Jessica Simpson is single

July 13th, 2009 // 91 Comments

Jessica Simpson and longtime boyfriend Tony Romo called it quits on Thursday, the day before Jessica’s 29th birthday, according to People:

“She is heartbroken,” says the source. “She loves Tony. But it’s been difficult lately. He’s busy with his career and she’s getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways.”
The Dallas Cowboys quarterback fueled breakup rumors when he showed up with about 14 friends at the Hollywood hotspot MyHouse on Friday night without the birthday girl, a source tells PEOPLE.
Simpson had planned to throw a Barbie and Ken-themed party for her birthday, but it fell through, according to a message she wrote on her Twitter page Saturday. “Barbie party didn’t happen, but I turned 29 and feel like I am on top of the world yelling I LOVE GETTING OLDER!” she wrote.

Kudos to Jessica Simpson for getting dumped right before turning just shy of 30 and still taking it like a champ. Then again, it’s not like she doesn’t have large breasts that any man would kill to touch. Even if that involves a certain Dallas quarterback not making it to the preseason. *honk honk* *wink wink*

Photos: Flynet, Getty, Splash News
superficial

  1. abba

    FIRST!

  2. …so is her career. NEXT!

  3. Skeletor

    *honk honk* so true… so true…

  4. thumper

    Absolutely guarantee she and Nick will have rebound sex.

  5. your Bedazzler (TM)

    Picture number four is just so classy and demure, I can’t even believe it.
    She is SO VERY elegant. Wow. I am just stunned that any guy would let her slip through his fingers…

  6. Cash

    Awesome… looks like it’s crash diet time for Jessica, and Romo can get back to not sucking.

    This is just an all around win-win situation.

  7. twzzlrgirl

    This woman is in the same group with the likes of Jennifer Aniston: attractive woman that no man can stand for more than a coupla months. What do we think is the problem? Clingy? Won’t do blowjobs? All-around frigid in bed? There has to be a reason…..

    (I’m going with the no blowjob theory myself……)

  8. Deacon Jones

    I know what Tony was going though….

    He was dating a chick with a great body/tits and probably dirty as hell in bed, but at the same time every family member/friend you have is asking you on the side:

    “Seriously Tony, what do you guys actually TALK about? How long do you think this is going to last?”

    You can only pull so many bullshit excuses out of your ass when the chick you’re dating is dumb as a fucking rock.

  9. me

    no blowjob theory!!!!

    no bj, no relationship. it’s true ladies

  10. bobby

    got to admit if you dont think this chick is a 10/10 in looks you are gay as hell, she is ultra hot

  11. jacy

    she is annoying as fuck.

  12. Amy

    #10, you sound like my ex-boyfriend who sent me a fake cnn article that said that “semen helps reduce cancer risk in women.” I didn’t buy it (because I’m not retarded), but Jessica on the other hand….

  13. Truth Teller

    Ladies, let this be a lesson:

    If you get fat, you’ll LOSE YOUR MAN!

    There is always a thinner version of you out there!

  14. Keith

    Fat, short, hillbilly chicks with tree stump legs = not NFL quarterback material.

    Romo, pay attention to Tom Brady, and stop trolling the trailer park.

  15. twzzlrgirl

    Romo told her that ingesting semen helped with weight loss….50 lbs. later, she realized this was a lie, stopped sucking him off, and the relationship was over.

    A strategic error on Tony’s part….

  16. Delgo

    Bring your veiny, gi-normous breasts my way Mrs. Simpson.

  17. Hottie Lover

    As long as she doesn’t get cankles, I still find her highly sexy!!!
    I should be so lucky to touch any part of her…

  18. Tad Bit Tipsy

    Put some beer on ice baby, I’m coming home. Will watch some UFC together and you can make that microwave Tai you always talk about.

  19. TeeHee

    @10….I’m a girl and I agree with you. Nothing keeps you guys around like a good ole’ tickle of the tonsils does it?

  20. #8 – I have to agree. Being a pretty girl does not make you a good lay. BJs are e-fucking-ssential. But her jaw probably hurt from going down on daddy for far too long.

    I think we need more expertise here. Danielle, did growing up blowing your dad damage you ability to keep relationships with men, or was it really just the fat and annoying aspect of it? The world needs to hear from someone who’s been there.

  21. Amy

    #14, how about if ANYONE get’s fat, you are more likely to lose your partner? I wouldn’t date a fat guy if my life depended on it. I wouldn’t expect a guy to date me if I were a fat ass either. You state the obvious but fail the recogize that most people (both genders) generally hate fat asses. But sadly, as much as we seem to hate fat people. pretty much every couple I see over the age of 40 is fat. :-(

  22. Sid

    In fairness, Romo collapses under pressure, so he has a legit excuse for dumping a girlfriend when she blimps out.

  23. Jessman

    I would love to titty fuck her. She’s an idiot. Ugly girls give better blowjobs.

  24. reality

    As long as the guy’s WALLET is fat, he’ll get all the hot chicks he wants.

  25. havoc

    God I love those blue, veiny tits…..

    .

  26. #22. Your fascination with dicks leads me to believe that it is YOU that would have that mind blowing expertise.

    *pushes the mic towards your hideous ass*

  27. objectionable

    @25
    Jessman – how would you know? You’ve never had the pleasure of anything greater than 4/10

  28. HankTheDwarf

    Who knew she had such veiny tits? They’re bulging because she’s choking the fuck out of those fuckers since they’re already floppy and droopy at her age.

  29. devilsrain

    29. Hence the fact that he goes with ugly chicks. Anyway maybe hes on a downslope.

  30. Just answer the question Danny… and for god’s sake put the Twinkies down!

  31. Deacon Jones

    @29

    He’s dead on. Fat/ugly chicks (aka low esteem) are far more willing to do kinky shit than “10s” who 9 times out of 10 lay there and give you this look like it’s a privlege to be fuckin them. Models are the worse though, zero personality AND zero bed skills.

  32. Jim

    Haha, no wonder Tony dumped her

    “Simpson had planned to throw a Barbie and Ken-themed party for her birthday, but it fell through, according to a message she wrote on her Twitter page Saturday. “Barbie party didn’t happen, but I turned 29 and feel like I am on top of the world yelling I LOVE GETTING OLDER!” she wrote.”

    29 years old and throwing a Barbie-Ken party? Tony, and any heterosexual male over 16, would have said FUCK THAT SHIT!

  33. lord gaga

    makes me thirst for warm milk

  34. This dame is curvy in all the right spots…dumber than a post but thats insignificant if your only plans revolve around 3-4 nights locked in a closet.
    The Rake
    http://thefilmnest.com

  35. #33. i don’t eat twinkies, you bloated dog turd.

    and for the last time, [[you're]] the expert. now go interview your dad’s vienna if you don’t believe me. i’m sure it has tear jerking stories to tell ya. bring lube.

  36. Jessman

    Jessman – how would you know? You’ve never had the pleasure of anything greater than 4/10
    You must be thinking of the other jessman you know.

  37. no one cares

    #28/38 Ah, dumbYELL, the old “I am not, you are” routine. So 1985 of you. What’s it like to be completely humorless, perpetually sulky and stuck with a face that looks like an inflamed hemorrhoid?

    P.S. Thank you for not putting up a full-body shot.

  38. Kati

    I don’t think those giant tits are doing her any favors

  39. Kati

    I don’t think those giant tits are doing her any favors

  40. Ok Danny, I’ll take that as a “no, I just lose men because I’m obnoxiously chunky. And by chunky I mean fat. And by fat I mean morbidly obese. And by that I mean I’ll be buried in a shipping crate.”

  41. Courtyardpigeon

    That 4th photo is awful. Not only is her gut sticking out, WTF is with her toes sticking out like french fries out of a McDonalds to-go bag?

  42. Interstate Bakeries Corporation Press Release

    #38 We would like to repeat that our fine product, Hostess Twinkies™, has never been anywhere near this person in any way, shape or form and we cannot be held responsible for any or all actions on her part.

  43. the infamous danielle

    and while you’re at it, you can take a sleeping pill or 7 and bury yourself inside your ass…same place where you found that joke.

    this obsession you have with obese beings, dicks and KFC has got to be unhealthy. seek medical help. or a gun*.

    * preferably a gun.

  44. Harry

    Looks like Tony Homo fumbled again in the 4th quarter.

  45. Deacon Jones

    What, you dropped your photo link from your name now?

  46. the infamous danielle

    #48. what, you had extra left over from your last joke? how kind of you.

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