Jessica Simpson says stuff, too

February 16th, 2010 // 74 Comments

Seen here over the years/when she was retarded hot, Jessica Simpson appears in the latest issue of Allure where she might as well have answered each question with “I’m completely oblivious to everything around me and sometimes a man’s penis enters my vagina.” Or at least that’s how I read it:

On her weight:
“When I walk through an airport and people go, ‘You’re not fat!’ I’m like, ‘Thanks. Thanks. That’s great. Good to know I’m not fat today. Thank you!’ “My job is to be creative. And I’m not weighing in for anybody.”

On how she’ll date pretty much anybody:
“I definitely will marry an artistic man. It will show you the colors of my character, the person that I fall in love with next. I don’t even have a type! I don’t have a physical type. I have an emotional type. When you have yourself together, I don’t care what you look like at all. You can be tall; you can be short.”

On doing nudity:
“I don’t care how dark and intellectual the role could be, you know? I don’t care if I frickin’ get an Oscar for it, I’m not going to do it. Those accolades mean nothing to me….I don’t think people deserve to see what’s underneath my clothing. That’s only for my next husband–ha ha ha!”

On being herself:
“I don’t care if the cameras are on or not, you’re going to get the real me. There’s no reason to mask that, because that’s what has given me the chance to be in a powerful position.”

And that powerful position includes the ability to fart at will during business meetings. It’s amazing she’s not president.

Photos: Allure

  1. arealcad

    I’d hit it. Tape it. Then, spank it while watching the reruns.

  2. This is why I love that woman. She can fart around me anytime. I’m artistic. Do you hear this JS?!

  3. Parker

    That’d be funny if she farted while I was buttfucking her. I wouldn’t stop, I’d just be like, Jessica! You animal, you. Hold it in till I finish, will ya? Geez.

  4. billyboy

    MMM . I got warm sensation all over, eh he he!

  5. Anon

    She is so hot I’m just upset she wont do nudity.
    She has a better figure than 90% of women who do.

  6. Ego

    I miss the days when she was “retarded hot”
    I’d still beat that puss like a rented mule. just sayin

  7. sushi

    I did laugh that she said she’d date anyone, short, tall but she failed to mention fat.

    She looks great though at her current weight. Hopefully she’ll reconsider showing her great jugs.

  8. McFeely Smackup

    Ever notice you never hear a fit woman say “america is obsessed with weight”?

    Jessica, the reason people call you fat, is you are FAT. The reason people care that you’re fat is because your JOB is to be attractive and you’re failing at it.

  9. Won’t do nudity? She’s most of the way there in the top pic!

  10. Won’t do nudity? She’s most of the way there in the top pic!

  11. Janice Anderson

    Fat? aw that is a sad saddd comment, her body is pretty perfect..nowhere near fat

  12. whatever

    Did Papa Joe orchestrate those poses?

  13. McFeely Smackup

    ” 11. Janice Anderson – February 16, 2010 2:44 PM

    Fat? aw that is a sad saddd comment, her body is pretty perfect..nowhere near fat

    Janice doesn’t understand that photos are not a magic window looking at a person. Someone might be able to explain to her that these pics are 6 years old and today she is about 40 lbs heavier.

  14. Anon

    She’s not fat. Not by a long shot.
    Not by American standards.
    At best a little plump. Which she pulls of Beautifully.

  15. Oh

    shopping cart

  16. Sure, she’ll do 3-ways & anal, but she’ll save her body for her next husband…

    And the check’s in the mail, and I won’t come in your mouth…

  17. oooaaahhh

    Who did her makeup, Watson & Standard?

  18. KIKI

    I am impressed with these pics, they are current in W mag.
    They are also photoshopped to hell and back, but she looks great. Dumb blonds are ok when they are humble.

  19. Diane

    These are photos from her 2006 Allure article. Not sure how photo shopped they were because she was looking pretty darn good back then. The ones for the 2010 are on her website. You can tell that even the outtake photos have been altered because her legs are not that thin in real life.

  20. KIKI

    I stand corrected.

  21. If I was her next husband and I saw these photos, I’d cry in the corner like a bitch while Nick Lachey pointed and laughed at me.

  22. chuck

    I liked her better when she was skinny, but she still is way hot plus most of the pictures of her lately she isn’t wearing a ton of makeup makes her even hotter

  23. I know this is an old picture but

    even now she is only half the size of one of Christina Hendrick’s tits. Christina Hendricks is a whale of a woman.

  24. truth doctor

    Jessica Simpson: Smarter than Megan Fox.

  25. James

    Jessica, could you please show your boobs at least once? Please?

  26. KELLY

    These pictures are from when she was slim and hot…. She went DOWNHILL as soon as she left Nick, everyone knows that!

    She looks amazing here, but now shes frumpy, boring, chunky…. BLURGH!

  27. justifiable

    Jessica, no worries over the nudity bit – if it’s in any way a dark and/or intellectual role, there’s no way you’ll be allowed within 50 miles of it. Easy to say those accolades would mean nothing to you, since you’ll never, ever, get them in the first place.

    As for anything approaching Oscar-worthy?

    In your fevered fat-girl dreams, sweets.

  28. ppl

    man, beauty is really a short career… what a different a few years make now and then. Too bad Jessica your days of hottess is over

  29. cowbulls

    I like real, natural women with curves and Jessica is fantastic. Mayer’s comments about her sexuality seem right on to me.

  30. Frowsey McFunky

    I, like Papa Joe, would love to die happy between those breasts.

  31. JN

    I’d vote Simpson over Palin.

  32. These comments arent very nice…i know how to throw a stone when the need be but this is completely out of sort because she looks beautiful on the cover …she has always been a beautiful girl and has a great voice. i hope the right opportunity comes her way very soon.

  33. State the Obvious

    It’s nice to see that even in this economy, dumb whores can still find steady work.

  34. Jeff

    i would take her as president over obama any day

  35. Oh Jessica, you don’t have to worry about winning an Oscar. Eventually one of your boyfriends will leak some pics of you anyway so you might as well get paid for it. That’s just my opinion though.

  36. Insatiable Peter

    Why is it the retarded ones who think they’ll always win an Oscar?

  37. Shouldn’t Pimp Daddy Joe at least wait and see how soon her upcoming series on beauty is going to to flop before he begins another loser project. I see where the word “creepy” is used over and over again here to describe him * I totally agree it fits him perfectly. At 29 years old, it might benefit Jessica to tell her dad enough is enough and perhaps hire a REAL manager and perhaps find something that suits her talent, whatever that might be.

  38. Doc Schweinstrudel

    She looks really good in these pictures, beautiful brown

  39. Photoshop Phil

    Are you kidding me? The photoshopped her thighs to be that slim. She’s way chunkier in real life.

  40. terri

    she is soo photoshopped in these pictures.she use to be hot but not theses days shes not.

  41. Tim

    I dissapointed.

  42. that's brigitte bardot

    OK she looks hot in the cover photo, but that’s NOT HER. It’s an old photo, that was photoshopped. Since when did she look like Brigitte Bardot??

  43. Fido

    VERY SEXY FEET!!! Her slightly dirty soles are so erotic!!!

  44. She’s beautiful. I hate her. Not really, but I’d go straight for Jessica, oh yes. She’s hot.

  45. britt

    These are old pictures that are being published again. I believe this was from a Japanese magazine called Glitter, some years back. Look it up! What a phoney! Her stomach DEFINITELY ain’t lookn like THAT ever again!!!

  46. the photoshopper got a lot of overtime on this one.

  47. Damn, she’s still so sexy.. I found a bunch of her pics along with other celebs on this site , just click Flavors and choose the category Celebrity.. it made my life a lot easier lol

  48. spicy

    jess… get real. you look nothing like this. photoshop <33333

  49. #42 is dead on

    The pic has been photoshopped so much it looks like BRIGITTE BARDOT. Jessica does not and has NEVER looked this good wtf. A little airbrushing is fine for a magazine shoot, but c’mon!

  50. tony romo

    i would like to fuck her in that position in that wicker chair (pix 1)

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