Jessica Simpson: ‘Must. Never. Stop. Wearing. Cutoffs.’

March 16th, 2009 // 97 Comments

Because who doesn’t love being compared to their younger, hotter self? Jessica Simpson has apparently made her Daisy Dukes a permanent part of her stage show. Here’s Jessica wearing them on Friday and Saturday night while performing outside Los Angeles, and your eyes don’t deceive you: It’s the same pair. Ladies and gentleman, we’ve got ourselves a never-nude.*

*Didn’t get that joke. I weep for you.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Beth

    Brooke again, wtf? Two stories in one day???

    …oh…wait…it’s Jessica…

  2. Raffy

    Arrested Development FTW.

  3. >.>


  4. You show me a naked dinosaur and I’ll show you my O-face.

  5. Sid

    She’s just being practical. With her thighs adding more thunder every day, she’d have to buy a new pair of jeans every week.

  6. steve

    I’d be happy to be her analyst-therapist.

  7. K lee

    Never nudes are no laughing matter. There are dozens of us!

  8. Tobias

    There are dozens of us! Dozens!

  9. Cindy

    Must be a real privilege to be the assistant who gets to scrub the shorts with Monistat each night.

  10. rumble grumble gurgle roar

    I’d lick that up down and all around until she shot gravy..then would go back for seconds..thirds..fourths….etc. she’s hot..and I would love to have her press those thighs up against my ears.

  11. sluggo

    I LOVE HER LEGS!!! As long as she doesn’t get cankles, she’ll be hot in my book. I wish I could be gettin’ busy with her!!!

  12. never huh?

    i don’t get it.

  13. Jeff

    ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT!! I normally don’t ever comment but ..

    it had to be admired.

  14. britney's weave

    well she can’t exactly show off her toned stomach, now can she? at this point, girl is out of options. it’s the legs or the gut–take your pick.

  15. ___

    #10, you wouldn’t do shit and you know it. You’re a friggin douchebag. I guarantee you have never tasted pussy in your life.

    “until she shot gravy”…WTF?

    Straight up douchebag. Congrats.

  16. arealcad

    she could crush a guy’s skull with those thighs.

  17. Delgo

    pic 5, looks like a hardcore singer

  18. sluggo

    I’d love her to choke me out with those thighs :-b

  19. Don't Fight It, Just Die.

    I always thought he just really liked cut offs.

  20. Lowlands

    Where’s my legal Sweetie??

  21. Amy

    She wears cutoffs because she cannot squeeze her fat thighs and ass into anything that covers more than her crotch.

    Those are bermuda shorts on anyone else, by the way.

  22. Darth

    Crisis time is cutoffs time!? It’s good to see that Jessica simpson has a warm heart for the folks!

  23. Just Some Guy

    Thanks for the memories #6. I had completely forgotten about that joke.

  24. Sauron

    Great muscular legs! What’s her 100 meter time!?

  25. Deacon Jones

    She reminds of a sorority girl that put on the mandatory 5-15 pounds over her freshmen winter months, and is now trying to squeeze back into her summer outfits and is realizing just how big she’s gotten, so she starts fucking 2-3 guys a weekend to feel better about herself.

  26. Amused

    I felt bad for her at first but now all my sympathy is gone, she’s an annoying attention whore, and nobody looks good in clothes that are 3 sizes too small..adding a bigger button-up doesn’t make it look better either, nor does it make her ‘country’

  27. Samantha

    I saw her Friday night with Rascal Flatts in San Diego (“outside LA.” that cracks me up) and she looked damn good! :O) She can wear daisy dukes anytime! She looked hot and the singing wasn’t so bad either….

  28. Samantha

    I saw her Friday night with Rascal Flatts in San Diego (“outside LA.” that cracks me up) and she looked damn good! :O) She can wear daisy dukes anytime! She looked hot and the singing wasn’t so bad either….

  29. Fati

    I think the bigger issue here is when she is going to finally reveal that she is pregnant. Or is she gonna let us find out on our own?

  30. kingofbeer

    She looks pretty good imo. I like the curves.

  31. heather

    I NEVER comment but I HAD to give some Arrested Development love! Amazingness!

  32. maeby

    dugg for arrested development reference

  33. LJ

    Nein Wohlstandig Nude

  34. Kristen

    hahaha a never nude. That makes things awkward at the Korean spa.

  35. justifiable

    #30 Fati, if you can’t tell a pregnancy bump from all-over weight gain from too much wings, pizza, beer, guacamole, nachos and funnel cake stay the hell out of Acapulco and Papa Ginos. It’ll only be embarassing for you when you try to file a paternity suit against them.

  36. supersex

    i love this bitch

  37. ItsFullOfPoop

    When you say “outside Los Angeles’ do you mean “strip mall in the desert”?

  38. Golgo13

    Marvel should cast her as the new Thor. Or maybe Joe Ruby’s Thundarr the Barbarian. Or not…

  39. sushi

    Just because she sings country music, doesn’t mean she needs to dress like she just walked out of her double wide trailer for her job at Walmart.

    She looks terrible and pathetic. Of course, she’ll have the last laugh when she announces that she and her trapped boyfriend are expecting.

  40. crabby old guy

    Perhaps something in a lovely MooMoo, Jessica. Now THAT’S what all the really “hot” babes are wearing!

    No. Really. I’m telling you the truth. As far as you know.

  41. Amanda

    Love the arrested development reference!

  42. Wachovia

    She has creepy short midget legs. Ew!

  43. I love the haters on here. EVERY SINGLE GUY on here would pay for an opportunity to taste her…and more. But thats ok, you fat asses keep sitting there making fun of her while eating your donuts, drinking your latte’s and taking in 4000 calories a day (and countless carbs).

    Shes a fucking HOT ASS woman and Id guarantee shes looks better than any of your wives, girlfriends, transvestite lovers or hermaphrodite partners (the last 2 thrown in to cover you west coast flakes).

    Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.

  44. Amber


  45. g_girl

    why did they take that show off? ;(

  46. missywissy

    This girl should quit trying so hard. She could be a real talent if she would just cool it with the southern girl act. I know she’s from Texas, but to me she just always seems like she’s trying to force the issue on everyone and using it to sell herself and it really falls flat. I liked her better when she dressed nice and sang pretty.

  47. Courtyardpigeon

    does this woman own a mirror?

  48. justifiable

    #44 Yeah yeah yeah, we’ll are jealous uggo fatties and haterz here – every 14 year old girl who still loved chubby Britty Spears when she shaved her head beat that one to death so you know where that puts you, dude. If you like the look, fine. But here’s a radical concept for ya, not everyone who dislikes thick muscular legs in strappy sandals under a body crammed into too-tight clothing is a jealous hating fatty. It’s called taste. We also know we have value and unlike Jessica we don’t have to dress like this out of desperation to prove it. If her looks are now a sexual turnoff because she indulged in a lot of overeating and she’s still promoting herself as sexy, people will react. accordingly. And just so you know Jessica won’t be calling to thank you and autograph your Sociology 101 textbook anytime soon.

  49. Bluth lover


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