Jessica Simpson might be a cow

January 5th, 2007 // 103 Comments

jessica-simpson-fat.jpgIs that mean? Is that mean of me to call Jessica Simpson a cow just because she looks like she gained 80 pounds and forgot how to walk? I mean I don’t want to be mean. So if that’s mean just pretend I didn’t even say it. Because she’s not a cow. She’s a person. With feelings. And emotions. And possibly hooves where her feet should be.

Thanks to the sextacular Kelly for the tip. I hear she once made Brad Pitt orgasm just by winking at him.

NOTE: Turns out she’s filming an ad for Pizza Hut here, which I think really helps her case against being a cow. I mean geez, she might as well be doing a public service announcement for mayonnaise.


  1. I guess she’s on the same diet as Tony Romo, have you seen the latest pics?

  2. Desigirl

    i dont even like any jessica celebs but yall are mean…im a size 0 and asian and my stomach still looks like that in a dress! it’s not cuz she’s fat, its cuz dresses dont have any visual separation between the stomach and pelvis!! since the pelvis goes inward the stomach looks like its protruding even tho it’s not!! if this doesn’t happen to you, it means you’re A MAN!

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