Jessica Simpson headed off to Mexico with her mom and dad after Ashlee’s weekend wedding. Fortunately, the paparazzi followed her and managed to catch Jessica, I do not shitteth upon thee, giving herself a breast exam and chilling in a bikini. On the flip-side, these pics are a little grainy, so you’ll have to use your imagination like I am. Right now Jessica Simpson is covering her ample bosom with suntan lotion while Snarf from ThunderCats watches. And, oh, hey, here comes Ariel the Little Mermaid with some pudding. Ha ha! I smell food fight. Snarf, that’d be your cue to leave. This is man business.
Photos: Flynet
ph7 | May 21, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Ok, I’ll say it: Nice tits!
Guy Leflour | May 21, 2008 at 4:27 pm
It’s like, I should be seeing boobs, but boobs aren’t there…
Nich Lachay | May 21, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I miss her
FIRST
HuckyDucky | May 21, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I second that.
GalPal | May 21, 2008 at 4:30 pm
She’s masterbating!
JRS | May 21, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Maybe next time instead of using a cheap ass camera phone, they can get one of those ancient flashbulb cameras.
anna | May 21, 2008 at 4:39 pm
wow she is sooooo hot
http://digitalfuntown.squarespace.com/dft-blog/2008/4/23/short-shorts-sext-messaging.html
Tapeworm | May 21, 2008 at 4:40 pm
What a dumb cunt.
anna | May 21, 2008 at 4:40 pm
there
havoc | May 21, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Someone actually made money from these photos?
Maybe try a photography class at your local community college.
Knowledge is Power!
.
Jackson | May 21, 2008 at 4:42 pm
(Back by popular demand)
I think Jessica Simpson has great NATURAL CURVES which is unlike Kim Kardaskank’s FAT INDUCED CURVES plus her implants to make her body look balanced, get attention, and fix her pear shaped figure. Jessica has a GREAT NATURAL RACK whereas Kim has those FAKE IMPLANTS that feel weird and unnatural. Give me a natural rack any day! Jessica does not cover her tight shapely ass when wearing a swim suit which is unlike Kim Kardaskank because she has to cover her big fat loose wide cellulite sagging ass with a towel or sarong. Kim only shows her huge ass when it has been photoshopped or airbrushed because she knows she is your typical fat Amercian that relies on girdles and body shapers to improve her body unlike Jessica Simpson.
axel | May 21, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Maybe next time instead of using a cheap ass camera phone, they can get one of those ancient flashbulb cameras.
or better yet, a daguerreotype
ribachini | May 21, 2008 at 4:47 pm
JACKSON
you are insane
you come on here everyday and say exactly why every woman is better than kim kardaskank
we get it, really
kim is gross and other people arent as gross.
cool. go find someone to have sex with you
jesse | May 21, 2008 at 4:54 pm
@13
Aint gonna happen
1 MILF Hunter | May 21, 2008 at 4:55 pm
I could’ve helped with that exam if she would have asked. I give a very thorough oral exam.
Every (aryan) woman is better than Kardaskank | May 21, 2008 at 4:56 pm
13. ribachini
Yeah this is true. Kim is an artificial pig. Fake tits, fake ass, nose job to hide
her heritage, let’s black guy piss on her, covers herself up, etc. Why are you defending her? You obviously identify with her therefore you too are a black haired non causcasion fat pig. It’s ok though.
NO. It’s not. Maybe you haven’t caught on yet here. Some of us (the super cools like me) hate fat pigs. It’s that simple. Like you.
No go get yourself another big chunk of that self-medicating cake you have been grazing on all day. It will make you feel better. (cow)
Superevil | May 21, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Yawn….
sportsdvl | May 21, 2008 at 5:00 pm
That stupid bimbo isn’t giving herself a breast exam. Romo told her he wanted to fuck her tits and she feeling around for a pussy (’cause she’s retarded – get it)
Jackson | May 21, 2008 at 5:03 pm
#13
I forgot about the nose job! Thanks dude! I’ll have to add it in my Kim Kardaskank comments.
NY Ted | May 21, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Where is Tony Bozo…??? Probably rubbing sun tan oil on some bitches tits on the mainland…!!! With multiple drinks in hand no doubt!
Jackson | May 21, 2008 at 5:07 pm
My mistake, my comment was meant for #16.
Dave | May 21, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Tits! Damn pap should get himself a decent camera!
Randal | May 21, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Thankfully, Jessica Simpson is more than just ample breasts. She’s done an excellent job as an actress and a singer, even though she’s known for the Chicken of the Sea bit, a genius spat of words from her that keeps Jessica fresh in our minds.
Looking forward to your next big thing girl!
Randal
Koko | May 21, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Blurriest. Photos. Ever!
AJ | May 21, 2008 at 5:28 pm
#23
Jessica is cute and has a nice figure. She managed to make millions off her movie flops. Her albums were flops too. She needs to take voice lessons so she that annoying breathy sound while singing.
Kingsley Amis | May 21, 2008 at 5:31 pm
She’s terrific. Yes, she’ll never win a Nobel Prize for Medicine, but she’s gracious and has a fantastic body. Those babies are natural. She was made well and she is proud of what she’s got. Grainy, shmainy, at least these aren’t pictures of that pig Kim or the idiotic Hills cast.
Joe Simpson | May 21, 2008 at 5:33 pm
BOING!!! She’s mine. All mine.
mrs.t | May 21, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Randal,
Thanks for my afternoon dose of crazy.
I love me some nonsensical Randal posts.
Sincerely,
mrs. t
Shep | May 21, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Next time, leave the Captain Crunch camera in the cereal box for the kids.
creepy | May 21, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Those were probably taken by her dad on his camera phone. So very creepy, that guy.
OC Dee | May 21, 2008 at 5:58 pm
#6, #22, #29
I love the camera comments! They are hilarious!
Come-Honor-Face | May 21, 2008 at 6:17 pm
these pics suck. for the piece of ass that she is, this is hardly worth whacking off to.
and @30, you are prob right
malicious | May 21, 2008 at 6:26 pm
good photos Joe! dirty bastard
Barack Obama | May 21, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Now that’s a pretty piece of female meat. I hope that one day my angry bitch wife will change into sweet, sweet Jessica. She is the one I have been waiting for. Yum!
Stoney | May 21, 2008 at 6:37 pm
As bad as the blur is you can still see those big ass Chiclet teeth. This skeez is way too over-rated.
Tony Romo's taint | May 21, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Pfft big fucking deal. I do that on the bus all the time.
sara | May 21, 2008 at 6:43 pm
whoever said jessica’s breasts are natural is really, REALLY confused.
AURA | May 21, 2008 at 6:44 pm
SALMA HAYEK & HALLE BERRY ARE THE BEST…
Pepper | May 21, 2008 at 6:52 pm
these pics are freaking creepy, like some kind of perv.
The girl is undressing and checking her boobs…….come on paps show some respect
HALLE BERRY HAS THOSE UGLY HARD IMPLANTS. | May 21, 2008 at 6:55 pm
38
HALLE BERRY HAS THOSE UGLY HARD IMPLANTS.
Gia | May 21, 2008 at 6:59 pm
#37
You are confused because you have seen too many implants. Jessica is all natural. Check out the following video showing her bouncing boobs. Implants do not bounce like natural boobs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdV-3YMnTtI
sara | May 21, 2008 at 7:18 pm
http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/archives/j_simpson_tits2.jpg
riiiight.. totally natural!!
Scotter | May 21, 2008 at 7:24 pm
I just thought I would beat the Russian Mob to the punch ….
Cash | May 21, 2008 at 7:46 pm
The hell were these taken with, a 3 year old camera phone?
cobalt | May 21, 2008 at 7:54 pm
That should probably be “I Shit Not upon thee”, I think.
I’ve seen Russian spy satellites provide better quality pics than this. Having said that the snapper was probably about 5 miles away at the time.
Nansita | May 21, 2008 at 8:41 pm
OK kids……..do ya THINK that maybe she thought there was something in her bikini top? No….not her boobs. Just something that was bothering her? Sand, an itchy tag, maybe even a bug? I know that’s not as much fun as “OMG she’s masterbating!” Puleeze!
Binky | May 21, 2008 at 9:13 pm
So, been watching a bit of TV. So far ZZ-top, Bryan Adams, Seal, etc have all been on American Idol – which is known already as the Death Star of opposing TV shows.
Cliff Notes : That’s interesting Bink. Who’s on Larry King tonight ?
Binky : Jesse Ventura, who was just on Howard Stern today saying 9/11 was an inside job. Like even just the scheduling points out, or – highlights – or like, screams – 9/11 was an inside job.
Cliff Notes : Well Bink, the American public aren’t all up on the Nielsen’s.
TREE | May 21, 2008 at 9:16 pm
She looks beautiful and large sexy. I saw her new sexy photos on site “W e a l t h y L o v I n g . co m ” last week. It is said she is dating young billlaionaire on that site.
alisa | May 21, 2008 at 9:22 pm
#16 and # 11 you two are so naive. look for a picture of kim as a child. it was shown on a show about oj simpson on E! and they showed a family picture. same nose! maybe she had a little lip work done but that picture going around the internet that claims to be her isnt. doesnt look one bit like her… its just an ugly armenian. and her ass is real kourtney and khloe have big asses too! god you people are pathetic. as for the tits… honestly who cares….. everyone on this site makes fun of girls with saggy boobs aka real boobs that just arent bolt ons. hers at least look natural
Andres | May 21, 2008 at 9:25 pm
At #46: I agree with you, but why even bother, what can you expect from a dumbass who can’t even spell -masturbating- correctly?