Jessica Simpson poses for the latest issue of Vanity Fair whose editors apparently decided to employ more digital effects than goddamn Transformers. Literally, I’m amazed Michael Bay isn’t standing between Jessica’s breasts demanding something blows up in slow motion. Besides her career that is. HIYO!
Thanks to SaraDevil who shot both Han and Greedo first.
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gab17 | May 5, 2009 at 11:03 pm
niceee first
Reach | May 5, 2009 at 11:09 pm
she looks like a cross breed of a mule and a wild pig
it’s actually pretty funny how she doesn’t have an inkling of natural beauty…
Rich | May 5, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Gab17 – Get a life and learn how to spell!!!!
Kim | May 5, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Is it me or is she tryin’ to look like Eva Mendes?
twhite | May 5, 2009 at 11:24 pm
i kinda think she looks like Bridgette Bardot in the fifth one.
bobs your uncle | May 5, 2009 at 11:26 pm
man jaw has a man jaw
Cheeky Chic | May 5, 2009 at 11:31 pm
The cover has definitely been “helped” but as for the other pics: with a good stylist and a good photog it isnt hard to make anyone look thin. Notice how you rarely see her arms fully exposed and the only time you really see a full body shot she is in a black outfit? Hmmmm…..coincidence? NOT!!!
Keri | May 5, 2009 at 11:43 pm
lol she looks like britney circa crazy bald stage in pic # 7
Rachel | May 5, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Well I don’t care what any of you say – I think she’s hot and I’d do her.
Huckleberry Hashimoto | May 5, 2009 at 11:46 pm
I’d hit it
:banana:
lola | May 5, 2009 at 11:51 pm
I never said she was fat. The corporate controlled media did and it sure distracted a lot of people from important issues
Rachell | May 6, 2009 at 12:02 am
Wow, I can’t believe how thin she looks with strategic lighting, posing, the selection of a few shots from rolls and rolls of film and airbrushing! She sure showed us! btw- she still looks big :P
gerard vandenberg | May 6, 2009 at 12:31 am
read: MORE FLESH & FAT ON THE BONES, folks!!
jacy | May 6, 2009 at 12:35 am
most annoying and talentless bitch ever. does she ever shut her mouth… and her jawline is the hybrid cross of herman munster and heidi montag.
X | May 6, 2009 at 12:55 am
Can’t photoshop away fatpits.
Lindsay | May 6, 2009 at 1:01 am
She sure is wearing a LOT of clothing. Like, robes and shit. My grandma looks thin in a robe. JK i don’t have a grandma.
Fun Online | May 6, 2009 at 1:06 am
Looking Gorgeous
For More Click on My Name :)
CATHY R | May 6, 2009 at 1:11 am
JESSICA IS FUCKING UGLY.FUGLY&FAT. JESSICA IS A FUCKING WHORE,SLUT,BITCH AND CUNT. I FUCKING HATE HER. DUMB BLONDE.
CATHY R | May 6, 2009 at 1:13 am
JESSICA IS A WHORE,SLUT,BITCH AND CUNT. JESSICA IS FAT,FUGLY&UGLY.
Megan | May 6, 2009 at 1:24 am
#16 Lindsay -
That last bit cracked me the fuck up for some reason.
Anyway, it’s easy to look thinner with more clothes, loads of lighting, and weird positions that stretch out parts of your body. Oh, and photoshop. Mass amounts of photoshop.
i wish | May 6, 2009 at 1:28 am
shes so beautiful i wish i looked like her.
shelby | May 6, 2009 at 1:39 am
ha her arm in the third picture is a joke
dayyyyuuuum | May 6, 2009 at 1:45 am
#21 if you’re a male just put on a dress and you’ll be halfway there
Donkey Dongey Dong | May 6, 2009 at 2:08 am
God…when will this dumb, talentless, vapid, and yes, FAT whore just GO AWAY???
Jess – Go back to wearing Grand Ole Opry dresses and singing country music at chili cookoffs. Oh, that’s right; the country crowd hated you too.
Go blow your father. Again.
That is all.
Bo | May 6, 2009 at 2:19 am
the wonders of photoshop
AmstraD | May 6, 2009 at 2:29 am
Thank you Photoshop !
kitty says | May 6, 2009 at 3:01 am
The superficial: criticizing the media’s manipulation and distortion of the female image while upholding and worshipping the media’s manipulation and distortion of the female image!!!
smarg | May 6, 2009 at 3:39 am
Poor thing. She turned minimal talent and a nice body into celebrity-hood, with the helo if her svengali father. I guess she’s like Jen Anniston, tho, with men…her pussy must stink really bad or something cause she can’t keep a man. Romo is letting her stick around for now, but I’m sure he’ll ditch her when he gets a trade-up opportunity.
the world according to ROUGH! | May 6, 2009 at 7:13 am
Why wont Joe put her in a 2piece, if he want to dispel rumors shes fat?
Clever Metaphor | May 6, 2009 at 7:25 am
Dude, I don’t care what anyone says, i’d hit it so hard if you pulled me out you’d be the King of England.
bert | May 6, 2009 at 7:37 am
^^^^ what she said ^^^^
hoteles | May 6, 2009 at 7:46 am
Not bad fotos.
sooooo.... skinny | May 6, 2009 at 7:52 am
Wow, she looks great. Love the classy vintage shots.
Photo-edited or not, there is nothing bad to be said about these pictures.
sooooo.... skinny | May 6, 2009 at 7:55 am
Wow, she looks great. Love the classy vintage shots.
Photo-edited or not, there is nothing bad to be said about these pictures.
RichPort's Ghost | May 6, 2009 at 8:17 am
Do you hear that flushing sound? That’s the echo from her career going down the toilet some time about 18 months ago…
XX | May 6, 2009 at 8:55 am
These photos are obviously BEFORE she got heavy.
Whogivesafuck | May 6, 2009 at 9:04 am
I’d treat her like a plastic fuck doll!
Galtacticus | May 6, 2009 at 9:16 am
These are some pretty neat looking pictures.
Gando | May 6, 2009 at 9:20 am
These photos give her an upgrade.How about some memory training next?
Darth | May 6, 2009 at 9:24 am
Yeah,i’d remember you can train your memory.What was the name of the training again?
LPB | May 6, 2009 at 9:29 am
Not too bad, really. When has anyone EVER done a spread like this that wasn’t “re-touched”? And yes, believe it or not, they always only use the best stuff.
But, that outfit in the cover shot looks weirdly “shopped” below the belt line. Like it’s some kind of fiberglass shell skirt; like Dale Ardor would wear in Buck Rogers or something.
Boogeyman King Dong | May 6, 2009 at 9:34 am
I like her spread.She has good face for photography.
Nero | May 6, 2009 at 9:37 am
She looks a kinda cute on the spread.
There, I said it | May 6, 2009 at 9:43 am
Waaayyy downmarket for Vanity Fair.
Deacon Jones | May 6, 2009 at 9:56 am
FAILED
yup | May 6, 2009 at 10:02 am
she looks fine. leave this girl alone.
Tee | May 6, 2009 at 10:08 am
Listen, I’ll be the first one to admit this chick has no talent (and has been photoshopped to the hilt), but those of you calling her fat and ugly, etc, better look like Brad Pitt or Megan Fox to have the balls to put Jessica’s looks down.
And those of you who have called her a slut or a whore: how does she even qualify in a world filled with Britneys, Lohans, Hiltons, and Madonnas? Jessica doesn’t even register on the slut scale.
That being said, I wish Jessica would just marry some rich guy from Texas and settle down, go away, and have babies.
Melanie | May 6, 2009 at 10:34 am
I think she looks gorgeous.
Yup | May 6, 2009 at 10:42 am
She’s holding her mouth almost closed, almost pursed in most of these shots. It’s not hot. She is trying so hard. So far there has been up to at least 15 ‘projects’ just like this that went totally wrong/fail. The grand ol opry, the sister blowing it on SNL, the divorce and subsequent failure to replace someone as ‘good’ as nick lachey (how hard is that? not hard), the ridicule over her outfits/fatness, I could go on but I do have a life outside of my guilty pleasure of ripping celebs here. I like #47. Just marry some nobody rich dude or chick and get lost. Your so boringly uninteresting except to rip on.
Tony romo is a bobble head.
Maximus | May 6, 2009 at 11:04 am
That 7th pic is breathtaking.
Whether or not the woman in the pic actually exists in that form in real life is up for debate, but if she does exist, she’s incredibly hot.