Jessica Simpson performs in leather pants

January 30th, 2009 // 184 Comments

Just days after revealing to the world Christmas cookies are her Kryptonite, Jessica Simpson bravely performed last night in Charlottesville, Va. while wearing leather pants. She thanked the crowd for their support and told them to “Stay positive and pray out loud!” All of this would’ve been a touching, poignant moment of self-empowerment, except for the four rolls of electrical tape wrapped around Jessica’s stomach. I’m 90% certain she’s dressing herself in a locked room then bolting on stage before anyone can stop her. Next show: Ballerina!

Photos: Splash News
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  1. doofus

    boom chika wow wow

  2. Callie

    Is she pregnant?

  3. kingofbeer

    thick

  4. sushi

    Why the fuck is this dumb bitch wearing shiny tight clothing that makes her look like a horse?

  5. yikes. leather pants are a privilege; not a right.

  6. Lisa Turtle

    I’ve figured out the problem! Most of these Hollywood stylists have no clue how to style a woman is over a size 2. That’s why whenever a celeb gains to what would be considered a normal size in the real world, they start dressing in this weird shit.

  7. Meghanfish

    Those arent leather pants. She only really looks fat cause she’s wearing the shittiest clothes she possibly could wear. I think she’s probly like a size 6 or 8 here…. not anyone you’d call fat if they weren’t famous. Although if I was jessica simpson i’d hire someone to cook every last thing i was eating so this didn’t happen anyway. But I digress. I’m off to burger king… later

  8. TT Boy

    why is she barefoot?!!!

    ugh… utter low-class trash

  9. edamame

    She definitely looks pregnant. I’ll bet Romo did a little dance in the end zone.

  10. bmurphy72

    For as much money as her assistants moch off her, they could at least be honest with her and tell that some things should not be worn…at all. And as for being pregnant you don’t have to wear a condom, but you can still catch syphilis.

  11. Fat Chicks Suck

    She MUST have a contract with a weight-loss company and she needs to gain before she sheds it off. Unless she is pregnant, there’s no other reason a healthy celebrity would gain weight so rapidly like she has and then wear tight clothes in public (unless they were retired.)

    Currently, she looks like a typical overweight American – completely unnattractive.

  12. Deacon Jones

    $10 says they had to use ER shearers to cut those fucking pants off her after the show

  13. Chlamydia Johnson

    A cow wearing leather? How ironic!

  14. Lisa

    You people are sick sick fucks. Have you all never put on weight before?
    Thanks for being part of the problem.
    Assholes.

  15. havoc

    Her manager and publicist should be terminated immediately.

    That’s Papa Joe right?

    .

  16. AJ

    #6

    Correction; you mean what Americans want to believe is the “normal” in the American world. Americans are great at using euphemisms for “fat”. The rest of the world sees Americans as fat, big, large people. Stop the excuses Americans and quit stuffing your faces with too much food.

  17. Diabla

    She’s GOT to be pregnant.

    Fatty, fatty two by four.
    One tit, two tit, they’re the floor.

    http://www.elestupidez.com

  18. Deacon Jones

    (wakes up in ER with bright light overhead, people rushing about)

    “Like, what happened, y’all”
    “You tried putting on size 2 leather pants” (starts cutting off with shearers)
    “Huhh?”
    “It’ ok, just relax. Suck in your gut, we’re getting near the waistband”
    “Ashleyyyyy…..”
    “30 cc’s of valium, STAT! Strap the bitch down!”

  19. Savalas

    Blech. Those can’t be comfortable with the tree trunks she’s using to walk around.

  20. Ginger

    #14

    I am 5’3″ just like Jessica and I have never put on that much weight. I weigh 110 right now and Jessica must weight 145-150. But when I do put on weight; I wear clothes that flatter my body and show off my natural large breasts with low cleavage tops and a-line dresses/skirts. Jessica should have wore an a-line skirt with sexy stockings, and a cleavage showing top. Jessica does not have a tiny waist like me (I have a size 26 waist) and the big wide ugly belt makes her waist look even bigger. I buy clothes that flatter my body and have never needed to buy designer clothes. Jessica’s expensive designer clothes look horrible on her. I have never been a size 2 and right now I am a size 4-6, so I’m assuming Jessica is a size 8-10 right now.

  21. Rich

    If she farted the back would blow right outta those pants.

  22. Vicki

    I think she looks amazing, besides happiness makes you fat. Though a size 6 is hardly fat. Fat is a size 16.

  23. mimi

    Meh. The blonde hair make her look like one of those sub-human types thta have more than learned their subservient role on “our” economy.
    The lack of shoes merely demonstrates to the other primitive types that she is one of them, only richer.

  24. Marivi

    WOAH, dude!!!! Look I’m not gonna rag on the fact that she’s gained some weight, ’cause considering the number I myself see on the scale every morning, I’d still give both my ass cheeks to look like she does right now LOL… BUT DAMN!!! Who in the hell is her stylist, man????????? C’mon!

  25. Joe

    I like her fat like that, it makes her breasts bigger

  26. Daniel

    Why does she perform? Do anyone want to see her?

  27. Fat Chicks Suck

    #14: How are we part of the problem? Because we’re sick of seeing lazy fat people everywhere we look? Because we’re disgusted that people in America just give up and let themselves go? It’s not that hard to take care of yourself.

    To answer your question: no – I’ve never put on weight like this before. I wouldn’t allow myself to gain 15 pounds of fat in a couple months. She’s actually been gaining weight for awhile but she REALLY packed it on recently.

    I think people that think looking like that is healthy are part of the problem. The people, like you, that sit around and don’t say anything because they’re afraid to hurt overweight peoples’ feelings are part of the problem. They’re enabling these people. Then you call us assholes for speaking the truth.

  28. Shep

    #20, How you dooin? ;) ;) lol

  29. mysticalmissc

    Why is it whenever I visit this site, it is the males making comments about chicks being fat? She is not fat.

  30. To Ginger

    Ginger, your so transparent. Anyone who compares themselves to a celebrity-with themselves continually coming out on top- and uses a post as a soundboard to toot their own horn is likely a loser, psychologically disturbed and not as attractive as they like to imagine.

  31. Trish

    #22

    Jessica is not a size 6; she is a size 10-12. If Jessica is a size 6 then this makes me a size -0 and I am 5’3″ and weigh 112 pounds lol!

  32. mimimi

    #20: sure like talking about yourself, don’t you?

  33. mik

    well 29, mysticalmissc, as its been pointed out she is overweight by medical standards and when somebody goes from being a hot celebrity to looking like an everyday american slob people are going to talk about it. if youre fat like she is and take offense to comments about her then dont read them. 75% of the women i see everday are chunky and lazy and celebrities are supposed to be a break from that.

  34. Mysticalmissc

    I’m 5’4″ and a size 6. I weigh 135. I’m about the same size as her.

  35. Rachell

    Jessica reminds me of my how my Fable 2 character looks fat and manly in her assassin coat, she looks almost the same.. Same HUGE torso girth….wtf was lionhead thinking when they designed their characters?

  36. Tommyshocker

    I think she is beautiful.

  37. mimimi

    #35: i actually lol’d. you single?

  38. Right Fury

    ginger is probably a 40 yr old dude, who makes everyone call him “dragon”

    She has GOT to be pregnant. I refuse to believe she would allow this to happen. Look at how much work she put into her body for that godawfull movie dukes of hazard.

    I call preggo on this one. She has no talent so she has to get by on her looks. Prolly just waiting the manadatory first trimester to make sure everything is ok.

    Good luck with baby (insert stupid celebrity baby name here) Jessica!!!

  39. mysticalmissc

    Well, #29, I see why attractive females DONT hang around you.

  40. #8 is an idiot

    she’s not barefoot, stupid! she’s wearing heels.

  41. Ginger

    #20

    Yes I do to make my point. We have a huge problem with fat Americans. It cost more money to treat fat Americans than fit Americans. Being fat can cause a lot of fat related illness like high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and high cholesterol. Just because America feeds the entire world and we are the land of plenty; does not mean stuff your face and get fat.

  42. ch474

    Black is slimming

  43. Rachell

    mimimi – heheh :P No alas, I’m taken by a guy that is totally not into videogames /cries

    RightFury – Ginger doesn’t make you call her “dragon” …she goes by “Night Hawk”

    Yeah seriously…americans are fat, but its not because we’re americans…if you go to any other part of the world (with the exception of England lol) you will see really thin people by comparison, HOWEVER, once people have been in the USA for a while from other countries, they will PACK IT ON. Trust me, I was friends with loads of exchange students in high school and noted their newly found love for fast food. =P

  44. me

    her feet look painfully swollen, she might be sick with diabetes or something

  45. Celi

    Why is everyone so mean? She looks fine. Just because she is not a skinny whore who throws up everything does not make her fat.

  46. Celi

    Why is everyone so mean? She looks fine. Just because she is not a skinny whore who throws up everything does not make her fat.

  47. uncurled

    just because her clothes are *cough cough* better doesn’t make her any less fat.

  48. Rachell

    mimimi – heheh :P No alas, I’m taken by a guy that is totally not into videogames /cries

    RightFury – Ginger doesn’t make you call her “dragon” …she goes by “Night Hawk”

    Yeah seriously…americans are fat, but its not because we’re americans…if you go to any other part of the world (with the exception of England lol) you will see really thin people by comparison, HOWEVER, once people have been in the USA for a while from other countries, they will PACK IT ON. Trust me, I was friends with loads of exchange students in high school and noted their newly found love for fast food. =P

  49. #40 is a RAGING RETARD

    You should probably attempt to pay some fucking attention before calling others an idiot. “Hello, Pot? This is Kettle. You’re black.”

    Look at the rest of the pictures, dingbat.

  50. Jessica

    Yo that bitch needs to lose some weight…

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