint allusion of cleavage.