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Considering her rock hard understanding of canned tuna, it’s pretty clear Jessica Simpson has never shopped for groceries in her entire life. And yet here she is at Ralphs fishing for attention by pretending to. She must be some sort of magician because I see her go in with a shopping cart but I don’t see her come out with one. Or groceries for that matter. As if pretending to actually buy groceries was too much trouble so she just wandered around aimlessly asking people if they knew who she was, occasionally stopping to pick up a melon, squeeze it, and say “Yup, that’s a good one.” And then an employee would come over and ask her to please stop squeezing all the boxes of Animal Crackers.
More of Jessica Simpson pretending to shop at Ralphs after the jump.
MeanNate | September 15, 2006 at 8:17 am
Congratulations… bitch.
jane's eyre | September 15, 2006 at 8:22 am
She’s just window shopping today folks, nothing strange about that, right? People window shop all the time!
dupababy | September 15, 2006 at 8:22 am
aww.. now don’t be hatin’ mister superficial.. just cause ralph’s must have sold out of everything before she had a chance to fill her basket.. you see, it’s hard to see around all that plastification she’s had done.. especially in the nasal region.. if you’d just had 10″ removed from your schnoz, you’d understand..
CelebSlam.com | September 15, 2006 at 8:23 am
How cute. She’s trying to do grownup things.
http://www.celebslam.com
StanGable | September 15, 2006 at 8:25 am
fuck the dodgers. isn’t she from texas anyway? this chick can’t do anything right these days…which is rad to see. she’s hiddy.
parkinsoplayer | September 15, 2006 at 8:25 am
I
gsprescueguy | September 15, 2006 at 8:26 am
Third pic in top:
When did Michael Imperioli begin working in a grocery store?
beifiori | September 15, 2006 at 8:29 am
HEYYYYYYYY #5, hold up there, just cuz she’s from texas doesn’t mean we are pround of her :D she brings shame to the great state! all we can do is scratch our heads in wonder over this one. Her daddy must not have let her attend school or something. I don’t understand how one can be so clueless and not be 9…maybe she’s finishing up her jr. high education and she’s actually on a field day excursion for her home economics class…
guest1234567 | September 15, 2006 at 8:34 am
She must have forgotten her coupons. People who don’t have real jobs should use coupons because they are like money. The problem with shopping at Ralphs is that even her father gets confused because when the checker says they do double coupons, he keeps saying ‘But she’s got Double Ds. You can’t just ignore them!’
sortit | September 15, 2006 at 8:35 am
is that one of the ralph’s on ventura in studio city?
she probably only did it to get attention …WEAK!!
Devil Is Chrome | September 15, 2006 at 8:35 am
I just can
Italian Stallion | September 15, 2006 at 8:36 am
She must be in a rich people grocery store, because there is no way all that watermelon would still be on the shelf in the ghetto……………..
Hopeless_Screenwriter | September 15, 2006 at 8:36 am
You guys are all fucking clueless. She’s not shopping, she’s working! She’s the fucking cart-collector-girl!!!
Is was between that and Wal-mart-greeter.
Hello?
Hopeless
TheKeyToMyFart | September 15, 2006 at 8:40 am
Where is PapaHotNuts?
amhi | September 15, 2006 at 8:40 am
11 – She brought them along because they match her skin color.
Hopeless_Screenwriter | September 15, 2006 at 8:41 am
After bringing in her ‘One Cart’ for the day look how proud she is in that last picture? And all the media is like, “Do another, do another, bring in another cart, we missed it.” And she’s like, “nope, that’s all the work I’m doing today.” “Bye’.
Naranja | September 15, 2006 at 8:45 am
This site is turning into to a Big Brother watching over Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears:( isn`t anybody else doing anything???
Angry Ferret Jones | September 15, 2006 at 8:46 am
It’s obvious what happened. Look at the first pic of her bag, then the last pic. She went Winona Ryder on Ralphs!
YoMamma | September 15, 2006 at 8:47 am
no, no, no….superfish…
she was squeezing HER melons.
LoneWolf | September 15, 2006 at 8:48 am
What the fuck was the point of that?
Because she has another doomed-to-flop movie coming out, this one produced by Papa Joe, who is the only person in Hollywood receiving head from her who will give her work?
I think yes.
ToiletDuck | September 15, 2006 at 8:48 am
Leave the poor girl along willya?
She only went to the store because she was upset when she heard that animal crackers were made from animals so she wanted to see for herself…
..dumb cunt…
amhi | September 15, 2006 at 8:49 am
Texas may be a fine state, but entertainers from the South recently ain’t been givin us nothing but trouble. Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson,
..
Need I go on?
ToiletDuck | September 15, 2006 at 8:49 am
…oops – I meant leave the poor girl ALONE…shit, need some more coffee…
RichPort | September 15, 2006 at 8:51 am
I thought only Nicole Richie window shopped at supermarkets. That said, this is the most fuckable she’s looked in a long time.
dstroyer | September 15, 2006 at 8:57 am
Today I visited the food library!
sometimesboy | September 15, 2006 at 8:58 am
third pic, top row:
apparently she farted as she walked past the produce clerk…
beavis | September 15, 2006 at 9:02 am
you said “rock hard” huh-huh huh-huh
chloe | September 15, 2006 at 9:05 am
Does anyone know what kind of boots she is wearing… she is wearing them all over all of her pictures…
GossipMonkey | September 15, 2006 at 9:07 am
I still think its a sham – there is no fucking way you can really be that stupid and live to adulthood, without being severely maimed. Where is natural selection when you need it??????
chloe | September 15, 2006 at 9:07 am
Does anyone know what kind of boots she is wearing in all of these pictures?
Angry Ferret Jones | September 15, 2006 at 9:08 am
#25 – that is some funny shit.
mytwocents | September 15, 2006 at 9:10 am
#10…
That’s absolutely the Ralphs on Coldwater & Ventura…;)
skinny_fat | September 15, 2006 at 9:14 am
30. Posted by chloe on September 15, 2006 9:07 AM
Does anyone know what kind of boots she is wearing in all of these pictures?
You mean they’re not ones she designed!!!!!
courtkneeyo | September 15, 2006 at 9:26 am
its disgusting. she has servants to go shopping for her.
but instead she needs to boost her self esteem so she goes out and calls all the paparazzi beforehand.
UNWASHEDMASSES | September 15, 2006 at 9:29 am
Given her recent luck with men, it would be funny if everything in the cart was phallic. Thick, uncut carrots. Long, plump cucumbers. Maybe some oddly-shaped squash, a thin eggplant or two. Basically, a veritable vegetable orgy. Rumors would then swirl that the carrots and cucumbers at Jess’ house all taste a little fishy…
Jake | September 15, 2006 at 9:30 am
she’s got her issues, but bottom line is i’d totally hit that
http://wampoon.com/
dstroyer | September 15, 2006 at 9:31 am
#35 — peanut butter and pet chow may raise some eyebrows…
al rarow | September 15, 2006 at 9:34 am
Nice rack, butterface.
Angry Ferret Jones | September 15, 2006 at 9:45 am
#34 – Good point. What are the odds that the photog’s were just kicking it at Ralph’s when she happened by. I wish I had “people” that leaked shit like that about me.
Can you imagine being a photog and getting that assignment?
“Hey Tony, head over to Ralph’s, Carrot Tits is going to be there.”
Yep, all that training at Big Jerry’s Photog School and Bait Shop is TOTALLY paying off now.
BarbadoSlim | September 15, 2006 at 9:53 am
The only meat this dumb bitch’s ever tasted is Papa Joe’s old country Texas Sausage.
Ps:And no Texas is not a great state nothing, good has ever come out of Texas…give it back to Mexico, with all the people in it.
RichPort | September 15, 2006 at 9:55 am
#41 – They can take Louisiana too. It appears we’re done with it.
doihaveabooger | September 15, 2006 at 9:55 am
imagine dating her, the time spent inbetween boning her would be pure torture.
BarbadoSlim | September 15, 2006 at 9:56 am
disregard that coma after nothing and add an edit function to this mutha.
bigponie | September 15, 2006 at 9:57 am
ahhh yes jessica that is a grocery store… your mama never told you about that one did she.
JoannieBalonie | September 15, 2006 at 10:06 am
At least she knows what city she’s in!!!! LOS ANGELES! Who BTW is still in first place NL West. But we definetely need some wins against SD this weekend! Go DODGERS! YUP DODGER FAN!
TheKeyToMyFart | September 15, 2006 at 10:07 am
http://www.outofsightmedia.com
(A day in the life of a paparazzit)
“Then there is Joe Simpson, the father of Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson. He Paps his own daughters and distributes his pictures of his daughters through a paparazzi agency, WireImage. Have you seen the pictures of Jessica Simpson with the rollerskates from her new video, Public Affair? If you look at the photo credits, it says,
happy_bunny | September 15, 2006 at 10:22 am
who cares
RichPort | September 15, 2006 at 10:28 am
She wore the LA hat because it’s one of the few words she can pronounce without help, although sometimes she gets tripped up and says AL.
BibaBui | September 15, 2006 at 10:30 am
Those boots
matching belt
matching purse
a blue cap
Hideous. Who dresses this girl?
HolisticWisdomcom | September 15, 2006 at 10:44 am
She probably emerged without groceries because they did not give them to her for free. Celebs always expect things for free because they usually get it.
Companies will pay thousands just to be given the opportunity to give free products through special PR companies that arrange this stuff.
I know, our company has been asked to do this kind of thing and it cracks me up. Um, yes, we would like to pay money to get the opportunity to give away inventory to rich celebs. Classic!
http://www.holisticwisdom.com