Jessica Simpson: ‘No more napalm for John Mayer’

March 15th, 2010 // 49 Comments

Jessica Simpson clearly hates John Mayer for ruining any chance to talk about her new reality show The Something of Something because she also stopped by The View this morning to let Barbara Walters know he’s banned from her vagina. Via People:

“I thought he was stupid for breaking up with me,” Simpson, 29, said on ABC’s The View on Monday morning.
Asked if she’s spoken to Mayer, 32, since he likened her to “sexual napalm in a Playboy interview,” Simpson said she hadn’t, and then added with a laugh: “And he’ll never have this napalm again.”
I’ll walk into a restaurant or something, and I notice that more men are looking at me, but I feel like they’re undressing me,” she says. “So, it’s a little bit embarrassing.”

Of course Jessica Simpson thinks men are just now undressing her with their eyes. Because before they were simply staring at her humongous chest because they’re all doctors. Well, newsflash, they’re not. — Except for me. Stethoscope!

Photos: Splash News

  1. spiderLAW

    First!!! mother BItches!!!!

  2. yawn

    yeah and when you werent fat EVERYBODY looked at you..
    so sad.. now she’s delusional..
    i dont think she’s ever coming back… :/

  3. Parker

    Why doesn’t it bother her when her father undresses her with his eyes.
    Or with his hands?

  4. bakinmycake

    I want you for your mind Jess.


  5. ghghg

    She’s stupid and pretty.

  6. Some Girl

    I am so sick of this coy little “tee-hee, I’m a secret sex-machine” act she’s trying to pull. She constantly says she’s disappointed in him for talking about it, but she talks about it every chance she gets! She actually remarked, “I don’t want people to know how I am in bed!” That’s pretty clever wording, especially for Jessica. She’s acting shy, but in the same sentence saying, “Yes, that’s exactly how I am in bed.” Give me a break. Oh, and I don’t buy into the shit either… I’d bet anything that she just lays there and they’re both trying to overcompensate.
    Insert something about shallow water and lots of noise here.

  7. Adam

    Is anyone else confused by the whole sexual napalm thing? Does that mean…she’s hot? Or…deadly?

  8. Livinius Nwambe

    Okay, so here’s the thing, Fish. More pictures of scantily-clad Jessica, please. fewer pictures of her doing things and being stuff!

  9. Richard McBeef

    @7 – she is playing it up because she knows her inevitable future – porn.

  10. dude

    Memo to Vapid cunt from Abilene Texas: (aka Jessica Simpson)

    When he said “sexual napalm” he meant you gave him a scorching case of herpes.

  11. Pazuzu

    Where’s this sweet boy called John Mayer? Doesn’t he like me!?

  12. WHAT ?

    and I though that Lindsay L was the one they called Fire Croch. LOL

  13. anon

    most women just lie there and expect men to overcomensate for her.

  14. Dn

    The way Jessica throws her hips around in that, “Boots Were Made For Walkin’” video, I’m gonna say she can own the bone in between the satin.

  15. Uncle Eccoli

    Lol As if anybody ever saw anything but a fuck doll before the douchebag shot his mouth off. “Now people are undressing me with their eyes. It’s so unfair and humiliating.”

  16. wtfchief!

    Could these shots possibly have been denoised and photoshopped MORE? I mean this is a rip right outta the early 2000′s porn chicks shop with plastic touch…

    That’s not makeup folks (even tho she’s plastered with the clown shit), that’s a crappy job at removing noise. And by noise, I mean an iso 800 or more with all her zits, blackheads, shiny spots and lumps SMOOVED OVER (Smoothed purposely spelled wrong).

    F U G L Y! Photog + shoppers should have their testicles dangled in a barrel of piranha…

  17. Nero

    How about burning John Mayer like napalm does? Is that an idea?

  18. pimp

    I want you for your sweet pink asshole Jess.


  19. Stevenson214

    Yeah, Jessica is totally playing up now that someone explained to her that napalm isn’t a brand of margarine.

  20. Boogeyman King Dong

    Sounds great # 18! But we’d need an official order for this.Rhialto? Overlord His Huge Greatness Himself??

  21. Rhialto

    Wtf! Why are people always bothering me during my well earned nap!? @21 Why don’t i get impressive names like Overlord and so on!?

  22. timmy the dying boy

    Sexual napalm? OK, now I’m really intrigued.

  23. No more Napalm for Mayer… until he says something nice to her, and her legs begin to open….

  24. Beej

    Oh, the things I’d do to this girl. I think she’s responsible for more wasted Kleenex by now than that Kardashian girl. Now that’s an accomplishment to be proud of, Jessica!

  25. t

    As much as I don’t like Jessica, she is a very pretty girl.

  26. That makeup makes her glow with perfection. Doesn’t look greasy and pimply here. Also jeans and jacket are good to camouflage her fat.

    So these Simpson people were never even close to being Christians, correct? What type of church were they involved with?

  27. Perfect Double Tapered

    No special offers from Mega Dick? This comments section is worse than my spam folder.

  28. IKE

    She’s right!! I DO look at her differently.

    It’s like this: a friend of yours gets a new Mustang and tells you, ‘this thing will do 0-60 in 3.1 seconds!!’ You take a look at it and see it in a whole new light, then think, “MAN, I’D LIKE TO TRY THAT OUT!!”

    Just sayin’.

  29. IMHO

    Jessica cannot be napalm, John. You can HAVE gas… you cannot BE gas.

  30. More pictures of scantily-clad Jessica, please. fewer pictures of her doing things and being stuff!

  31. It was not good in part of John Mayer to say Jessica Simpson that she was “sexual napalm” She has been left “embarrassed” after John Mayer made this statement.

  32. OH my god, I love your post very much , i love you , I will come back here every day, so beautiful …..

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  34. photoshopped?

    I’m very confused. The pic of Jess looks VERY photoshopped, but why would a paparazzi shot of Jess be photoshopped to make her look so good and radiant? Is the pic photoshopped? Or has Jessica Simpson’s skin just improved by a billion times

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  37. captain america

    can somebody explain to her this was just a joke?

  38. thank you for articles

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  40. very good,thank you.

  41. Sexy Cougar

    It was obvious Jessica was an easy booty call for John and when he was tired of her, he dumped her. She was eager to please John, so of course she is napalm in bed. Then she plays this ignorant act like men are now undressing me with their eyes. If you flash tits or wear tight clothes or show legs then guys will stare and undress! duh!

  42. @ 30 – “Jessica cannot be napalm, John. You can HAVE gas… you cannot BE gas.”

    Maybe that’s it. He meant she farts in bed. Greasy scalding hot farts.

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  46. JN

    Jess is TOO FOINE!!!

  47. Wonder what her dad thinks?

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