Here’s Jessica Simpson doing the walk of shame from the Chateau Marmont where, according to the NY Post, she took a break from partying with Kirsten Dunst the other night to disappear into the room of Maroon 5′s Adam Levine – and didn’t emerge until the next morning. “She was picked up by her best friend, Cacee Cobb, that morning,” according to a source.
She doesn’t look too happy here. Herpes will do that to you. She’ll be lucky if that’s all she gets, because from all reports, Adam Levine is very dirty. We’re talking Paris at a penis convention dirty. Hopefully she got a shower.
Ah, the walk of shame!! Who hasn’t done that walk before? I guess everyone’s allowed to go a little nutty after a break up. I have to say she looks a little crappy. And like she wants to cry.
You’ll see her again in a week’s time all smiles and glamour. She does look like she got poonched all night. The woke up regretting it.
“What the hell did I do. Oh no! Nick is going to yell at me”. She still loves Nick. Look at that face.
Typo* then
This is nothing new. They were hooking up back in December. http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/exclusives/ jessica_simpson_gets_marooned_20051212.php
Is that a diaphram case in her hand?
Adam Levine must have either a) really sucked in bed b) had a really small penis or c) really have must been a woman…because i think someone would still look a little happier after getting some…even her.
This is about the least attractive she’s looked in public. Nice to see some nipplage on those apparently reduced boobies – they don’t look like “fashion accessories” now. With any luck, this is the beginning of Jessica’s slide into Britney/Tara/Paris land. Although now that Papa Joe finally has her all to himself he may just yank her out of the public eye altogether.
Are we sure that her dad wasn’t staying at that hotel?
Starting with this picture, Jessica will slowly decline from uber-hot to disgusting slob, ala Britney Spears. She needs to resist the urge to comb or wash her hair…but darn it if she doesn’t just have a ton of potential to look like crap on a stick.
While noticing how “average” Jessica looks in that photo I also noted “average” sized breasts.
Taking into account the loose cut of her shirt, there still should be some “strain” where her breast are, when one is supposidly so well endowed.
I think we’ve all been had via some heavy duty padding, well placed push up accessories and a lot of tape!
“Jessica Simpson was apparently able to withstand a full-on flirting assault from babe-magnet bachelor Adam Levine.The Maroon 5 frontman, who in recent weeks has been linked to Kirsten Dunst, Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Minnillo, worked his charms on the soon-to-be-ex Mrs.Lachey at the Chateau Marmont last week.
“He didn’t even look at anyone else,” a spy tells Us Weekly.”He was interested in Jessica.” The suddenly pillow-lipped starlet was hanging out with some girlfriends, including Eva Mendes, when Levine “came running over, pulled up a chair and insinuated himself into their conversation,” an insider recounts to the New York Post.But his wooing powers must have been on the fritz.The paper says Simpson, who has adamantly denied talk that she was friendly with the singer before her marriage fizzled, made a “speedy exit.” Adds a Jessica insider to Us, “She knows he is a naughty boy and flirts with a lot of girls.” .”
Hmm I wonder which one is true?
Source: http://entertainment1.sympatico.msn.ca/Celebs/Gossip/ContentPosting.aspx?contentid=a0212b9599d841988bb3ec7f6888f9e8&show=False&number=0&showbyline=False&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc
To me that look says “oh my god, you mean Nick DIDN’T have a big penis? That lying scumbag! All this time I just thought I was incapable of orgasm.”
Why does she always look like a 4 year old who cant have candy
I bet she’s bummed out in this pic because she just found out that adam levine was gay.
Look at the smeared mascara under her eyes. Clearly a tale-tale sign…
“Realistic on January 27, 2006 10:37 AM
Is that a diaphram case in her hand?”
I’m fairly sure it’s a PDA.
You know, if that is a PDA she may just be mad that he refused to give her his number. Look at her face! “I was a one nighter to some scum bag!?… Oh, there are cameras I shouldn’t cry now.”
She needs to do like Clay Aiken and get some anonymous lovin’ over the net. That seems to work out well, and nobody ever tells.
You know, she really does look a bit like Briteney Spears in that picture. Except for the flies.
Even if this is the least attractive she has looked in public, she is still probably hotter than any of us.
Adam Levine does have a small dick. She is probably pissed that the first person she slept with after Nick was such a let down.
Or, they weren’t able to do the nasty smacky cause he couldn’t get mr. penis up. That’s more of a look of shame and awkwardness. And I think that’s an IPod she has.
I hate to say it, but I actually think she looks prettier HERE (except for the furrowed chin) than when she’s overdone by stylists… Her hair and skin look more pleasantly natural…
That said, I haven’t had any caffeine yet this morning and I need lasik…
I agree with habafall, it really does look like an Ipod. I think there are even headphones dangling from her hand, but I could be wrong.
i really hope she f*cks every penis in hollywood. Nick is such a whore, i don’t see why she can’t have her fill either.
* FACK FACK FAAAACK
I think i’m going to come
..I’m comming *
- Eminem
That’s not an iPod or a regular PDA — it’s a Nokia Sidekick II. The same type of phone/PDA that Paris Hilton had when she was hit and (more) of her chesticles ended up on the interweb.
Duh, it is not a diaphram case. Who uses diaphrams these days?? Um, hello, birth control pills and CONDOMS. Even she is smart enough to know to use a condom with someone like him.
Diffuse celebrity DNA always coagulates in an anti-centrifugal manner, leading its code-bearers into each other’s spheres of influence, hotel rooms and home theaters. Jessica and Adam’s pseudo-conjugal slumber party was predestined by biology and weak electrical impuses emanating from their smooth noodle maps and nether regions (which, like a shark’s nose, are finely tuned electrical divining rods). If Mr. Levine crooned ” … and she will be loved …” to the divorcee, then it’s simply a case of survival of the fittest. Miss Simpson’s boots were made for walkin’ in such a matutinal manner. It was always thus.
=========
Got a suprize from my honey
Got a message from my girl
When she picked up a pen
From beside her bed
And wrote me a scribble-note
Said she’d be comin’ back to see me
She would be visiting real soon
Gonna get up from this long, white bed
And leave this cold, white room
Wa-hoo!
jesus Levine is ugly and his voice makes me want to throw glass across the room.
she can do SO much better.
I must say even in her disheveled state she is still WAY prettier than Ashlee.
I agree with you, #23. Nick was probably out f*cking anyone he could find as soon as she said she wanted a divorce. Let her have some fun, too.
Like so many dumb bitches, she thought that opening her legs and letting some punk empty his nads into her would make her feel she was getting even with lil’nicky, and that she can do what the men do. Instead, she, like most other girls, only feels dirty and cheap, hence the tears as she realizes the world is about to know precisely what she did. Now the Hoe label attaches for someone who prized her morality until now.. The song remains the same…. Boy, hasn’t NOW done so much to liberate women!
Adam Levine does have a minuscule penis. even with a couple of fingers in the mix, I still had PLENTY of room.
Of course, I am on the waiting list for this new vagina-reduction surgery…..so maybe it’s just me.
oh wait….this guy is a singer? My bad-I thought we were talking about the Adam Levine who owns the dry-cleaners on my block. Whoopsie!
also, forgot to add that Nick has definitely been sleeping with a young girl in Da’Nati for many, many years-her father owns several restaurants here, and apparently she took care of him during his engagement, while Jess was ‘saving herself for marriage’.
I feel a little skanky passing that on, because I know it’s true, as the college girls who babysits my kids told me that her friend Lindsay went to high school with The Substitute Poontang. Now, feel sad for my kids. They are playing nicely while mommy types REALLY stupid gossip. I am such a Superficial addict. Someone call child services.
Haha! mrs.t’s comment made my DAY!
I bet she’s going to go back home, sit on her father’s lap and tell him all about it.
Re: #8….
Ewwww! EWWWWWWWW that’s so nasty!
moving on…Adam Levine is a pretty dorky name…he should do the Winona thing and change it.
Actually, there’s nothing wrong with the way she looks. Just because she’s not wearing makeup and has unstyled hair doesn’t mean she looks messed up. I don’t know about you all, but I’m thinking she looks WAY better without all the raccoon eyes and makeup and pulled back “glam” hair. Natural free flowing hair and no makeup becomes her. She has good skin and a pretty face and naturally blonde hair. For once she actually looks normal and sweet, instead of her usual crazy bug eyed, manic grin thing and fake posing for the cameras. It’s good to see that she actually DOES look normal, natural and pretty under all that makeup and Hollyweird fakeness!!!!!!!!! Why can’t she rock the natural look all the time??
Wow, looks like the proactive is working.
I guess we could cut her a break, this is her first walk of shame….Don’t worry Jess it will get easier.
I love it when girls who save themselves for marriage get divorced and start whorin’ around!
That’s a T-Mobile Sidekick. I’ve seen hers and thank god it ain’t as fucked as Paris Hilton’s.
If she fucked Adam Levine, good for him. That motherfucker would be lucky if a sheep let him stick it in. And in a way, mentally, Jessica is kinda like a sheep.
But a sheep with perky breasts.
Didn’t anyone eles notice that she’s wearing a GUYS shirt??…look at the way it buttons up!!..Of course she slept with him-I’m sure she didn’t want to come out of the place in the same dress she wore the night before…so,she asked HIM for a shirt to wear…girls always do this…it’s happened to me a few times.
Why is everyone ripping on Levine as if he’s a bad lay or is less endowed…I bet Jess is the bad lay here! Why would she need to learn how to f*ck…she’s pretty, rich, and has huge tits. I bet the words “Eeeww” and “You want me to what?” and “You can’t be serious.” comes out of her mouth each time she has sex.
Didn’t she get lip implants? She doesn’t look like she’s pouting to me.
Her Dad is getting pretty lazy – now he’s just straight-up whoreing her out by the hour. He used to be more subtle.
It’s obvious that she’s still stunned by the fact that, “He put it where I make doody from.” Guess Nick wasn’t much for the old balloon knot…
And that’s one to grow on.
Maybe Adam sang to her. That would explain why she looks like she going to puke.
It’s all for show. Inside she’s ecstatic but, she can’t show it for fear of her fans labeling her as being heartless. This explains all the emotional stressed out expressions.
This was most likely a coaching session from her daddy. “Now Jesse baby, you have to act like your divorce is heartbreaking. Okay hot cakes?” Accompanied with a creepy rub on her lower back side, and a sniff of her hair.
Who is she kidding. She’s leaving his hotel!
I vote no bra; that’s why they don’t like as largetastic as usual.
Ditto, the mrs.t comments are funny as hell. What’s better than getting the dirt from a superficial addict?
Nothing.
That skanky ho Jessica. I’ll give a reason to turn that frown upside down.
HeeHaw, you are on crack if you think that is her natural hair color. Here is a tip for telling natural blonde hair from dyed (besides that it just looks like an incredibly fake color): with natural blond hair the top layer, which is exposed to sun, will generally be substantially lighter than the underside of the hair, not just the same color throughout.
I would cry too if I was spotted with Adam Levine. I would also be wondering what kind of drugs I had been slipped to have such poor judgment.
okay, back to his small penis: my husband just walked through the room and said, “It’s like throwing a sausage down a hallway.”
Not referring to himself and me pre-surgery, you sick fucks.
Adam Levine. With the small penis. Inside ANY adult.
Anyhow, that phrase with the sausage has me in tears.