Jessica Simpson, just a tad more to the right…

May 6th, 2010 // 70 Comments

I know it’s not cool or manly for guys to share their feelings, but if Jessica Simpson’s nipple would’ve popped out in these pics, I’d weep like an angel appeared before me to say my loved ones are happy on the other side. If not more.

But I’m still tough! *punches a bear*


  1. I’m waiting for all the fat jokes to start even though they’re bogus. She could tone her arms a bit, but that girl is all titties.

  2. hoadf

    Im sorry but I would love to fuck her. You know she is a little slut in the bedroom and can take good dick. Look at that rack.

  3. salsa

    She’s the best!

    Oh yeah, I’d HIT IT!

  4. Awesome, you’ve managed to turn your entire site in to a hyperlink to a fucking ad. So fucking fail!

  5. i acknowledge the humor in the writing.

  6. Sheena Queen of the Jugs

    Holy crap. Those gorgeous globes make even me want to motorboat ‘em! You go, Jessica, work those titties girlfriend!

  7. Tek

    Fish, you haven’t been funny/witty since forever. Maybe it’s time to hang the keyboard up and let someone else take over for a while?

    Oh yeah, and the ‘fat’ jokes start in 3…2…1…

  8. bar room hero

    She is not fat, she is built perfectly for sex.

    I love thick women.

    However, she is a total, mind controlled, no talent slag…

  9. mike nike

    I would rip her bum cheeks apart and suck on her bumhole for hours!!! :-P Giggity Giggity Alright!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Jimbol

    Smart move – expose the cleavage so no one looks at your fat everything else.

  11. ** Makes involuntary squeezy motion with hands **

  12. oh i know

    THIS is a perfect example of wearing the RIGHT clothes for your body type! Whomever dressed Jes today she needs to KEEP! Compare, say, pic #11 to any one of the ‘yellow frock” photos from the other day and she looks 15 lbs lighter. STAY with this style Jessica, you look amazing!!

  13. havoc

    Damn…there’s those blue veins!

    I love that.


  14. Honestly

    I would hit that like a chubby hits a deep fried buffet. I would smear BBQ sauce all over those mammoth milk bags and suck them clean.

    I’m just keeping it real.

  15. Pic 3, ass needs a little work.

  16. Perfect t*ts and adorable hairdo. Keep those pictures coming!

  17. Matt69me

    I just heard that Jsimp will be the new Lane Bryant model/spokesperson
    SWEEEEET! Nothing wrong AT ALL with curvy women. Who wants bruises on there hip bones after fucking a superstick, i mean supermodel.

  18. Gregggo

    If this is a fat chick, than I must love fat chicks!
    Jessica Simpson looks wayyyyy sexy and hotttt here….

  19. fdgfd

    she should have opted to get a tummy tuck when she got the breast lift done like i am gonna do

  20. Joe Simpson


  21. Nice!

    Lots of jokes lately about her move toward supersizing but she’s smoking hot in these pics.

    Yes, I would hit that in a heartbeat, thank you very much!

  22. Rough to the bone

    I think pappy Joe should team Jess & Katy Perry as a new group. Might as well call em the ‘hanger sisters’. They both need a hit. This is the only generation, that’s been depraved of a ‘sister’ team phenomenon…

  23. tits

    All the comments talk about her tits being so hot but doesnt anyone remember that she got a breast lift to make them more perky because they were sagalicious? Well for some of you who dont know what that is, they cut the nipple off, cut a slit from the nipple hole down to the bottom of the breast, tighten it up and sew the nipple back on but higher up. Those are some scarred tatas. They still look great under clothes but not so much naked.

  24. sborraInBoca

    This bitch probably gives a world class blow job.

  25. See Alice

    That is Rackalicious

  26. Neorules2112

    I Love The Way her Boobs Rest on Her Keg Belly .
    Sexy !!!

  27. arealcad

    I’d hit that so hard, whoever pulled me out would be the next King of England.

  28. pimp

    i’d give this bitch a world class ass eating…

  29. bearandbu

    Even thick chics with floppy tits need love. Back the fuck off haters.

  30. bearandbu

    Even thick chics with floppy tits need love. Back the fuck off haters.

  31. imdisgusted

    I just wanted to say that most of these comments are DISGUSTING. The way that you all are talking about women is REPULSIVE. Get a life.

  32. Residing in Cosplay Hell’s outer ring you’ll find the poor creatures that were unfortunate enough to stumble into the possession of a cosplayer, and in-turn find themselves forced into public in a ridiculous costume. Their admission into the least damning rings also works in conjunction with that fact that, even in costume, they’re still usually pretty cute

  33. You do not know who she is fine for some, they cut off the nipple, nipple pierced a hole under the breast, to strengthen it to cut down on the nipple but the high back up and sew.

  34. IKE


  35. Cartman

    I would love to give her a pearl necklace.

  36. Your article is very excellent.

  37. captain america

    …………….please try thisone: 1 + 1 =?

  38. girlguy

    I know some cheap polyester that’s screaming.

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  40. anonimo

    wheres your dick

  41. #23, yeah well, guess what? If she DIDN’T get the breast lift (and scar up her boobs), people like you would just find something else to bash her about. Like..oh I don’t know, saying she has SAGGY tits. No one on here’s seeing her tits without clothes, so who cares? They look great.

  42. Gando

    She does remind me of a blowfish.

  43. bimbamboing

    She’s lucky that the extra baby fat is growing on the right spots.

  44. Nero

    Her pubic mound must have turned into a comfortable waterbed mattress by now.

  45. Jen

    fish writer, can you PLEASE delete this spam bullshit that people keep posting?


  46. Tracheotomy in pic 5.

    Looking more glamorous though. She doesn’t look like a yard sale here.

  47. asdf

    oh shit

    she’s on her way to becoming the white queen latifa

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