Jessica Simpson launches things

November 5th, 2007 // 63 Comments
1105_jessica_simpson_macys_00.jpg

Jessica Simpson posed for the cameras as she introduced her new clothing line at Macy’s Herald Square in New York City. So does the entire line consist of a pink set of heels and a black leather purse? Because, honestly, I’m impressed. When I heard Jessica Simpson had a clothing line I expected it to be at best a pair of Play-Doh earrings. And, maybe, a beach towel covered in spaghetti sauce. You know, if she really put her mind to it and dared to dream and stuff.

Photos: Getty Images, Splash News

  1. k. dunst is better than all these broads

    yea, well i’m going to launch her ignorant ass to the moon.

  2. Guy

    I bet she had no input into the design apart from saying it should be ‘sexy’

  3. ph7

    She launched my erection!

  4. Mystress Jade

    It looks like she’s wearing my mom’s drapes and Britney’s shitty brown boots.

  5. Tony

    I picked up one of Jessica’s signature macaroni necklaces for my girlfriend and my girlfriend was like, “I’m not gonna wear a fucking macaroni necklace.”

  6. spy

    Perfect body and face…… dumb as dirt……She might be a Fembot.

  7. cowgirl

    Is she selling clothes or boobs cuz I can’t tell? She should call her line “cleavaje” with a French accent and sell it at Tarjay

  8. Sher

    Jessica Simpson the brainless wonder…
    No matter how dumb she gets, I always think of her in that Boots Are Made For Walkin Video and her stupidity just no longer matters…
    Not to mention I’d tap that long before I’d hook up with Vanessa Manillo-
    Can we say bowwow???

  9. holla@meh

    love jessica simpson’s shoe line. she did a good job with the hottest trends right now.

  10. MrSemprini

    Did Jess get the boots idea from Brit or did Brit get it from Jess? Enquiring minds want to know…

    Lets gather together in a moment of silence for “Dog” Chapman’s career…

  11. toolboy

    The piece of paper she’s reading has life instructions on it.
    1. Breathe in.
    2. Breathe out.
    3. Repeat as necessary.

  12. Ooba Gooba

    Jessica Simpson: Please fuck off. You don’t matter.

    Thanks.

  13. Ooba Gooba

    Jessica Simpson: Please fuck off. You don’t matter.

    Thanks.

  14. The look in your eyes are just very dumb. Although there is one person behind the two simpson-girls who is quite a bright AND tricky one. But he has the “MISTAKE” that he is believing his own myth/status. He don’t let the girls become to smart. BUT SHOW YOUR TITS and he loves to play the cash-man!!

  15. Yes and No

    This girl has no style whatsoever, even with a stylist. Who would buy her trashy clothes given her poor taste in fashion?

  16. ha8ter

    Her outfit is very Britney-esque, right down to the fugly boots.

  17. no beaver shot or DUI arrest? boo!

  18. ha8ter

    Gerard Vandenburg- you should be a Saturday Night Live skit.

  19. VG

    #3 – you read my mind, but in order to conserve energy, let’s launch her gross sister as well… maybe her dad too? And why not nick lache while we’re at it…

  20. Goog God. what is she wearing? looks like she cut off the bottom half of a 70′s moomoo

    How do you spell moomoo?

  21. How do you spell good?

    G-O-O-G?

    I’m retarded today, what do you want from me. It’s fucking Monday.

  22. Gerald_Tarrant

    I dig this chick. She’s my favorite type. The type that believes I’m just going to put the tip in.

  23. breezy

    Don’t hate on Jessica…at least she’s not out there making a train-wreck of herself like Britney.

  24. bob

    jessica is lick-a-lishous

  25. sportsdvl

    #25 – I’d think it was Jessica herself who posted that but we all know Jessica is afraid of the “magic box” and that “Internetish” thing.

  26. Emmyem

    So lame. Again, the real Mr. Superficial has left the building and his evil imposter is at it again. Posting photos of JESSICA SIMPSON, and the “Laser beams” crotch and “nads” thing. Everything has it’s place, Mr. Fish, if that IS your real name. This is just not funny. And Jessica’s boobs? She’s not only NOT Sperficial-worthy (unless she falls on her face, or gains a hundred pounds or something), she’s nothing worthy. Whatever………boring…………

  27. She’s a dumb cunt, but you gotta love that Macy’s commercial where she calls and bitches about the doors being locked, only to be told that she has to pull to open them.
    That’s funnier than anything the Fish has written today.

  28. Dick Richards

    I imagine that Jessica’s line of clothing is personally sanctioned by the Holy-Ghost. Jesus loves fashion.

  29. Vince Lombardi

    I’m sorry, but I fail to see the need to cap on Jessica Simpson. Sure, she’s famous mostly for her looks, as are 98% of The Superficial, but she’s created her 15 minutes legitimately. She’s a talented singer, she clearly gets the fact she’s a caricature of Hollywood (Macy’s commercial) and is okay laughing at herself. I can forgive her blonde-in-a-bottle look and her raccoon makeup.

    But she presents herself well – no chalupa runs, no babies popping out, no STDs, no sex videos, and no rich bitch attitude that I’ve detected. Think of one other woman on this site who would have allowed Macy’s to make that commercial with her at the door – Pam Anderson notwithstanding. You can’t. Because they all BELIEVE they are someone important and above that kind of thing. Simpson strikes me as about as grounded as they come. For that alone she gets props. She also has the pipes to carry a song.

    Not to say she didn’t have her moments – she nearly went completely to the dark side with her newlywed reality show – but I think she made a fantastic rebound from that. So she hawks clothing and perfume. So does every other celebrity. The stuff isn’t trash or make women look like more of a whore than they are already. She’s only selling to the demand. And that, my friends, is capitalism at its finest.

  30. WTF?

    @ 7.

    Tony ~ LOL! The macaroni necklace…excellent!

    “FRIST!!” I think “moomoo” is “muu-muu.” But I’m not certain on that “brah.”

    BTW ~ Mondays suck ass!

  31. Shallo Val

    “her new clothing line” (sigh)

    She designs clothes like Britney and Paris write books; they don’t. HEr new clothing line….I can’t get past that. I have nothing else to say….

  32. PapaJoeSimpson

    man-face

  33. Valerie hates talentless hacks and stupid cunts like breezy

    25 – breezy

    Is your name the same sound you hear between your ears? Get the fuck off this site, princess.

    Anyone show says “hate on” is no more than 16 years old. Go to school.

  34. Valerie hates talentless hacks and stupid cunts like breezy

    “who” not show.

  35. Nallie

    Cheers! #35

  36. lamb

    ahh DitsyPornish lookingJessica
    i like the purple shoes

  37. Andrea

    Hey 35…you should really take that anger and hostility and turn it into something useful, instead of being bitter and hiding behind your computer screen and making fun of celebrities and other readers of this site. We’re all here for a little celebrity gossip and something to do on our lunch breaks, there’s no need to attack people because you don’t like their opinion. You need to lighten up, my friend. Number 31 also stuck up for Jessica, but you didn’t rag on her/him. Think before you speak.

  38. Steve

    #35 can’t form proper sentences, either. Didn’t your mother teach you if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all? You probably hate babies and puppies and push old ladies down the stairs. Get a life.

  39. Valerie hates talentless hacks and stupid cunts like 35 and breezy

    STFU Andrea. I’m a little horny, like my pie, bitch.

    THIS IS THE SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE. Not, happy candyland, so stuff you’re pseudo-psychology and pat therapy, get a backbone and start fightning back because I am not sugar coating anything here. No one is mad or bitter but READ THE GODDAMN TOP OF THE PAGE ( fluffy bunnies need not apply.)

    Get off the site breezy/andrea. I can do this all day and you WILL lose.

  40. Valerie hates talentless hacks and stupid cunts like melissa

    Steve, get the broom out of your ass and mind your own.

    GOD I miss the old crowd like PapaHotNuts, I even miss KraziHotKelli.

    Thank you Nalli, you rock for being REAL!

  41. Valerie hates talentless hacks and says fuck too

    Oh and Steve ole buddy ole fag, show me what is improper about my sentences. No fragments there (except this one). Each sentence is fully-functioning so what the fuck are you talking about? You new jacks think you can come in here and try to make us into a bunch of marshmallows; sorry, t’aint happening. (hehe, I said taint)

  42. LayDeeBug

    Wow, we’ve needed a good cop bad cop fight in here. Nice and refreshing…..

  43. Valerie hates talentless hacks and says fuck too

    Nothing???? C’mon, this is the highlight of my day. (kicks the dirt and says “shoot”)

  44. Valerie is a jealous douche bag

    Valerie needs anger management…and has time to “do this all day” because she doesn’t have a life…or a job, she lives off welfare and doesn’t have any teeth.

    P.S. Jessica is hot.

  45. Valerie hates talentless hacks

    46 – Finally….I thought I was the only one in this room. YEah, that’s right….please keep it coming, at least there’s someone else in this room to tell me to fuck off. All this PC niceness is just making me gag.

    Oh, BTW 46, Fuck you.

  46. Valerie hates talentless hacks and stupid cunts like myself (yeah I wrote this, I can insult myelf)

    Oh yeah, she’s pretty. Definitely. I even like her nose; it has character. I respect her for not having it fixed like her no-talent sister.

    It doesn’t make her a designer, though, and it doesn’t place her above reproach either.

  47. Valerie hates talentless hacks and says fuck too

    In all seriousness folks, I have a lot of time (WAY TOO MUCH TIME) at work right now, but my problem is with people coming in here and telling people not to speak ill of celebrities, whom they don’t even know.

    So, who am I to talk bad about them, but who are YOU to defend them? Chew on that for a while. OH, and who are you to defend another poster? There’s another one. So, if you do that and you catch me on a PMS day, I’m gonna let anyone have it. SUPER-FISH-SHULLLLL. I’ve been here for five years so, please, stop with all the coochie-coo.

  48. PunkA

    She doesn’t like to fool around in the sack. She is lame. Just ask her ex. Way too high maintenance emotionally. Needs to get a clue.

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