Jessica Simpson without cleavage makes the Baby Jesus cry

October 8th, 2007 // 71 Comments
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Jessica Simpson decided to wear a dress that didn’t display her superhuman rack. Why she would do something like that, I dunno. Clearly she takes sick pleasure in making grown men cry. Well, I won’t give her the satisfacti…. sniff… No, dammit. Be strong. Don’t let her get to you. But, seriously, where are her boobs? Where?! Oh God, someone get the Kleenex. Here come the tears. Better make it a big box. This is going to be a long one.


  1. jrzmommy

    FIRST! you oozing cunt sores!

  2. veggi

    second you ATM cum guzzlers.

  3. veggi

    You know, Britney’s house was broken into and lots of stuff stolen, and we are talking about the lack of jessicas boobs. l a m e.

  4. veggi thinks her troll is beautiful!

    #2- god hates you. hahaha! Take THAT!

  5. Mike

    Jimbo usually has Kleenex. But watch out because the box is always sticky.

  6. lola

    SHE DONT KNOW HOW TO DRESS I CAN DRESS BETTER THEN HER AND I WORK AT WAL MART

  7. Jessie

    A boob was robbed, and we are robbed of boobs. Circle of life.

  8. jeemybeen

    uhh did she get a boob job? fuckin dumb whore blonde

  9. Rick

    LOL #1 & #2, you’re quite a team!

  10. 1MILF Hunter

    We know she has a fine rack. She needs to share it with us. So selfish of her to be so covered up.

  11. veggi

    9- It’s not a team. It’s a one man band. And by one man band, I mean someone who thinks that we are celebrating columbus day because jesus came over on the mayflower 100 years ago.

  12. Brenna

    I think she looks more awesome than she has in a long time. The fact that you are so obsessed with the fact that she is hiding her ginormous boobs, means that her stylist is working his proper mojo. :)

  13. emert

    where are her boob? dude they’re RIGHT THERE. in the words of the wise Papa Joe “You just can’t cover those suckers up!”

  14. Echard Lenard

    She is actually looking really good for once! Wowaweewaaa!

  15. squeeze

    She’s so purdy. She’s like a mini Faith Hill.

  16. bone daddio

    if you put a bag over that meh face, I’d lick her from stem to stern!

    juicy!

  17. i'm not paranoid

    So as we contemplate another great story here…back to the Britney break in. It’s being reported – maybe bullshit, who knows – that only personal items were stolen, not high-value stuff like jewelery. So they took pictures and tapes and clothing, supposedly. Inside job? Britney’s idea to get her sex tapes out, given that her stripper video is being ridiculed? Remember, like the equally lardy Fat Bastard, she’s quite convinced that she’s dead sexy.

  18. Randa

    Jessica looks pretty good, when she picks out a nice dress and puts a lot of care into the tuck-back.

  19. lux

    She looks good. I love the vintage look.

  20. grinqaulla

    nice chin. definitely have to land a multi-punch combination to put her down.

  21. She looks like a school teacher from the 1800s. Stick to showing off the cleavage Jessica.

  22. Erin

    She looks really great here — way better than when she lets her puppies hang all out. She always seems so “desperate divorcee” in that trashy garb. She needs to dress like this more often.

  23. ssdd

    Well I see Daddy Joe still prowling in her background… all he can hear or see is $$$$ … its a fucking shame this man could not find a job on his own without depending on his daughters to keep him wealthy. What a fat fucking loser dickhead.

  24. I think she’s really pretty, as long as she takes care of herself. When she gets too scrawny her chin is terrifying, and when she gets too fat, well, she’s fat. She looks really good here though. I can’t be sad about the lack of cleavage because I like boy, but I can respect that sadness!

  25. PunkA

    This place is crawling with Trolls. How and where do you get one?? Trolls ‘R Us?

    Jess looks very average in this.

  26. She looks very pretty. That is probably the mood she was in.. PRETTY, not so much Sexy.

    The royal voilet dress goes perfectly with her peaches and cream complexion and classic blonde hair.

  27. marme

    Naw she looks a hell of alot better than she did when she was dating that douche bag john mayer.

  28. Habitual Line Stepper

    Fuck Jessica Simpson, and fuck you all. You’re all acting like a bunch of queens and pussies. Write like you’ve got a pair for the love of God. Get rude, or get lost.

  29. rofl, I love when people say celebrities don’t look that great even though they’ve probably been botoxed and microdermabrasioned and weaved and styled and makeuped (that is a word) within an inch of their lives. I mean, I see beautiful girls all the time, but they still don’t look as shiny and pressed as even the more average looking celebs. Unless it’s your life, who the hell has the time and the money to bother with that shit.

  30. Don’t be bitter 28. We are all full of hate, but it’s better to save up.

  31. veggi thinks her newest troll is the MOST beautiful!!!

    You will receive your newsletter soon, veggi! Care to huff jenkem, worship Satan?

  32. hegadeth

    Jess, beware the wonky-eyed, spikey haired dyke in pic 10. She’s puttin a spell on you.

  33. Joboo

    While she’s dumber than my dog, she looks good. Sexy surely doesn’t mean having to beat everyone over the head with it. Not that most of the dingleberries here would know.

  34. veggi ADORES her newest troll & shits on the old one!!!

    veggi’s old troll eats turds!!!

  35. veggi WORSHIPS her newest troll & shits on the old one!!!

    veggi’s old troll lives in a turd hut and eats turds!!! veggi’s old troll wants veggi’s newest troll to take a dump in his mouth!!!

  36. veggi

    OMG! I so love my new troll! He’s just the best!!!

  37. Sara Lee

    I’m not a fan of Jessica, but I think she looks classy in her blue dress. There is plently of clevage to see in Southern California; especially in the OC and LA.

  38. Veggi troll 2.0

    I’m the latest and greatest troll. If any of you bitches want to step to this, I’m your huckleberry. You fools are about to be wasting your money on medical bills. Suck me.

  39. ksted

    Best she’s looked in a LONG time. And she does, she looks absolutely fabulous.

  40. Mattygirl

    Is it me or does she look scary? Like a wax figurine.
    creeepy.

  41. I see boobs, they’re just not thrust up under her nostrils. It makes quite a refreshing change to see her looking nice instead od deperate for once.
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  42. Oh my God. She’s gone cellibate!

  43. Top 10 Ways to Make Jessica Simpson Useless

    And the #1 way to make Jessica Simpson Useless……..”put her in a shitty blue dress that shows no cleavage” (applause)

  44. slow news day fish????

    go to my site if you want so real stories…

  45. Jen

    She looks really pretty like this

  46. veggi

    I love the troll at #31, #35 & #36; shit on all the others!!! ; )

  47. veggi

    Bullshit # 47. Troll #39 is an ass kicking machine. #39 would kick Bruce Lee’s sorry ass (dead or alive).

  48. *******

    What’s wrong with her nose? I mean, I know she has a funky nose but it looks like she’s trying to cover up something?

    *******

  49. No one

    Yes #49 i saw that on her nose in Pic2. It looks like coverup was put over a patch of something on her nose. Her nose does look different maybe she got a nose job.

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