Jessica Simpson clearly hates John Mayer for ruining any chance to talk about her new reality show The Something of Something because she also stopped by The View this morning to let Barbara Walters know he’s banned from her vagina. Via People:
“I thought he was stupid for breaking up with me,” Simpson, 29, said on ABC’s The View on Monday morning.
Asked if she’s spoken to Mayer, 32, since he likened her to “sexual napalm in a Playboy interview,” Simpson said she hadn’t, and then added with a laugh: “And he’ll never have this napalm again.”
“I’ll walk into a restaurant or something, and I notice that more men are looking at me, but I feel like they’re undressing me,” she says. “So, it’s a little bit embarrassing.”
Of course Jessica Simpson thinks men are just now undressing her with their eyes. Because before they were simply staring at her humongous chest because they’re all doctors. Well, newsflash, they’re not. — Except for me. Stethoscope!
spiderLAW | March 15, 2010 at 4:05 pm
First!!! mother BItches!!!!
JJ | March 15, 2010 at 4:05 pm
FIRST
yawn | March 15, 2010 at 4:17 pm
yeah and when you werent fat EVERYBODY looked at you..
so sad.. now she’s delusional..
i dont think she’s ever coming back… :/
Parker | March 15, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Why doesn’t it bother her when her father undresses her with his eyes.
Or with his hands?
bakinmycake | March 15, 2010 at 4:18 pm
I want you for your mind Jess.
Regards
Einstein
ghghg | March 15, 2010 at 4:28 pm
She’s stupid and pretty.
Some Girl | March 15, 2010 at 4:29 pm
I am so sick of this coy little “tee-hee, I’m a secret sex-machine” act she’s trying to pull. She constantly says she’s disappointed in him for talking about it, but she talks about it every chance she gets! She actually remarked, “I don’t want people to know how I am in bed!” That’s pretty clever wording, especially for Jessica. She’s acting shy, but in the same sentence saying, “Yes, that’s exactly how I am in bed.” Give me a break. Oh, and I don’t buy into the shit either… I’d bet anything that she just lays there and they’re both trying to overcompensate.
Insert something about shallow water and lots of noise here.
Adam | March 15, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Is anyone else confused by the whole sexual napalm thing? Does that mean…she’s hot? Or…deadly?
Livinius Nwambe | March 15, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Okay, so here’s the thing, Fish. More pictures of scantily-clad Jessica, please. fewer pictures of her doing things and being stuff!
Richard McBeef | March 15, 2010 at 4:55 pm
@7 – she is playing it up because she knows her inevitable future – porn.
dude | March 15, 2010 at 5:20 pm
Memo to Vapid cunt from Abilene Texas: (aka Jessica Simpson)
When he said “sexual napalm” he meant you gave him a scorching case of herpes.
Pazuzu | March 15, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Where’s this sweet boy called John Mayer? Doesn’t he like me!?
WHAT ? | March 15, 2010 at 5:34 pm
and I though that Lindsay L was the one they called Fire Croch. LOL
anon | March 15, 2010 at 5:38 pm
#7
most women just lie there and expect men to overcomensate for her.
Dn | March 15, 2010 at 5:39 pm
The way Jessica throws her hips around in that, “Boots Were Made For Walkin’” video, I’m gonna say she can own the bone in between the satin.
Uncle Eccoli | March 15, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Lol As if anybody ever saw anything but a fuck doll before the douchebag shot his mouth off. “Now people are undressing me with their eyes. It’s so unfair and humiliating.”
wtfchief! | March 15, 2010 at 5:45 pm
Could these shots possibly have been denoised and photoshopped MORE? I mean this is a rip right outta the early 2000′s porn chicks shop with plastic touch…
That’s not makeup folks (even tho she’s plastered with the clown shit), that’s a crappy job at removing noise. And by noise, I mean an iso 800 or more with all her zits, blackheads, shiny spots and lumps SMOOVED OVER (Smoothed purposely spelled wrong).
F U G L Y! Photog + shoppers should have their testicles dangled in a barrel of piranha…
Nero | March 15, 2010 at 5:50 pm
How about burning John Mayer like napalm does? Is that an idea?
pimp | March 15, 2010 at 5:52 pm
I want you for your sweet pink asshole Jess.
Regards
Pimp
Stevenson214 | March 15, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Yeah, Jessica is totally playing up now that someone explained to her that napalm isn’t a brand of margarine.
Boogeyman King Dong | March 15, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Sounds great # 18! But we’d need an official order for this.Rhialto? Overlord His Huge Greatness Himself??
Rhialto | March 15, 2010 at 6:13 pm
Wtf! Why are people always bothering me during my well earned nap!? @21 Why don’t i get impressive names like Overlord and so on!?
timmy the dying boy | March 15, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Sexual napalm? OK, now I’m really intrigued.
Richport's Ghost | March 15, 2010 at 7:32 pm
No more Napalm for Mayer… until he says something nice to her, and her legs begin to open….
Beej | March 15, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Oh, the things I’d do to this girl. I think she’s responsible for more wasted Kleenex by now than that Kardashian girl. Now that’s an accomplishment to be proud of, Jessica!
t | March 15, 2010 at 8:25 pm
As much as I don’t like Jessica, she is a very pretty girl.
Narcissist | March 15, 2010 at 10:56 pm
That makeup makes her glow with perfection. Doesn’t look greasy and pimply here. Also jeans and jacket are good to camouflage her fat.
So these Simpson people were never even close to being Christians, correct? What type of church were they involved with?
Perfect Double Tapered | March 16, 2010 at 12:26 am
No special offers from Mega Dick? This comments section is worse than my spam folder.
IKE | March 16, 2010 at 12:44 am
She’s right!! I DO look at her differently.
It’s like this: a friend of yours gets a new Mustang and tells you, ‘this thing will do 0-60 in 3.1 seconds!!’ You take a look at it and see it in a whole new light, then think, “MAN, I’D LIKE TO TRY THAT OUT!!”
Just sayin’.
IMHO | March 16, 2010 at 1:02 am
Jessica cannot be napalm, John. You can HAVE gas… you cannot BE gas.
flash drive | March 16, 2010 at 1:28 am
More pictures of scantily-clad Jessica, please. fewer pictures of her doing things and being stuff!
Security Camera | March 16, 2010 at 3:03 am
It was not good in part of John Mayer to say Jessica Simpson that she was “sexual napalm” She has been left “embarrassed” after John Mayer made this statement.
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photoshopped? | March 16, 2010 at 7:01 am
I’m very confused. The pic of Jess looks VERY photoshopped, but why would a paparazzi shot of Jess be photoshopped to make her look so good and radiant? Is the pic photoshopped? Or has Jessica Simpson’s skin just improved by a billion times
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captain america | March 16, 2010 at 8:23 am
can somebody explain to her this was just a joke?
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Sexy Cougar | March 16, 2010 at 11:31 am
It was obvious Jessica was an easy booty call for John and when he was tired of her, he dumped her. She was eager to please John, so of course she is napalm in bed. Then she plays this ignorant act like men are now undressing me with their eyes. If you flash tits or wear tight clothes or show legs then guys will stare and undress! duh!
Narcissist | March 16, 2010 at 6:04 pm
@ 30 – “Jessica cannot be napalm, John. You can HAVE gas… you cannot BE gas.”
Maybe that’s it. He meant she farts in bed. Greasy scalding hot farts.
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JN | April 17, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Jess is TOO FOINE!!!
What is Win32 Heur? | April 17, 2010 at 10:15 pm
Wonder what her dad thinks?