Jessica Simpson, what in the hell?!

January 25th, 2009 // 525 Comments

Jessica Simpson performed at the 99.9 Kiss Country 24th Annual Chili Cook Off in Florida yesterday, and I think I speak for everyone when I say “JESUS CHRIST BALLS!” I understand she’s jealous of Ashlee’s baby, but someone needs to tell Jessica you can’t eat yourself pregnant before she has a coronary. Tony Romo, I’m looking at you, and yes, you’re gonna lose a finger.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Massa'

    I’d still hit that fat shit. She really needs to taste her own shit off the end of my cock. And she’d look better with one eye glued shut after she sucks my shit covered dick and gets a nice reward of ball batter all over her bloated face…….that’s right bitches, suck your own shit off that prick!

  2. Skip

    I don’t think she’s “fat,” that is just a really bad outfit. Compare her size to real women you know. She’s not fat.

  3. Paul

    What’s the problem? I mean aside from the hideous jeans all I see is one sexy mama. Tony Romo must be having the time of his life playing with those huge titties and hitting that ass. Who gives a shit if your football career is in the tank if you can come home and play with Jessica every day? If you can’t appreciate a woman with a little extra meat on her bones you have problems. Real men will take this over some skinny, nasty, coke sniffer like Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton or those hideous Olsen twins ANY DAY.

  4. CakeSniffer


  5. truuskie

    I think she looks fab! I think she finally looks like the utter trailer trash bimbo she really is! Keep piling them on, girl!

  6. GG1000

    I think all that collagen she keeps getting shot into her lips headed south to spawn. Good grief.

  7. Nique

    N A S T Y
    What happenend?!
    White trash absolutely riduclous flabby fugly waahhhh
    Speechless now

  8. Nique

    N A S T Y
    What happenend?!
    White trash absolutely riduclous flabby fugly waahhhh
    Speechless now

  9. uncurled

    okay……she’s effing FAT!!! if you’re trying to convince us otherwise you’re probably a big fat heffer too.
    and….number 11…….I weigh 125, and I’m a size 2. you are DELUSIONAL!

  10. Newcastle

    She probably hasn’t gained much weight at all. Look at her arms and face, no extra weight there. Hick clothes like the jeans she is wearing makes even thin girls look like shit. I live in Texas and see enough of them to know this.

  11. David Becks

    All that weight Lindsay Lohan lost

    …Jessica Simpson found it.

  12. another one bites the dust

    EWWWWWWWW see this is what she is supposed to look like as a typical fat boobed girl, but with Hollywood comes pressure to actually look good. 99.9% of girls with huge booobs are natural fatties, they just attract fat, you can’t often have giant blobs of fat and have a propensity towards being slim with little effort, girls with big boobs have to work much much harder to be thin, it’s her body type. I mean that is absolutely not an excuse, she’s porked out and it’s nasty she looks 45, it’s just the fact that hollywood has gotten men to think that big boobs can very often come on tight little toned boddies. Nope. Reality is tight toned boddies are hot and big booobs are hot so Hollywood took the best of both worlds and smushed them together and said this is what you have to look like so thin tight girls had to get implants and chubby big boobed girls had to live off lean protein and hardly eat.

  13. ferod

    Daddy’s little girl is a woman now.

  14. Shouldn't she be bounty hunting with the Dog

    Ugh every day she looks more and more like Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife… What’s her fat??? Oh right her name is Beth Mcfattyboobsfatbountyhunterwhitetrashingson

  15. big boobs guarantee eventual superfatness

    #63. Actually she’s about 3 women now and one of them is definitely the white Mrs. Buttterworth and the other is Betty Crocker.

  16. Ali

    Is that Blair from The Facts of Life?

  17. Dee

    She is prone to weight gain, you can just tell the way she’s built. The caked on makeup and horrible outfit are making her look terrible. You can also see years of styling damage to her hair, and the collagen. She should try to go more natural, this look is not good.

  18. Dee

    “Everyone is just jealous!!”

    Sorry, no.

  19. Marcy

    Is it just me, or does she look like Dog The Bounty Hunter’s wife?

  20. bmurphy72


  21. bootlips

    Anna Nicole Smith returns.

  22. namaste73

    Maybe she is PREGNANT? Would it be okay for her to weigh more then? I know it is funny to make cracks at her, but we all need to think about what that really perpetuates in the universe. At this point it is not an overstatement to say that Anorexia is now officially sponsored by Hollywood.

  23. p0nk

    “Now, three to three, ye stand. Commend the murderous chalices! Bestow them, ye who are now made parties to this indissoluble league…. Drink, ye harpooneers! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat’s bow — Death to Moby Dick! God hunt us all, if we do not hunt Moby Dick to his death!”

  24. testing

    so this isnt for an Anna Nicole Smith bio-pic or anything?

  25. Dee

    #72, while I agree about the anorexia stuff she is not helping herself with the outfit and overdone makeup.

  26. sva1994

    I really don’t care about her weight one weigh or the other (Oops! I meant one WAY or the other), since I’m not a fan of her music, and an overweight person myself, but seriously, couldn’t she be a bit more patient about how she goes about eating? In the pics in which she’s just walking across the shot and not singing, it looks like portions of her last meal are smeared across her tank top!

  27. AndrewMacCloud

    Well, she sure looks like a COW(-girl) right now..

    So , at least one thing of her new country lifestyle is a Great Succes!

  28. dude_on

    Romo will jettison that like a dump pass on a full blitz.

  29. DC

    eh, better than lindsays look

  30. Florencia

    Es obvio que algo engordo pero lo peor de todo esto es su ropa! Tiene esta mujer un asesor de imagen? Si lo tiene que lo reemplace por uno mejor y si no que vaya buscando alguno. Que mal le queda el tiro alto!!! Le hace el culo aplastado y alargado y ensima se le suben los rollos por la espalda.

  31. James B

    horrible clothes but she is still a damn fine looking woman

  32. She’s clearly preggers

    Every bigsister must do what it takes to follow their younger sis, so did Jessie

  33. obesityisking

    Ok- for all of you who are saying “compare her to other women you know- she’s not fat”… Over half the people in the country are overweight- and in the South, obesity is a freaking viral epidemic, so comparing her to “real” women you know still does not excuse her for BEING OVERWEIGHT. Ten bucks says if you busted out some calipers on her, she’d definitely be in the “overweight” range for her height and build according to her BMI- which is what matters!!

    Oh and those pants are just as awful as her lips.

  34. Rachell

    Yeah I think those pants are DEFINITELY not figure flattering….the sucky thing is, she’s not very tall, so even if she puts on 5 pounds its going to look like a LOT. Plus she tends to pack on muscle when she works out, so that double sucks for her in terms of BULK.

  35. jim

    She’s a porker. Only men with fat mammas like piggies like this.

  36. Vince Lombardi

    RUN!!!! It’s Anna Nicole Simpson.

    (Which, when I type it, make me think she’s going to die of an overdose of pills after a miserable trainwreck of a life on “reality TV,” or her football hero husband will kill her. Since she’s got one of those, I’m going for the latter).

  37. Sam

    Looks like Romo’s done with her and she’s preparing to hook up with one of his black teammates.

  38. CakeSniffer

    Lookit that bloat! Yeeeeeeee-HAW! Gimmie some GRITS! Anna Nicole Smith would be proud.

  39. Meghan

    Now I know where all the weight Britney Spears lost went!!! WTF?!??!

  40. havoc

    Yeah, its the jeans making her rolls of fat come over the top. Her tits are bigger. She has jowls. Her thighs are bigger than Romo’s.

    But yeah, its the jeans….


  41. bean bag

    anyone seen tony romo lately? I think she ate him.

  42. moggie

    Ugh. She is NOT fat, people. It’s called HEALTHY. Everyone on here saying she’s fat must have serious eating disorders. Yeah, she gained a little weight… SO WHAT!? She has been way too skinny in the past…

  43. JPRichardson

    Reminds me of Anne Nicole Smith.

  44. Tinner

    Nice, like someone said: she looks like that friends hot mom you used to have wet dreams about!

    I like it!

  45. Jen

    What in the hell is going on here?

    I mean, the Mom jeans, the belts, the weight-gain but also, my GOD, her FACE!

  46. squirlgal1

    NO ONE should ever where those awful style of jeans. You could put Alessandra Ambrosio in those jeans and even she would look awful. Does Jessica Simpson’s stylist hate her?

  47. Mia

    I am no fan of Jessica but she is wearing an unflattering outfit for her weight gain. She should have wore a girdle with jeans that fit below the waist with a loose top that shows cleavage. Or an a line dress that shows cleavage. Jessica should know better.

  48. Stains Mahoney

    What are those stains on her shirt in pic #15?

  49. Beechum

    Bad choice of outfit, still the juggs look like fun

  50. Stains Mahoney

    What are those stains on her shirt in pic #15? Wow, I remember when she didn’t look like that ONE female Gremlin.

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