Jessica Simpson, what in the hell?!

January 25th, 2009 // 525 Comments

Jessica Simpson performed at the 99.9 Kiss Country 24th Annual Chili Cook Off in Florida yesterday, and I think I speak for everyone when I say “JESUS CHRIST BALLS!” I understand she’s jealous of Ashlee’s baby, but someone needs to tell Jessica you can’t eat yourself pregnant before she has a coronary. Tony Romo, I’m looking at you, and yes, you’re gonna lose a finger.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. tits

    Hefferca Simpson OMG that was so funny

  2. Antonio

    First!
    She’s fat

  3. scabbeus

    This is her best Tonya Harding look!

  4. Red Yuck

    She’s fat but at the same time she kinda looks like your friends hot mom that you secretly masturbated to in middle school.

  5. Me

    She’s definitely put on some weight-but to be fair-that’s a HORRIBLE outfit that would reveal any extra pounds on anyone! And her boobs make her look even bigger up top. Not to mention her overinflated lips!

  6. ???????

    Fat hick bitch. I’d still stuff her like a turkey.

  7. pb

    Mom jeans are nasty!!!

  8. isitin

    Jeans are doing the camel toe thing in Pic # 11. They are trying to wedge into her fat twat.

  9. Noooooooooooo

    Dear lord, is it true?? Are those nasty high waist jeans making a comeback?? I’m gonna miss those t-backs…

    I’d still do nasty things to Jess, although I may need to work out a little more before I can perform some of the more acrobatic sex acts I had planned with her…

  10. Giant Mammers

    I’d still fuck the living shit out of her….lets not pretend any of you can wrangle something hotter…unless you literally wrangle a femanoid into the trunk of your ford tempo

  11. Beth

    Oh come on. It’s just a bad outfit. She is NOT fat. She probably weighs 125 pounds. And you wonder why women think they should binge and purge–you expect all of their bodies to look like that of a peppy young 12 year old boy. Gay! You all must either still be children or wishing you could touch some.

  12. Aanjo

    I’m surprised, either all of these photos are terrible or she actually has let herself go.

  13. Hideous. I used to fap to her all day.

  14. billirubin

    i’m less concerned bout her weight increase…but damn, folks, look at her face. that’s more than just fake lips, she looks like an alien! brrr…

  15. billirubina

    i’m less concerned bout her weight increase…but damn, folks, look at her face. that’s more than just fake lips, she looks like an alien! brrr…

  16. Justin

    Woa, Tomy Romo, there’s an easier way to get your girlfriend to stop bitching about her sister’s baby than booze and food namely, “hey, does this smell like chloroform?”

  17. Julie Ann

    Well…we all put on weight now and again I suppose..but..she’s not someone that can wear it well. And what the crap is up with the jeans and the giant belt and the skin-tight shirt? It just looks awful. The belt pushes up the back fat..everytime she turns to the side in those pics you can see it trying to escape!!

  18. juniper

    surprisingly her butt still looks great. maybe she went on a cheetos binge.

  19. WOW

    “Mr. Plastic Surgeon, please make me look like a fat Fergie.”

    Mission accomplished.

  20. azzman

    id still be dirty with it.

  21. Ariella

    i don’t think she looks fat at all
    i thought you would say something about the mom jeans

  22. fucktwats

    You guys should be ashamed. She’s not overweight compared to the rest of our country. Lay off of her. It’s funny how non-famous act with so much jealousy towards those that are famous. And just because she doesn’t have any hits right now, doesn’t classify her as not being famous.

  23. rm

    No, she’s pretty damn fat. Don’t sugar coat it, she’s just fat.

  24. mrrrrgl

    an unshakable law of the universe: chicks with big tits get fat.

  25. wtf???

    She does look like she put on a little weight, but those pants are not helping hide it at all. Terrible choice in outfit. Someone needs to tell her to but maternity pants AFTER you get pregnant. Maybe she doesn’t care since this is a Chili cookoff after all. And she has Romo millions to spend.

  26. Maria

    WHAT A FAT ASS!!! Porky The Pig…What a Cow!!!!! Yuck, the fat is hurting my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. Maria

    WHAT A FAT ASS!!! Porky The Pig…What a Cow!!!!! Yuck, the fat is hurting my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. IHateFUPAS

    Damn that’s a NASTY FUPA

  29. Fag McHag

    flattering trousers

  30. Joe Simpson

    I’d still hit it like hell, mmmm juicy!

  31. FooPaPa

    @28 GUNT

  32. Bee

    Maybe she got stung by a bee just before performing. Ok… maybe a couple dozen bees?

  33. jeniffer

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    Nice boobs! she surely reminds me of the hot and sexy cougar I once met on ____Agelessdate.c om____ the place where hot cougars and sexy young men;and handsome old folks with sensual chicks meet and mingle! You may wanna check it out!LOL

  34. Big Al

    Looks as if she went back in time and raided my next door neighbors hot mom’s closet and grabbed some jeans.

  35. pol

    Liek most girls form the south, they have a small window of hotness, until they turn fat, bleached and their missing gene count begins to reveal itself.

  36. kingofbeer

    is that food all over her shirt?

    what is that thing she keeps doing with her lips?

    Damn she looked good a few months ago. what happened?

  37. mikey

    it’s so bad she needs TWO BELTS

  38. Maria

    Yeah she needs 2 Belts to HOLD ALL THAT FAT IN>>>>>>>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH>>>>BIG FAT ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  39. Maria

    Yeah she needs 2 Belts to HOLD ALL THAT FAT IN>>>>>>>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH>>>>BIG FAT ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  40. Maria

    Yeah she needs 2 Belts to HOLD ALL THAT FAT IN>>>>>>>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH>>>>BIG FAT ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. Keno

    #34 – sorry to hear you idea of a “hot mom” is a fat, bucktoothed hillbilly in overstuffed jeans. You need to move to a better neighborhood.

  42. Aldo Nova

    I’ve never been so aroused.

  43. Alex

    Well, to be honest she doesnt look fat people, but her face looks seriously bloated, it doesnt go with the rest of the body, according to the face her body should look like Rene Zellweger’s while filming Bridget Jones.

  44. Ummm...yeah...

    The dippy bitch just gained a “few pounds”. She doesn’t look that bad…
    She just looks like the stupid, no talent bitch she is…
    WTF is up with them lips?

  45. Dr. Otto VanDerWahl

    OMG, she found my mom’s Sears Roebuck pants from 1974!?!?

    Wait a second, when did she sneak into my attic?

  46. mrs.t

    Let’s back up a bit: she’s performing at a Chili Cook-Off. In Florida.

  47. melissa

    I think jessica looks fine. all you people on this site who leave nasty comments disgust me. I would love to see what everyone looks like on here. see what kind of comments people make about you. I bet none of you even come close to what she looks like. Everyone is just jealous!!

  48. jt

    this is heartbreaking.

  49. Ali Knievel

    It’s the booze. That’s why her face is so bloated. She’s obviously a miserable drunk now. She used to have that blank hypnotized sex slave look in all her pictures but now she just looks like she hates herself. Somebody needs an intervention.

  50. A Commenter

    Just compare Ms.Simpson with Ms.Miller
    (http://thesuperficial.com/2009/01/marisa_miller_still_wearing_a.php)

    Damn.

Leave A Comment