Jessica Simpson without cleavage makes the Baby Jesus cry

October 8th, 2007 // 71 Comments
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Jessica Simpson decided to wear a dress that didn’t display her superhuman rack. Why she would do something like that, I dunno. Clearly she takes sick pleasure in making grown men cry. Well, I won’t give her the satisfacti…. sniff… No, dammit. Be strong. Don’t let her get to you. But, seriously, where are her boobs? Where?! Oh God, someone get the Kleenex. Here come the tears. Better make it a big box. This is going to be a long one.


  1. Habitual Line Stepper

    #50 I think a crazed red assed baboon jumped up and bit her nose.

  2. Steph

    I actually think she looks pretty in these pics. The dress may be hag-a-riffic but she pulls it off and doesn’t look like a cheap slut (which she usually does)

    Props to her for wearing something that doesn’t show off her boobs. She is actually a very pretty girl and still is without a huge rack IMHO. She may not be too bright a bulb, but I think that women exude so much class and taste when they don’t go out with their boobs floppin around. KUDOS

  3. She looks like Ivana Trump. Maybe it is going to be a new “classy” Jessica?

  4. mandi

    I for one am glad that she is finally covering up. She usually looks like a huge hunk of ham bursting out of a poorly fitting piece of shit dress. She looks good here, bravo.

  5. kelly

    both sleeves are missing a button. WTF? i mean there’s a hole for the button so why the lack of button?

  6. lulu

    SHE LOOKS GREAT. THANK YOU FOR NOT DRESSING LIKE A SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. yoda

    Wow, when’d her back get so… long?

  8. KatiePie

    You don’t always have to show cleavage to look good. I think Jessica Simpson looks very elegant here. The color looks great against her skin tone too.

  9. T

    She’s gorgeous, frig ya’ll.

  10. veggi

    @#48: It isn’t time to be huffing jenkem yet, you’re early.

    The only kind of troll I like is one that makes me huff jenkem and worship Satan, like the troll I asked to write this post for me!

    Mmmm . . . Oh how I love the troll that wrote this post for me! I just want to suck him and fuck him all day and all night long!!! : )

  11. Jillia

    There is such thing as a happy median between “school teacher from the 1800s” and the “desperate divorcee slut in that trashy garb” look. Something elegant, with a hint of cleavage showing through. A “less is more” kind of thing. She looks like she took some fashion advice from a Mennonite .

  12. I made her cover up her cleaveage after I left a shit load of cum between those double D’s. God that bitch gives the best tit fuck.

  13. nice strking blue dress!!

  14. FACE

    She is a beautiful woman. The childish poeple here that wantto say otherwise are not worth the space.

  15. Haroof

    She looks effin great.

  16. Extreme Team

    #61
    You have a good point. Jessica does one extreme to the other.

  17. BunnyButt

    61, I was thinking the same thing about the happy median, except I thought she took fashion tips from some Mormons (vs. Mennonites). Either way, this look is frumpy and matronly. Rather than flashing her assets, she’s trying for sophisticated, but went to the other extreme instead. You don’t have to dress either like a hobag or a compound member, there’s a wide range in between that would be more flattering and fashionable. Geez, at the very least she needs some accessories. Jessica, give me a call, I’ll take you shopping and we’ll have you looking sophisticated and understatedly sexy in no time.

  18. Agnostic and Happy

    I’ve seen it over and over again. Christian/Religious girls want to please Jesus and their parents so they dress conservatively. And then they grow up and want to make up for lost time, so their forget their religious beliefs and dress like whores and porn stars. I’ve seen this happen with Jehovah Witnesses, Catholics, Christians, and Mormons.

  19. whatever!

    Whatever. What’s wrong with a little modesty for once? She looks beautiful and classy. And we all know it.

  20. finally

    She finally looks classy. This is the best she’s looked in a long time.

  21. Gloria

    she is so beautiful ,i like her very much. but someone saw she is on adating site called sugarcupid.com, is she lonely?

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