It looks like Jessica Simpson’s transformation into a gorilla is almost complete. Give her another few months and a box of ice cream and I think we can call this experiment an amazing success. Some said it couldn’t be done. Some said it was madness. But now who’s laughing Mr. MIT scientists who said I was a failure?
Thanks to Davina for the tip, and for looking great in a short skirt. Rowr.
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| Watch The Trailer For The Movie Everyone Is Talking About – TooFab | |
| You Won't Believe Who Katy Perry Is Partying With Now – Huffington Post |
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Audrina Patridge Wore A Bikini Again And Other News |
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And Now For The Part of Cannes Where Michelle Rodriguez Wears A Bikini And Jumps Off Things |
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Kelly Brook Wore A Bikini, Too |
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Daisy Fuentes In A Bikini Is 3 Years Older Than Gabrielle Anwar, Looks Way Better |
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Dear Gabrielle Anwar In A Bikini, WHAT HAPPENED? |
I used to think Nick Lachey was a vacant model wannabe, but his timing is ingenious, dumping Simpson after she earned a bazillion dollars, and before her Y chromosome became active.
Eww, looking kinda leathery…maybe she’ll shed like a lizard and be pretty again.
Thank God I say. There is nothing worse then getting dumped by your hot wife and then watching from the sidelines while they continue to parade around all gorgeous and beautiful. So Nick can rest easy. Jessica is blowing her looks big time and having more plastic surgery done then Joan Rivers by the time she was 50. It’s all downhill from here. I can now get out of bed and look in the mirror at my flaws and say “At least I don’t look like Chestica Pimpleson.”
nick, being the gym queen that he is, obviously kept her in shape. somehow she manages to look fat and bony simultaneously (weird collarbone)
whats with once attractive pop-stars going uggo
Nick Lachey is no model wannabe, he is, apparently, a supeb personal trainer! I for one didn’t think he had any talent at all. Send him to Britneys house!
it was bound to happen. she isn’t naturally sexy so she has to try really hard to look good. this wasn’t one of those days
my bad…this WAS one of those days. her arms have cellulite on them.
Jessica has the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across.
While you’re at it, send K-Fed to Jessica’s house to ply his singular talent. She’s only two rug rats and 15 pounds away from ‘being’ Britney, …
http://www.questmedia.net/images/SallyStruthers.JPG
…..your on your way Jessie. Cheers!
I can’t believe I am typing this. Jessica is looking more and more like a girl I would deny having sex with.
What happened??
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0377818/DHD-2624r.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Simpson,%20Jessica%20(I)&seq=5
what is going on? why is she constantly cocking her head like that and covering her left eye? for example,
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/04/26/ashlee_simpson_thinks_shes_the.html
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/04/12/jessica_and_ashlee_simpson_at.html
good try, jessica. ass.
I would volunteer for the Ziggurat/Mole cross-breeding program still…
what’s on her upper lip? it looks a bit orangy…is she into cheetos too? good lord girls, just say NO!
i guess you have to be one extreme in hollywood:
1)a fat, cellulite packing baby making machine.
OR
2)a skinny, coked out crack addict with no tits.
…hmmmmm i say we kill them all and start again!
3 things:
1. shes a short girl
2. shes in a tall girl’s dress
3. shes hunching her back
Next stop…Mariahville.
p.s. id still hit that any day
3 – 42….HUT!!! HUT!!!!!
There’s a discount dept store here called Century 21. A lot of the patrons are crazy, leathery, blond-haired, orange-mottled-skinned Italian women and crazy, leathery, blond-haired, orange-mottled-skinned Southern women. Guess which category she falls into?
looks like she put on 15 pounds and it all went to her arms
#21 – You’re funny.
Damn! That’s a HUUUUUGE bitch! She should lay off of the Ben and Jerry’s and go back to gobbling her dad’s cock.
That’s what I expect to see at a high school reunion. Good thing she didn’t graduate from a high school. Her reunion will consist of her and her family, which isn’t saying much.
Nah! She was always ugly and with a terrible sense of fashion. Whatsoever, press had treated her like some princess, which she’s not, because she claimed to act and sing, which she can’t. Now she’s fat. Welcome to Britneyland, bitch.
Wtf are you assholes TALKING about??? She looks fine. What, because she has a bit more fat on her arms? So what? Why is it that any time some celeb has any type of imperfection, or puts on any bit of weight, this site exaggerates it into some catastrophe, as if people can’t lose the weight. You’d all bang the shit out of Jessica, even as she is now, and you know it. Get a life.
hey we still have JEWEL….uh…as long as she keeps her mouth shut. :-/
Very trollish, indeed.
maybe the left eye got punched and is bruised
You’re just picking bad pics of her now, whereas before, all you showed was her in good poses or airbrushed.
This is exactly what happened with Britney.
the WHOLE point is THERE ARE bad pics of this hag! can you say….Twinkies?
@36
Jewel wears way too many shirts with snaps on them.
Jacq, check your email, you whore.
OMG. She is fat and ugly. Did I hear Dane Cook was actually hitting that, because if so, I’ve lost respect for my God: Dane.
@39
Duckboy? Is that you?
#41 who gives a fuck about her shirts? im fucking her in the ass…cmon!
That chick is TOTALLY a guy!
I think this picture is proof positive the Jessica is a drag queen.
@44
Well, then. Carry on.
every fat bitch knows you CANNOT wear a strapless top if your arms have more fat in them then Posh Spices lips! right edna???
Um, SVA1994: Jessica is fat and ugly in that picture. if i saw that person in the mall i would point & laugh. and i certainly would not “bang” her…nick, on the other hand…
The body weight thing–I think it’s just a bad picture. But that fake bake tan and the new haircut that looks like she’s trying to hide a growth over her left eye…those are regrettable, changeable things. Jessica–lay off the tanning beds!!!
Oh yeah, she totally looks like a linebacker in this picture. Heh.
Eh…35 & 39. No one cares whether she’s fat. We care that she’s ugly and a terrible person with no brain at all who looks like a man.
Icon of style my ass…
This is soo soo soo photoshopped. This is no way her body. Even if she were to get a bit bigger, her skin would never look all lumpy like that with the amount of excersise she does. And she does not have those huge man shoulders, puh-fuckin-lease. Wake up yall!!!
LOL
Olichka: I didn’t know you personally knew Jessica and had all her curves and contours down to a science. What, did she buy some of your shitty artwork?
NO AMNESTY — EMPLOY AMERICANS!! The only difference today made for me was no traffic on the freeways, and more parking at school. Let it be forever! Don’t like our laws? Go back to Mexico!
Olichka: paint a picture of a twinkie. she will buy it then.
#56 dont forget – theres also not the faint smell of diapers and taco’s in the air.
Well, I’m wondering about something someone told me awhile back–aren’t ladies more suseptable to getting pudgey if they work out a lot and then they cut back drastically on their weight-lifting? Wouldn’t that explain why her arms look so puffy? I bet she isn’t on the same sort of rigorous training schedule as she was when “Dukes” was being filmed and promoted.