Jessica Simpson tweets about her dog’s love life

August 24th, 2009 // 46 Comments

Now that she’s a single woman, Jessica Simpson has time to pursue the things that truly make her happy. Things like sitting alone in front of her computer and outing her dog as a lesbian on Twitter:

Daisy and her best friend Bella back together again. Lesbian lovas forever!
about 11 hours ago from UberTwitter

No joke, that is probably the saddest thing I’ll ever see in my entire life. After this, I could watch an orphaned child cry over the body of his parents, and I’d start handing out high fives. “Hey, his parents are just dead. WOO!”

Photo: WireImage
superficial

  1. Anonymous

    Chestica……nobody cares about you or your dog.

  2. Emily

    Meanwhile, the Superficial writer sits alone in front of their computer, writing about a woman who is writing about her dog’s sexual orientation.

  3. Gerald_Tarrant

    I want a love life with Jessica, and it has something to do with doggy.

  4. jessicas dog

    “someone save me from this bitch”

    jessicas dog

  5. someguy

    I imagine that while whoever she is shagging is shooting his spooge on her face after titty-fucking her, she would say, “I like butterflies!.”

  6. al bundy

    That photo is the picture of an insane girl. Wait, she’s single? No way!

  7. in other news tony romo is still trying to get jessica simpsons vagina smell off his penis. damn you tony romo! lemme smell your finger.

  8. Jake

    smells like fish.

    tastes like chicken.

  9. I won’t begin to speculate on why Tony Romo had enough of Jessica Simpson. I am not going to point fingers, or comment at all. I am simply going to state that I have placed three pictures of her as she sang for the golfing legend Tiger Woods the other day and I have three pictures of her when she was looking smoking hot. I personally think she is a wonderful girl. It isn’t strange that she did the reality thing or that her father is a little too close to her (didn’t you always wonder about that relationship) but who am I to judge. Nobody, nothing, so I won’t do it. I won’t tell you that my favorite pictures are the ones of her in those bikinis instead of her in that really wide black and red striped dress. Those are big stripes and I am not sure that anyone looks good in stripes that big. It just isn’t flattering.

    http://journalstone.com/2009/07/28/jessica-simpson-i-am-not-here-to-judge/

  10. terry

    the fact that superficial writer even posted this is actually lamer than Jessicas tweet

  11. Megan

    2 & 10 – And you both commented on this fact! HA!

    But… I just commented on you commenting on Superfish writing about Jessica writing about a les-dog. OH MY GOD, WHERE HAVE I GONE WRONG?

  12. Mike

    Stupid man-chin girl with tree stump thighs and a beer belly. And the intelligence of a 7 year old.

    Hillbilly grossness.

  13. Mike

    Stupid man-chin girl with tree stump thighs and a beer belly. And the intelligence of a 7 year old.

    Hillbilly grossness.

  14. Jenkins

    There is no suitcase large enough to stuff this cow in – even if you remove her implants and their serial numbers first.

  15. Kelley

    My God, are you kidding us all ??

  16. LarryK

    She looks AWFUL. And CRAZY.

  17. Shamino

    Where are the REAL celebrity reports?

    This is one BIG frickin’ D list celebrity BLOG that’s about as fake as all these so-called celebrities being posted about.

  18. no

    Everytime the superficial writer posts “wahh I hate Heidi, so here’s some more free publicity for them” is lamer then this.

  19. my name is larry

    -she looks mildly retarded

  20. missing commentary

    This photo is missing the video commentary. ” Hey! Lookie at my doggie! She absolutely freakin’ loooooves you! C’mon, isn’t she sooooo cute?? What, I’m not crazy! Look , she wants to give you kisses! Why can’t I find a man? Doesn’t anyone love me? I like cheese!”

  21. #15, so true. Now that is the color blond girls with brown eyes can get away with…

  22. gotmilk?

    9, for someone who claims they’re not going to comment or judge, you certainly won’t shut up!

  23. Kojo

    The dog looks like she’s got a higher level of brain activity than Jessica.

  24. Shamus O'Hara

    Jessica looks Great !

  25. hert

    Jessica looks Terrible!

  26. War Correspondent.

    Bat shit crazy eyes, way too much makeup, and a boxer’s chin. Like a drag queen on speed.

  27. Harold^Sick

    It won’t be long now before she’s tweeting about how awesome our love life is. I can feel it.

  28. Del

    She is going through somemstuff no doubt with all that h been going on

  29. ceedee

    what the hell is up with her teeth?

  30. IMHO

    #8…who could top that?!?! I want to know why everyone is ‘turning’ lesbian…is it more marketable ;-)

  31. Chatham

    I LOVE her hair like this.
    I can’t believe I complimented JSimp, but I truly think it looks great on her.

  32. Blech

    At least she’s prettier than Ashlee.

    Jus’ayin.

  33. JEFF

    IS THIS WHAT JESSICA HAS DEGRADED TO? A CRAZY SINGLE LADY IN LOVE WITH HER DOG?

    POOR JESSICA…

  34. ROUGH daddy

    So what? She tweeting about her dog for the same reason people are checking her tweet account and reporting it.

  35. Galtacticus

    Her dog doesn’t seem much in love with her.

  36. Darth

    Their eyes are similar!?

  37. Rhialto

    The dog’s eyes are less demanding for attention.

  38. Nero

    @37
    Who’s face is prettier? Jessica – or Ashlee Simpson’s face?

  39. Rhialto

    38. Nero – August 25, 2009 10:24 AM
    @37
    Whose face is prettier? Jessica – or Ashlee Simpson’s face?

    *At night or daytime?

  40. Louier

    I don’t care what you guys/gals are saying about Jessica. Being from Texas myself, I just want to “pound” her bacon! again….and again..and again…until she forgets about that dipshit quarterback; what’s his name?

  41. In all fairness, she looks great in that photo.

    -meream

  42. EricLR

    I’ve got $100 that says that dog could score higher on an I.Q. test than her.

  43. me09

    OMG…I LOVE HER HAIR IN THIS PIC…..SHE LOOKS SO PRETTY !!!!!!

  44. me09

    OMG…I LOVE HER HAIR IN THIS PIC…..SHE LOOKS SO PRETTY !!!!!!

  45. me09

    OMG…I LOVE HER HAIR IN THIS PIC…..SHE LOOKS SO PRETTY !!!!!!

  46. The picture video commentary is missing. “Oh my dog absolutely freakin! Lookie ‘loooooves you go!, Is not she gorgeous? Sooooo? What, I’m not crazy! Look, he wants to give you a kiss I could not find why! A man? A I do not love me? like cheese! “

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