Jessica Simpson wants to be Michelle Obama

May 3rd, 2010 // 76 Comments

Presumably as a visual aid for America’s obesity crisis, Jessica Simpson was invited to the White House Correspondents’ dinner where she told People she wants to be First Lady Michelle Obama:

“I really do,” Simpson told PEOPLE before the White House Correspondents’ dinner in Washington, D.C., Saturday. “She’s such an incredible woman, and she’s with such a powerful man.”
What does Simpson admire most about the First Lady? “Everything she does she exudes confidence,” says the singer.

Considering this is actually the least retarded thing Jessica Simpson has ever said, let’s take a look at her accomplishments compared to Michelle Obama’s:

MICHELLE OBAMA:
Graduate of Harvard and Princeton.
Successful businesswoman and humanitarian.
Married.
Dedicated mother.
Committed to physical fitness.

JESSICA SIMPSON:
Farted in a business meeting once.

It’s like they’re twins!

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Jack Mehoff

    She is definitely a good candidate for a flour roll.

  2. Just a sidenote: beside having farted once in this business meeting, Jessica also has her own wigs collection together with Ken Paves…

  3. Plenty of successful, beautiful and powerful black women around her all day everyday and she ain’t never said she admires them.

  4. John

    What a fucking cow

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  6. iwillneverpassontitsandass

    okay from the front she looks slimmer but when she turns to the side she looks really tubby, it’s odd. or chubby is a good way to explain it too.
    The only thing that’s been good about her weight gain is she finally got some booty. but yeah, the midsection is either not flattered by that dress or she needs to tone it down a little.
    the tits are cool too i guess :)

  7. Fati87

    Okay, I have never used this word on her before but now she leaves me no choice. She is FAT. She is really fat. And she had the nerv to go on Oprah and say that she is a size 4. What, bitch? You are a size 4? I am a size 6 and I could easily fit in one of your fat folds. Disgusting lying idiot.

  8. Nicole

    The dress is making her look fat. She is in shape and not a toothpick. Seriously if this is fat than people have serious body dysmophic issues. She is heavy than she was in the Dukes movie… but then people were saying she was to skinny.. You just can’t win in a Superficial world. Look at her legs.. muscle not fat..

  9. She looks huge in that dress!

  10. Just Too Many

    Started out cute..innocent…had the world in her hands for a while.

    Decided to be a whore and fuck every man around. Now she is just a fat nasty loose lipped 30 over the hill loser that no guy desires. Yea of course we will fuck her for the notch on the wall, but she is absolutely not marriage material or girlfriend material. I have 100 hotter chicks, nicer chicks, smarter chicks, and chicks that are not whores in my subdivision!!! Quit covering this fat ass moo-cow!! Does this fat bitch own a miror any more?

  11. Classic Shot

    Picture 10: That dude’s fucking face is priceless. He is not like, “omg look it is Jessica Simpson” He is more like, “omg what the FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU Jessica Simpson”

    What you do not see is this dude is actually secret service. After the photo this dude freaked out and ran to the stage where Mr. and Mrs Obama were to be sitting to make sure this fat fuck didn’t eat the president’s wife!!

  12. LOL

    Fat, Extremely Dumb, Fucked by every guy in Hollywood, and can’t even get a date…Nice career moves Jess.

    BTW…it was FUCKING FISH IN THE CAN YOU STUPID FAT ASS!!

    Lay off the “chicken of the SEA” until we can all once again SEE past your ass!!
    She is so gross!!! Ugh…look at her nasty ass face and the misery just plastered upon it. Karma is a bitch…………

  13. Michelle Obama

    She only wants to be Michelle Obama so this fat cow can say she fucked the president along with the entire cast of Jackass, the entire Dallas Cowboys roster, every leading man she has ever been in a movie with. Filth.

    She is fat lets not kid ourselves…but really…is she fucking blind?!?!?! She looks a gigantic ear of corn on the cob. But a really stupid, blank, and confused peice of corn on the cob.

  14. ProudandWhiteButBlackIsBeautiful

    To #45

    By your wording, moreso than your chosen handle, I can tell your persuasion, and I quote you here,” You’d need 175 LSAT scores just to qualify, and the LSATs don’t grade based on race.” Just an observation.

    And yes, not to set you off but to correct your inaccuracy, affirmative action does work at the ivy league schools. More so in fact than your average state school. Check for yourself, they are quite liberal with the exception of Princeton, but they all have quotas). If the powers that be want you in position, they will make sure you get there. Obama and company are merely pawns in a new world order. Some will know exactly what I mean by that statement, if you don’t you are already blind.

    To Everyone else…

    Your nasty and negative comments are a demonstration of mankinds depravity. You have nothing but ugly words. Maybe you should look inside.

  15. Lola

    Wow very appalling, no wonder that many young girls are insecure about their bodies and they develop low self esteem and self image issues.
    She is a lot heavier compared to what she used to look before, but she isn’t ugly or morbidly obese.
    Anyone that honestly looks better than her should post their pictures and stfu.

    Compared to the 90 lbs skeletons we see on magazines all the time, i think Jessica looks great, the dress is horrible but she looks good.

  16. black&beautiful

    @65:

    Well Miss White Pride, you get zero points for being able to “tell my persuasion” since I was pretty up front about that. Way to be literate! As a matter of fact, I attended an Ivy League school, and I am extremely familiar with their admissions process and how they admit people. They do NOT have “quotas” — these days, no one does, so stop partying like it’s 1992. They make every effort to diversify their student body JUST LIKE EVERY SINGLE UNIVERSITY IN AMERICA, but that doesn’t mean you can just walk in there if your grades and test scores aren’t up to snuff. Obviously for Michelle Obama, there was no question of her not meeting the rigorous academic standards of a school like Princeton.

    Harvard Law uses an entirely different admissions criteria than the undergrad admissions department. If you CHECK your FACTS you can see for yourself what their minimum LSAT score is for admission. As I’ve said, if you don’t get at least 175, you can pretty much kiss your chances of admission goodbye, unless you applied early and have something else pretty major going for you.

    Do yourself a favor: turn off Glenn Beck and get out of the house once in awhile. An all conspiracy theory diet does NOT do a body good.

  17. Hmm…Michelle looks like a pear…Jessica looks like a jumbo sausage link…

    Jess seems to fluctuate wildly from week to week. Actually I think pic #2 and #16 look pretty good.

  18. mk

    Her size would make my penis look that much smaller. I’d rather be with girls who look like children.

  19. roy

    @ 67

    No way did that tranny Obama get a 175 on her LSAT. Hell, less than 30 black a year even score a 170 on the LSAT (whereas almost 2000 white got that score).

    http://www.jbhe.com/news_views/51_graduate_admissions_test.html

  20. black&beautiful

    Since race reporting isn’t required on the LSAT, I’m gonna go ahead and call bullshit on your little statistics. Envy leads people to do such insane things.

  21. she is beautiful

  22. m65

    ncie color dress

  23. very nice photos

  24. Johnny Feron

    Typical liberal crap and hyprocrisy on this site, fawning all over Mrs. Obama’s “accomplishments” and making a lame insulting joke about how a celebrity woman is a “visual aid for America’s obesity crisis”> I shan’t comment on the First Horse’s (Sorry…First LADY’s) looks, b/c that would be hypocritical of me.

  25. That is not bad.

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