Jessica Simpson is wasted

August 2nd, 2009 // 59 Comments

Because booze will never tell security to bar you from the premises, Jessica Simpson got wasted at Katsuya last night with her sister Ashlee. Or at least that’s what the caption of these paparazzi pics said. Honestly, I don’t how anyone could tell whether Jessica Simpson is drunk or not. She could’ve got in the car, made out with the dash then let Bronx Mowgli do the driving and I’d still want to see the results of a breathalyzer before commenting.


  1. frank

    How was it possible for the PAP not to get a crotch or boob shot?

  2. udunome

    firstttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, i feel bad for her

  3. udunome

    firstttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, i feel bad for her

  4. Kodos

    First…like I care.

    Anyone looking to fuck a drunk chick? Keep away, Papa Joe!

  5. Kelley

    No kidding, Frank …

  6. Booby Watcher

    come onnnn, tittie

  7. Tad Bit Tipsy

    She stole that dress from my Grandma!!!

  8. frank

    Hey Kodos, Your 4th you Fag, Like you care, right?

  9. JAN


  10. That is not a good outfit to get drunk in.

  11. Jose

    Mmm i love drunk Jess. Its so fn fantastic to see her out and about, single and with a smile on her face. Fit, happy and single Jessica Simps = possible opportunities to see pics of her flaunting that hot ass of hers. You go ahead Jess, go out, get drunk and wear sexy outfits. Braless preferably. You are single now!

  12. Who gives a shit about her?

    Dead to me.

  13. K

    Way too tan. Gross.

  14. Parker

    Aww she’s still adorable. I’d buttfuck her in a minute. And then I’d dump her. But I’d still think she’s nice.

  15. Nameless

    Gotta love her PR people flaunting her 10lbs in 10 days weight loss and strict training regime earlier this week only to have her shown sloppy drunk, workout set back, and probably gained every bit of that weight back by the weekend. LOL

  16. Fifteenth!


  17. familiar...

    I seriously think I had an outfit just like that in the 4th grade.

  18. Bloated

    She better call the dietitian cause she still looks like a little fattie 2 by 4.

  19. Bloated

    I had an outfit just like that too when I was in the 4th grade, culottes and the same print. My mom used to dress me funny.

  20. Pilatunes

    Pity I wasn’t out with her…when they are shitfaced like that the panties are usually off before you hit the driveway. You could spend the whole night pulling her hair and telling her she is dirty and she wouldn’t object.

  21. Side boobs a popin!!!

    These chicks coming out of relationship will fuck anything that moves, all you have be is in the right place…unfortunately theres too many eyes on jess watching her every move…

  22. IKnow

    Jeez, haven’t we all been shitty like that. I have little compassion for attention whores but drunk bitches having fun seems off limits to me. Fish sucks dick.

  23. blah… she’s wearin shorts. whata rip…

  24. Criss

    Ya’ll need to get a life…HUMANS are aloud to go out and have fun!!! And ya’ll perves need to go to some porn sight,Jess doesn’t go pantyless like Paris and Britnee!!!!

  25. hutch

    Let me in that carnival tent!

  26. joe pantera

    is that the New Camaro she is sitting in.

  27. Hottie Lover

    I’d love to give her loud, drunken orgasms!!! OOOOFAAAHH!!!

  28. dude

    id def throw her a good mercy fuck

  29. TheAdmiral

    Wow, she got so drunk she’s starting to look like Cameron Diaz.

  30. Joe

    Criss, we’ll stop commenting when you learn how to spell. “Humans” are “aloud”??? A porn “sight”??

    She looks adorable. And I absolutely love her thick thighs.

  31. Yikes, these are not flattering photos. Her dress looks hideous, too. Hair and nails look great,though. haha


  32. Galtacticus

    It must be great to have a sister you can share your hobby with.

  33. FACE

    that face, those legs – so beautiful

  34. Chris

    I’d totally do her

  35. nomnomnom

    I really hope someone was able to take advantage of that situation. She need a good hard boning that night. I need to start tracking what bars she will be at and throw my hat into the ring for a rebound fuck.

  36. Look @ jess’s under arm its smooth and not meaty, could it be a precursor of her pleasure cave?

    *sign* probably not…

  37. not nick lachey

    She is SO Wrecked. And I would SOOOO jump right into that!

  38. hit it like your mom

    pic #3

    I’d grab that boob and jerk off right into her face.

  39. @ 36 the “winner” of the family Ashlee was the cock blocker for the night,,,I doubt anyone got to even say hello…

  40. It’s a shame I wasnt there to give her some rapies err roofies err chocolates to show my condolences to her breakup..

  41. Turd Ferguson

    @41 ROUGH Daddy – That is why you never go into a bar without an excellent wingman. Someone that you know will intercept that cockblocker and take one for the team so you can score the grand prize. I have to agree that jugfucking a drunk Jessica Simpson would definitely be a grand prize.

  42. Fati

    I think it’s that idiotic outfit, but she still looks huge.

  43. Erin


  44. amy

    Just get pregnant already and stop your whining! –

  45. Max

    @24. criss how the hell do you know Jess don’t go pantyless? Sounds like you are all up in that stuff. Why don’t you tell us what this dirty whore is like.

  46. fat white guy

    I would definitely space dock her

  47. Dread not

    @ 10. Duchess Of Dork – August 2, 2009 4:46 PM

    That is not a good outfit to get drunk in.


    Oh, it seems like the perfect one for that. It’s practically taking itself off.

    Jessica, you are so wise in your simplistic ways. Tony Noshow, you gettin’ this? Oh yeah, not anymore! Bwahahahahahahahahaha! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

  48. Jeff


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