Jessica Simpson loves meat

June 16th, 2008 // 104 Comments

Jessica Simpson was spotted at LAX this weekend wearing a T-shirt that reads “Real Girls Eat Meat.” Ha, adorable. I also love funny T’s and whipped up one that I think she’ll love. It reads: “Jessica Simpson shouldn’t wear T-shirts. Or any clothing in the chest vicinity through the near to foreseeable future.” Catchy, I know. Now all I need is a sweatshop… Anyone getting bored with their kids?


  1. Megan

    Why haven’t I seen this breaking news story on Fox yet?

  2. Randy

    Does this means she swallows?

  3. emjay

    where are her feet?

  4. swine

    I would eat her puss like it was filet mignon.

  5. Tommy Sneakers

    I got some beef jerky

  6. Are those the new T-Shirts Joe is selling?

  7. Kingsley Amis

    That she has to share this page with that skag Heidi is a sin, a crime against humanity.

  8. Lola

    she loves red meat…. the other red meat…. ha ha ha ha ha ha….. and yes i’m sure she swallows too
    it’s so sad celebrities nowadays try to get attention with their tackiness….

  9. deacon jones

    Do you think Romo just whips his dick out and pushes her head down whenever she opens her mouth to talk?

  10. deacon jones is an idiot

    enough said

  11. Those were her vocabulary words for the month. Apparently, someone else spelled them out for her, as the original t shirt read: REEL GOILS EET MEET

  12. Foxy

    As in real girls give head? or lamb chops…which is it Jessica. Be Clear.

    that is such a dumbass t-shirt – oh look at me i’m so witty! I have slogans on my titties!

  13. douche

    this actually… slightly increases my opinion of her.

    (in during eight billion terrible blowjob jokes)

  14. Lola

    #12…. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha….. ROTFL….. that’s freaking hilarious…. well said

  15. Unfortunately for her her gay boyfriend eats meat too

  16. Ted Mosby

    Ashlee’s boobs are leading in the polls.

  17. It’s a funny shirt, but this story would’ve been 100x better if Romo had been wearing a t-shirt that said, “It ain’t going to suck itself!”

  18. Ted from LA

    Real women don’t refer to themselves as girls.

    Real pigs wear t-shirts with sexual innuendos on their tits.

  19. Does anyone know if she prefers kosher meat?

  20. deacon jones

    Whoops. Looks like I offended someone. Is Mike in here today?

  21. mike

    Did you all hear the good news? My goat and I are leaving for California this afternoon and we are getting married tomorrow.

  22. deacon jones

    Nice Mike! Congratulations!!

    I couldve sworn you’s end up with a man-hating feminist with thunder thighs, but alas, to each their own!

  23. Ted from LA

    Congratulations Mike. I wish you and your goat many years of happiness.

    As for Jessica, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers. I’d kick her out of bed for being an annoying airhead.

  24. I would be the one kicked out of bed for eating a cracker if my wife caught her thighs impersonating earmuffs around my head…

  25. nipolian

    Too bad Romo is carrying that fag bag…..It gays up the shirt that he is wearing that is actually a pretty cool shirt if it is a reference to the movie “Hoosiers”………But knowing him……he probably just thought it was a pretty color.

  26. Auntie Kryst

    Real Dumbfucking Girls think buffaloes have wings..

  27. eyepopper

    Judging by the width of Simpson’s gob, she could accommodate three above-average girths in there, plus room for five more.

  28. HeidoHo

    WTF, She doesnt have any feet. (pic 12)
    I don’t have a super foot fetish (Ie – not totally grossed by the stray vestigal digit), but I want my chick to have both feet.

  29. No wonder Jessica’s weight goes up and down all the time. Eating red meat slows down the metabolism and takes days to digest. I am vegetarian so my weight stays the same or goes down several pounds. It would be nice if US consumers demanded better regulations for factory farms. Factory farms inject the live stock with so much crap that it is no wonder a lot of people are getting cancer.

  30. mike

    Deacon, Will you be the best man?

  31. gotmilk?

    i love how she started wearing that hat when she started dating him. bitch, if you’re going to be a fan, be a real fan, not one just because you’re fucking the quarterback.

  32. Jae

    Yeah, omg dude. Where are her fucking feet in the last picture?

  33. deacon jones

    If I can get a turn with your bride

  34. Harry Ballzack

    So ?

  35. AllieCat

    i know she enjoy’s Tony’s meat

  36. Amen Happy Veg, she should probably watch “Earthlings” too.

    After you’ve seen what happens to animals before they get to your plate, you’ll probably never be able to look at meat again.

  37. monkeyfightclub

    god damn she’s built.

  38. #31 – I agree… there’s a place for all of god’s creatures… right next to the mashed potatoes…

  39. el ces

    Hmm, nothing about Mary Kate and Ashely Olsen’s or Kendra Wilkinson’s (Playboy, Girls Next Door) birthdays?

    How come?

  40. This is purely HORSESHIT and I guess even your person knows THAT!!

  41. Me

    Someone needs to tell Jess that football season hasn’t started yet.

  42. OC Dee


    I agree!

  43. Quinn

    If she’s refering to blow jobs, yeah I’ll test her girlhood for her.
    If she’s refering to her dinner, that explains why she sometimes looks bloated and greasy.
    Sexy thin girls are usually vegetarian, sorry to break that to you.

  44. PunkA

    Too bad Romo ain’t got enough meat to satisfy any woman. Is small unit comes out every year in the playoffs. No sack on that guy. Guess that is why JS was advertising her love for sausage. She needs some real meat.

  45. robes

    Stifler , Knoxville and now this t-shirt….she does need help and I’m sure Romo is just there for the exercise.

  46. dave

    She is officially on PETA’s shitlist now. She is dismissing vegaterian females as NOT being human and I think this is just a fucking angle to get in decent with the country music crowd, because her new album reeks of a shit bomb. REAL GIRLS EAT MEAT YALL. Classy and cultured….she’s a grade A idiot.

  47. alex


  48. duh

    This chick has the worst taste in ..meat!

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