Okay, Jessica Simpson knows what to do here, I think. She’s pretty sure you pour the juice from the bottle into the cup. Or is it the bottle into the juice and then eat the cup? Dammit, what did her dad used to say? Oh, right, he’d say: “If you can’t figure something out, why not bounce up and down on daddy’s lap?” Then he’d ask her if she wanted a boob job because, you know, Joe Simpson buys boob-jobs in bulk. I hear he hands them out at office parties, charity events, and even to kids trick-or-treating on Halloween.
Photos: Splash
first!
hey becks, thanks for telling us what grade you’re in.
PS Don’t you think you’re too old to still be breastfeeding?
ummmmm
Jessica Simpson, 2000 miles from the farm she grew up on, now relies on bottled donkey jizz to satisfy cravings.
Well, she’s not all made up, but at least she isn’t looking like ass. Maybe she won’t continue on that Jenna Jameson/Duck lookalike path she’s been on.
wow the first time i have seen her without dark roots.
Aw, she does look like a tard.
Nice one thesuperficial.com. HAHA! She does look confused and fortunately you gave her great advice about what to do with this one.
Wasn’t she in the Ringer?
I think she has an excellent taste on fashion and style.
LOOVED the snickers and the “I don’t give a fuck if i look like i haven’t take a bath in a week, still prud to wear my pijamas on public places” Look.
#4
heh, heh, heh, heh, heh!
she’s not my favorite person, by far.. but it’s nice to see she can go out in public looking “average” without having to resort to crusty cowboy hats and fishnets stockings (with shorts and boots)
….not saying any names or anything (but pointing in a general direction..)
She should lay off the queludes…she looks a little like me on a Saturday morning…..
FRIST….you must look pretty damn hot on Saturday morning then!!!
I do ok
that cute, little ignorant fuck
#9 Hey how’s it going
#13 How’s it been going lately FRIST?
Don’t know what I did to Veggi, but guess she just flat out hates my ass.
FRIST you are hot 7 days a week!!!
Mike I am doing good. I don’t think Veggi hates you hates you.
Looking normal for once but still a retard.
Oh, #1 – just plain lame for being so happy for posting first.
#2 – great line about what grade #1 is in. LOL
#17 Been well, Mike, thanks, and I don’t know anything about Veggi, maybe she hates me too.
#18 Thanks Jimbo, how was your weekend?
I think in picture 7, she has a revelation about what to do with the cup and the juice. By picture 9, she forgot again.
The juice contains air. She drank the juice yesterday, but is carrying it around, hoping it will magically fill with juice again.
#18, I don’t hate myself. Just don’t know what the heck I did to her to piss her off.
#20. Nobody can hate you, only love you, because you are the hottest thing around.
The Guy in pictures 2-4 is playing pocket rocket with his pecker. Jessica is waiting to see if his dick will point at her cup before she pours. It is voodoo.
I actually think she looks kinda cute not all made up like papa Joe’s whore.
Dear Superficial,
Jessica Simpson is being paid to get photographed carry that product, you are posting the pictures thus making the value of paying her to promote even higher. Please photoshop a penis over the brand-name beverage.
I hate that flavor of Fuze
What’s this thing in my hand? It feels cold. brrrrr. Maybe I should set it down. hey whats this other thing? It’s red! I like red. Red like a pony! Oh wait those are brown. Why is my hand cold again? Oh right the red thing. I mean the other thing. Where am I? Kittens are soft.
Ohh Jessica, you look like ass. Why is she wearing a tent?
She’s just used to getting juice in the face….In the cup dear in the cup.
She actually looks kinda cute without makeup. She looks much softer and more sweet.
…I think she’s finally realizing what a disgusting purposeless existence she’s led up until now.
I could wile away the hours
Conferrin’ with the flowers
Consultin’ with the rain
And my head I’d be scratchin’
While my thoughts were busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain
Jessica Simpson pouring O J. This has been a weird day
i think she is really pretty when she doesnt try. i’ve seen pix where she was hideous, but she looks good here… and i like that she doesnt give a shit what shes wearing while she is working out… i hate those girls who get all dolled up to go to the gym… if you are actually gonna work out, you’re going to sweat it all off anyways!!
#31, she’s had a purpose…my spank bank.
That juice is awesome!!!
When I first saw that picture I was sure the title had made a mistake and the shot was actually of Britney Spears. But no, it is in fact Jessica. When did they start looking so similar?
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Jessica’s boobs are real. But um, nice try. The part about Joe telling her to bounce up and down on daddy’s lap, now that’s true.
I hate all you motherfuckers. All the animals come out at the Superfish – whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the internet.
That’s Jimbo in the background! The dude who’s playing pocket pool while staring at her ass. Seriously, he emailed me his picture, that’ s him!
Aw, leave her alone. She actually looks pretty and fit.
And, yes, I know Baby Jesus is crying. LOL.
She looks more and more like Britney Spears. Poor girl.
Can’t say anything bad here….. Jessica is coming/going to the gym…that’s not a crack pipe in her hand like Blohan would have had or a hand on Chris Angels dick as Brit would have been……OR…… knocked up like Richie to a pompass wanna be superstar idiot Joel Madden……ORrrrrrr a self absorbed whore such as Paris Hilton…
Nope … can’t say anything bad here… Jessica is alright to me.
@40 and 41 You one funny troll. I am sorry that you don’t have a life you stupid fucking troll. It is not my fault your brother off’d himself to get away from you. Get a fucking life! join the chess club, Be one of the 3 ugly ones at Deja Vu. Do something productive with your poor pathetic life you worthless piece of shit troll
“Oh, fuck daddy’s cock!” -Joe Simpson
MassGrrl, I’m surprised that these pictures roused you to comment and all the Hayden Panettiere ones didn’t (her name practically says Gayin’ Pantied Derriere).
So Jimbo, how high is your tab at Deja Vu? I’m guessing it’s over $1000. Which girl says you’re her favorite “regular”?
@49 Hey you fucking troll, I owen the place, so my tab is $0.00. Now your brother was a regular. He would tell me how much he wanted to get away from you. That is why he would sit there for hours drinking just to get your butt ugly body out of his head.
How is your brother?? Oh Yeah SFU!!!