Jessica Simpson wants to be Michelle Obama

May 3rd, 2010 // 76 Comments

Presumably as a visual aid for America’s obesity crisis, Jessica Simpson was invited to the White House Correspondents’ dinner where she told People she wants to be First Lady Michelle Obama:

“I really do,” Simpson told PEOPLE before the White House Correspondents’ dinner in Washington, D.C., Saturday. “She’s such an incredible woman, and she’s with such a powerful man.”
What does Simpson admire most about the First Lady? “Everything she does she exudes confidence,” says the singer.

Considering this is actually the least retarded thing Jessica Simpson has ever said, let’s take a look at her accomplishments compared to Michelle Obama’s:

Graduate of Harvard and Princeton.
Successful businesswoman and humanitarian.
Dedicated mother.
Committed to physical fitness.

Farted in a business meeting once.

It’s like they’re twins!

Photos: Splash News

  1. GiRL

    Umm when did she get so Huge?

  2. bar room hero

    What a slag…

    Look at her blank stare, she is definitely mind controlled/ programmed. Her dad is a major perve also.

  3. Fish dude, You missed Jessica’s great rack. I think bring her even with Michelle

  4. addled

    Love the two ladies in the back gossiping about the size of her ass.

  5. Me

    You know, she still looks really good even if she’s fat. Maybe in a couple years she’ll look disgustingly fat, but this still looks great.

  6. JW

    Don’t understand the nasty comments. She looks damn well proportioned to me–well distributed all over. If I put on any weight, unfortunately, it would all be stuck in one place.

  7. Deacon Jones

    I bet Nick Lachey used to talk her into anal all the time.

    “But it’s good for you, it rasies your metabolism.”
    (brow furrows) “Really?”

  8. JGirl

    What a shame the comments about a nice girl. Yes, she should probably hire a stylist or fire her current one, however Jessica Simpson is not fat. In comparison to other women IN HER INDUSTRY, she’s not the smallest girl out there but most of them are scary thin. She’s a nice girl, she’s not like all the cookie cutter wannabe girls that usually get posted on these sites. Most of all, I would rather look at Jessicas healthy weight and bright smile any day of the week than look at Lindsay Lohans train wreck of a life and body. Gross!

  9. truth

    Ummmmm, Michelle Obama is a total and utter cow. I happened to know her when she worked at a hospital in Chicago. In the years she held the position at the University of Chicago Hospital she showed up to her office less than 10 times during her entire tenure. She was neither dedicated or kind to anyone. Her only concern was her paycheck and working the Chicago political scene to help hubby’s career. So let’s cut out the shit about her being a humanitarian. The only human she’s concerned with is herself, which granted isn’t much different than most people. But that alone dicounts her from being called a humanitarian.

  10. Freebie

    OMG! That’s one ugly dress.

  11. Greg

    Even with a little weight gain…I still think she looks awesome!

  12. justifiable


    She’s “such an incredible woman” because being “with such a powerful man” was never her number one priority, you dimbulb. But I guess being a strong woman in your own right instead of just aspiring to be some guy’s accessory is a foreign concept for Jessica, Papa Joe and Mama S. This is what happens when you never learn to aim any higher than John Mayer and the all-you-can-eat nacho buffet.

    #8 She IS heavy for “the industry” – but since she’s such a godawful actress it probably prevents us from having to see trailers of another direct-to-DVD ripoff of someone else’s successful movie.

    And dressing up like a shiny ruffled stick of butter never flattered anyone – because it pulls across her gut and gives her a shelf where her tits ought to be that dress packs on 20 lbs. all by itself.

    I wouldn’t fire her stylist, I’d bury her in a shallow grave for perpetrating this on us.

  13. oh i know

    I agree with JGirl@#8, Jes needs a new stylist and yesterday!!! She is NOT “huge” nor “fat” , she is a broad-shouldered, short girl with a LARGE chest and it just doesn’t translate well in photos. And compared to the anorexic, drug addicted, gotta go barf my jello up chicks that we’re usually looking at– I’d take Jes (even in a yellow frock!!) anyday!!

  14. the EPA

    She is a giant stick of butter and off camera is her boyfriend Pop ‘N Fresh. They live together in buttery harmony

    I’m just kidding of course, there is no way a fat cow like that has a boyfriend.

  15. Anonymous

    Somewhere Tony Romo is thanking his lucky stars.

  16. Kangaroo

    RE: “she is a broad-shouldered, short girl with a LARGE chest and it just doesn’t translate well in photos.”

    It’s NOT just big tits and shoulders.

    She thick around the middle like a truckstop waitress.

    She’s not hideous, just a solid 6/10.

    On a good day she’d be the hottest girl at Dairy Queen.

  17. Samantha


  18. kai

    lol @ all the fat girls, “OMG but she’s not fat!” i don’t have a fraction of all the money and time she’s got for exercise and nutrition (and i am only five-one) but i would never let myself go like that! she’s disgstusting

  19. ......

    But…her face is still gorgeous and I’d kill for her boobs.

    Fuck you guys I bet you’re all fatties with no jobs who fap to the pictures posted here anyways.

  20. GiRL

    #18, I’m 5’1 too, and I agree with your comment.

    HELLO everyone defending this, making excuses for her dress:

    PIC #13 reveals a huge double chin which is just not healthy at all. I bet if she hopped on a scale, she would be clinically obese.

  21. missywiss

    umm.. Fish your Michelle Obama portfolio forgot spokeswoman for New World Order / Illuminati. Cover of Vogue, meeting with the Queen, pictures do not lie. She is a representative. A good one. Damn, she fooled Jessica Simpson!

  22. Tek

    Has she gained weight? Yeah, but it has gone mostly to her already huge tits. So what’s not to like? Seriously this is just a case of a dress not complimenting her figure at all. All you have to do is check out how she looked on the Tonight Show last week and see that she’s still got it.

    And yeah, she says a lot of dumb shit in the vid. It wouldn’t be Jessica Simpson if she didn’t. ^_^

  23. Tiger Woods

    Title Should Read ” Jessica Simpson ate Michelle Obama “

  24. Jon

    lol Bravo, this one I actually laughed at the text. Bravo.

  25. Jon

    Wow, I didn’t even look at the pictures at first. But now seeing these comments, I agree..

    She’s chunky!

  26. Rex Kramer-Danger Seeker

    Where is Curious George?

  27. I guarantee you #18 and #20 would never post a pic. Sad little skanks.

  28. Sam A

    C’mon!!! Why the hell would anyone say Jessica Simpson is the face of the obesity crisis? Thats just offensive. I watch my neighbor struggle with anorexia everyday. She makes Kate Bosworth look like a fucking whale. Everyone grow up…

  29. Do_FreeBird

    For you folks old enough to remember, I have only two words to say; Delta Burke.

  30. GiRL

    “Alli Watermelon” … I mean… I don’t even know what to say. Thanks for posting your picture because it allowed me to see why you’d be defensive of Jessica Simpson.

  31. J Simp

    I love Jessica she looks hot and sexy here.

  32. Sarah

    holllllllllly plastic surgery! her face is terrible, why do YOUNG women think they need plastic surgery?? she could def stand to hit the gym a little ouch, she used to be so hot

  33. dude

    from the front she looks great. from the back she looks great. from the side….? ugh not too good…

  34. SOS

    I think her outfit is SO unflattering! But the color on her is nice. The way her dress wraps makes her look wide in most of these angles, and she’s certainly not. From the front she looks great. Needs a different dress style next time!

  35. iLUVjessica

    She soo fucking hot… need to get back to showing the whole world her cleavage… yea Jessi baby… Do it for the world.. You can do… Do it for the whole world….

  36. EWW

    This bitch is so fucking fat and disgusting it is not even funny. Why can’t she just go away. She is not famous for anything anymore. She only became relevant again due to the things John Mayer said about her. I hope her fat-ass and Michele Obama’s ugly under-bite/over-bite/whatever the fuck it is will go disappear forever. They are so ugly. One resembles Ms. Piggy and the other looks like the monkey from Planet of the Apes. Seriously, Jessica’s jelly rolls distract me, and Michele’s face does the same.

  37. Kimberly

    That’s ridiculous! There is no way in hell Jessica Simpson can be Michelle Obama. She can’t turn herself black then, through affirmative action, get into Harvard and write her thesis on how hard it is to be black in an Ivy League! Oh, Jessica!

  38. Alanna

    Ehh. . Maybe not the most flattering dress but I think she would be really cute in-person. I’d rather look at her than those stupid jersey shore whores or that Ginger mess Lindsay any day.

  39. Kathleen

    She doesn’t look “huge”.
    If you posted the last picture first instead it wouldn’t look like she’s an example of your country’s obesity crisis.
    Thank god I’m Canadian and skinny.

  40. #30, you’re welcome. =)

  41. I wondered if I was just too sensitive. not assume the author is secretly want to do the same thing in honor of him being black or white author.

  42. Forget Jessica, More Britney Please!

    Who’s Jessica kidding? She’s just a spray tan and a couple of Big Macs away from being TWO Michelles.

  43. Stephanie

    Dear Jessica, if you ever happen to read this some day..,hah.. I feel compelled to give you my honest style assessment on this yellow dress. The dress is very flattering from the back…it definitely makes your behind look hot! …….BUT… from the front the dress is unforgivingly unflattering on you and hugs/highlights in all the wrong places. To me, this picture (from the front) makes you look a LOT heavier than I bet you really are in person! Just throwing my opinion out there…take it for what it’s worth. :) Side note: Damn I am so thankful that all of the bad style decisions I’ve ever made aren’t splashed all over the internet for the world to see and critique…who are we to judge? (And let’s be honest everyone, even when she is at her heaviest, we all know Jessica Simpson is still probably skinnier/prettier than the vast majority of all of you negative bloggers out there calling her “FAT!”)

  44. Mister Bored

    And the downhill slope just got deeper… wow.

  45. black&beautiful

    @ “kimberly” No. 37:

    Wow! You truly don’t have a fucking clue what you’re talking about, and it shows. You’re deliberate ignorance of facts is even worse than the completely deluded people like No. 21, because what you’re saying has the vague ring of credulity. Michelle Obama was her high school salutatorian and was an honor roll student the entire time. She got into Princeton not through affirmative action but through MERIT. Something I’m sure you could never accomplish. Meanwhile, Harvard Law doesn’t have an affirmative action program. They take only the best. You’d need 175 LSAT scores just to qualify, and the LSATs don’t grade based on race. Her thesis focused on how blacks educated in the Ivy League disconnect from their communities. If you had actually read it, maybe you’d be slightly aware of that.

    But don’t let the facts get in the way of a good time. It’s nice that you were able to take time away from tea-bagging with Fox and Friends to spread some baseless, prejudicial lies on the internet.

  46. Jon

    If everything is unflattering.. the lighting unflattering. the dress unflattering.. the photo angles…


    Or is nakedness unflattering too? Or do they turn the light off and never let you even see them? Or do they hide under the blanket like a beached whale?

  47. i don’t like this shoes before,but now i think air yeezy shoes are so comfortable and i love them.

  48. tc

    She is fuckably fat.

  49. Cat

    AHAHHAH sososososososo funny you are my life.

  50. captain america

    the collor of her skin must be changed.

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