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Jessica Simpson performed at The Factory last Friday and wore some shorts which showed off her lower butt cheeks. Which would’ve been fantastic two years ago but now she just looks dated and desperate. And that front pouch she’s got going on doesn’t help at all. It looks like she’s hiding a diaper under there. And those shorts look like something a 50-year-old woman would wear if she was asked to dress like a protistute from the early 90′s. This comes to mind.
More of Jessica and her neat shorts after the jump.
JoBOO | August 14, 2006 at 3:04 pm
FIRST — and I’d hit that three times — once in each hole!!!!
MR_DG | August 14, 2006 at 3:04 pm
DAMN!! THATS ALL I HAVE
CelebSlam.com | August 14, 2006 at 3:04 pm
the one word that comes to mind when looking at her is “weathered”
http://www.celebslam.com
diamondprynzez | August 14, 2006 at 3:06 pm
Too bad… she probably put that on and thought ‘Nick will get jealous’
Equalparts | August 14, 2006 at 3:07 pm
The most boring woman alive. She looks like a dwarf. The fact that this woman is a star is only proof at how freakin’ bored as a society we are. Who is convincing her that these outfits are flattering?
BarbadoSlim | August 14, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Who wears mom-shorts?
She wears mom-shorts…
I know daddy likes’em!!
plymouthrock | August 14, 2006 at 3:11 pm
on pic #4 is that sweat coming out of her ass?
ImSuicidal | August 14, 2006 at 3:17 pm
Hey Superfish guy, what’s a “protistute”
You should have given us this story to rag on:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2006-08-14-boy-george_x.htm
Carolicious | August 14, 2006 at 3:19 pm
Meh. At least she looks healthier then some people, ahem, Nicole Richie. She’s got meat, good for her!
gatorbates | August 14, 2006 at 3:23 pm
I’d hit it up … I’d hit it down … I’d hit hanging from the ceiling fan, or with a toaster involved. I’d hit it any which way I could.
PunjabPete | August 14, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Pouch? She is WAY to young to already have a frass. (front ass)
Looks like shizzle. Yo.
gatorbates | August 14, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Is that MEAT hanging out in picture # 7?
I’d swallow that roast beef.
sharkbite | August 14, 2006 at 3:31 pm
So tired of her. Shouldn’t she be like, a D-list celeb by now?
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
ScriptRadar | August 14, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Still sexy.
reenie11 | August 14, 2006 at 3:46 pm
maybe if she would quit hanging out with FAGS she could get laid again. Doesn’t she have any female friends? It seems that the only people around her are paid to be there. But I guess thats what happens when you are as entertaining as she is. Where’s Daddy Joe?
docta | August 14, 2006 at 3:47 pm
oh please. jessica simpson has a great, womanly body. it shocks me how people prefer nichole richie over jessica simpson.
ImSuicidal | August 14, 2006 at 3:52 pm
If she had a “third” breast on back and she’d be the perfect woman.
For dancing!!!!!
LL | August 14, 2006 at 3:53 pm
You’d have an easier time convincing people Jessica’s fat if you didn’t follow her immediately with the frightening skeleton that is now Nicole Richie. Jessica looks OK, just not quite as fit as she has in the past. Clearly, she’s not been keeping up with that “Dukes of Hazzard”/daisy dukes exercise regimen. But wouldn’t you rather gaze at her than Nicole? Damn… big asses beat bony ones any day of the week.
Having said that, the shorts are not flattering (and shorts with heels are never cool, no matter what anyone says). She’s wearing the shorts because the fashion powers that be are trying to force all of us into short shorts and “skinny jeans” so that anyone with an ass wider than Nicole’s will look like a heifer. Mission accomplished!
Spindoc | August 14, 2006 at 3:54 pm
She still around?
RichPort | August 14, 2006 at 3:56 pm
She’s wearing that belt because Nick told her it has her first initial on it.
Jim Treacher | August 14, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Who was the cameraman on #4, Verne Troyer?
Alacran | August 14, 2006 at 3:59 pm
I agree #18, Nicole is Nasty, I’d rather see Jessica Simpson wearing a Mom Jean than what I just saw from Nicole. But I would really love to see Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johanson on a bikini again, summer’s only halfway there, there’s still hope….
DancingQueen | August 14, 2006 at 4:00 pm
Is that a nip slip in the last picture? I think she’s a cute, albeit stupid, girl, but man what a horrid outfit.
BitchyMcBitch | August 14, 2006 at 4:03 pm
NOBODY should wear short shorts. Unles your under twenty and work out regularly. You really shouldn’t bother. I’m not being funny but her hairdresser goes with her everywhere. What is she unable to cross the street without having her hair touched up?
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 14, 2006 at 4:06 pm
Her continued hanging around with her cockloving hair dresser really sends out some bad vibes if she’s trying to get laid again. Any certifiably straight guy, and granted in Hollywood that’s asking alot, would not spend the night being cockblocked by a fag. There’s a certain amount of dignity involved. You can picture the aforementioned hairdresser, intoxicated and horny, saying to any possible suitor of Jessica, “I can suck you longer than she can, big boy. And I make a mean latte in the morning!” How is one to respond to that? Poor Jess, she collects faggots like Lindsay collects STDs.
rlt | August 14, 2006 at 4:08 pm
#11, it’s not a frass. (front ass)
It’s a straight up FUPA (Fat Upper Pussy Area). Those shorts just scream it. Ugh!
reenie11 | August 14, 2006 at 4:12 pm
http://et.tv.yahoo.com/newslink/15447/ here’s something other than Hohan, simpleson or the grim reaper.
The Hoff | August 14, 2006 at 4:18 pm
#10 yup, I’d make it water-tight
KristinMichelle | August 14, 2006 at 4:19 pm
That’s rather unfortunate to wear shorts up to your ass cheeks, four inch heels and your legs STILL look stumpy. I have always sworn that this woman was born with some sort of achrondroplasia. Nothing gets more ridiculous than having your hair stylist follow you to brush the bangs out of your eyes. The worst part about her is the “Come see how good I look!” expression she always sports… What a hag.
Tracie | August 14, 2006 at 4:19 pm
I agree that she’s got to stop hanging around with Ken Paves as a friend and actually let him do his job – which is supposed to be a HAIRDRESSER. Jessica’s hair looks like crap, the outfit is most unbecoming (and polyester?!), and can you image how long it took her in the loo? You have to take the entire stupid outfit off to pee! (Although #7, that may explain your question.)
MicShell | August 14, 2006 at 4:22 pm
Could be a nip slip in the last picture. picture #7 is that a lab hanging out?!
what exactly is going on in the car behind her? Is that an amputee on the floor or what?
Ya’d think with so much time spent with her hairdresser – that her hair would look better.
krisdylee | August 14, 2006 at 4:33 pm
And now I shall play the devil’s advocate…
Perhaps Jessica tragically lost all her mirrors to a mirror thief. Or perhaps, Jessica’s minions grouped together for some kind of practical joke, telling her “Yeah, girl, those shorts are so hot… you look fan-fucking-tastic… Nick will DEFINITELY be crying in his beer tonight…”
ImSuicidal | August 14, 2006 at 4:34 pm
achondroplasia – a-c-h-o-n-d-r-o-p-l-a-s-i-a – achondroplasia
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=achondroplasia
purplepuppy | August 14, 2006 at 4:35 pm
What’s with the waistband being jacked up to her chin. Could you wear you pants any higher, Jess? You should, it’s a great look….old men have been doing it for years, and they are the most fashionable people on the planet. FUCK I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!! I want to scratch her face off!
andrewthezeppo | August 14, 2006 at 4:39 pm
I’m sick of pretending reality TV stars are celebrities…I guess she kinda has music, and kinda made a terrible movie….but come on she’s only famous for her boring show about her crappy marriage to a man that clearly loathed every word that came out of her mouth.
no more Paris, Nicole, Jessica or worst of all those Laguna Beach skanks…they’re boring talentless and all wear the same stupid clothes because they have the same stupid stylist…Rachel Zoe who Allure said single handedly brought back annorexia.
nc72 | August 14, 2006 at 4:40 pm
Much preferable to the couch look…
http://www.exposay.com/jessica-simpson-arrives-at-mtvs-trl—07-19-2006/v/3283/
PunjabPete | August 14, 2006 at 4:41 pm
15 – After the trauma that Joe inflicted, is there really any surprise?
diptutod | August 14, 2006 at 4:44 pm
You know, for a thin woman she sure knows how to make herself look fat.
Jacq | August 14, 2006 at 4:45 pm
She’s got a Paris Hilton-style ass-flap happening.
So now that she’s divorced, she’s a professional fag-hag?
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | August 14, 2006 at 4:57 pm
Do you think she can shake it like a polaroid picture?
HolisticWisdomcom | August 14, 2006 at 4:57 pm
Great body, not the best outfit. It reminds me of the Olivia Newton John outfit in Grease but with the legs cut off way too high. She looks like she needs a cat whip with that out fit.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/bdsm-sm.htm
DMB in da ATL | August 14, 2006 at 5:11 pm
Maybe she thinks if she shows a little ass cheek, no one will notice how FLAT her ass is…
cobra | August 14, 2006 at 5:12 pm
Is that Pam Anderson or Anna Nicole Smith?
Bambib9 | August 14, 2006 at 5:13 pm
Jessica has seen better days, she has a curvy womanly body, and great boobs! However, I can NOT stand this new trend of short ass-revealing shorts, along with the Mischa Barton favorite – the skinny jean! Those should only be worn with boots over them not with ballet slippers…and don’t get me started on those…
BarbadoSlim | August 14, 2006 at 5:23 pm
As old man Jenkins would say: “them’s some nifty fitting pants girlie”
hahahaha, any unfortunate suitors have to unbutton and lower her pants to get some tit action going.
And don’t even get me started on the Papa Joe’s sloppy seconds situation.
diddleysquat | August 14, 2006 at 7:18 pm
She has the ass of a 50 year-old…She’s gotta work on that sh*t.
katydid | August 14, 2006 at 7:32 pm
In totally unrelated news (except both women are blond) – Kate Hudson and her husband have split.
Publicist Brad Cafarelli confirmed that Hudson, 27, and Robinson, 39, had split. He offered no details. The couple, who were married on New Year’s Eve in 2000, have a 2-year-old son, Ryder.
A spokesman for Robinson said he had no comment on news of the separation, which was first reported by People magazine on its Web site.
Italian Stallion | August 14, 2006 at 7:35 pm
@40
Shake it, shake, shake it, shake it (OHH OH)
Shake it, shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, shake it (OHH OH)
Shake it, shake it like a Polaroid Picture, shake it, shake it
Shh you got to, shake it, shh shake it, shake it, got to shake it shake it like a Poloroid Picture
ToiletDuck | August 14, 2006 at 7:37 pm
What a fucking prostitute…
IzzyInATizzy | August 14, 2006 at 7:40 pm
Re: #12 & #31:
BUTT-FLAP/DANGLING-LABIA ALERT CONFIRMED in the 7th picture. It’s amazing how much I’ve learned about anatomy by looking at photos of inappropriately dressed celebs– or rather, how confused I’ve become, because this excess-flesh-in-the-female-groin thing it getting weird (like all those creepy pictures of Paris Hilton).
Maybe these girls are such hos, their genitalia is getting really loose and just sort of falling off the bone at this point. Isn’t that called leprosy or something?