Jessica Simpson plumps her lips

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Jessica Simpson admits in the October issue of Glamour she had her lips artificially plumped last fall.

“I had that Restylane stuff,” she says. “It looked fake to me. I didn’t like that. But…it went away in, like, four months. My lips are back to what they were. Thank God!” New York City plastic surgeon Andrew Jacono says Restylane – a protein-based gel – is safer than collagen (which comes from animals): “It’s the gold standard.”

I must’ve missed the memo that said looking like this is attractive. Everybody knows what they’re gonna look like if they do it and yet these clowns keep doing it. I can understand wanting to inject weird liquids into your face, but not wanting to look like you just made out with a poisonous cactus for the past six hours.