It looks like Jessica Simpson’s transformation into a gorilla is almost complete. Give her another few months and a box of ice cream and I think we can call this experiment an amazing success. Some said it couldn’t be done. Some said it was madness. But now who’s laughing Mr. MIT scientists who said I was a failure?
Thanks to Davina for the tip, and for looking great in a short skirt. Rowr.
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Gisele Bundchen Speaks Out After Her Latest Controversy – Lainey Gossip |
 Lady Gaga Reveals Her Eating Disorder – Huffington Post | |
| Naomi Campbell sexy new photoshoot. – Fox News | |
| Vanessa Hudgens Falls Out Of Her Shirt – Popoholic | |
| Celebrities' Real Names Exposed – Newser | |
| No bras here. – The Chive |
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Yoda a Green Schlong Has | May 1, 2006 at 2:51 pm
First.
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 2:52 pm
You cant handle that jelly!
Pearly | May 1, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Wow, she just gets scarier and scarier! Nice hair, and why does it always look like her head is receding into her neck?
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 2:53 pm
damn i guess Nick Lachey really was useful, he kept her lazy ass in shape. now shes fucked.
bjpack | May 1, 2006 at 2:53 pm
Holy shit, she’s turning into a man.
Pearly | May 1, 2006 at 2:54 pm
Oh and that dress looks like a tube stretched around her..why does she look like she’s pressed up against a window?
boredmilf | May 1, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Someone please straighten her crooked dress so her boobs look the same size
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 2:58 pm
Celebrity Domination Check List:
1.Britney Spears fat and pregnant again. (check)
2.Jessica Simpson looking more and more like SALLY STRUTHERS.
(check)
3.Tom Cruise FINALLY proving that too much dick causes brain damage.
(check)
4.Whore out Jessica Alba to my friends
(IN THE PROCESS)
pileofsponges | May 1, 2006 at 2:59 pm
looks like she’s headed in Britney’s direction…
Yoda a Green Schlong Has | May 1, 2006 at 3:03 pm
I used to think Nick Lachey was a vacant model wannabe, but his timing is ingenious, dumping Simpson after she earned a bazillion dollars, and before her Y chromosome became active.
BoobsForBob | May 1, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Eww, looking kinda leathery…maybe she’ll shed like a lizard and be pretty again.
PKClover | May 1, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Thank God I say. There is nothing worse then getting dumped by your hot wife and then watching from the sidelines while they continue to parade around all gorgeous and beautiful. So Nick can rest easy. Jessica is blowing her looks big time and having more plastic surgery done then Joan Rivers by the time she was 50. It’s all downhill from here. I can now get out of bed and look in the mirror at my flaws and say “At least I don’t look like Chestica Pimpleson.”
Fisher55 | May 1, 2006 at 3:06 pm
nick, being the gym queen that he is, obviously kept her in shape. somehow she manages to look fat and bony simultaneously (weird collarbone)
xAgonyxScenex | May 1, 2006 at 3:06 pm
whats with once attractive pop-stars going uggo
Pearly | May 1, 2006 at 3:06 pm
Nick Lachey is no model wannabe, he is, apparently, a supeb personal trainer! I for one didn’t think he had any talent at all. Send him to Britneys house!
cms1234 | May 1, 2006 at 3:09 pm
it was bound to happen. she isn’t naturally sexy so she has to try really hard to look good. this wasn’t one of those days
cms1234 | May 1, 2006 at 3:11 pm
my bad…this WAS one of those days. her arms have cellulite on them.
saltpeanuts | May 1, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Jessica has the whitest teeth I’ve ever come across.
Yoda a Green Schlong Has | May 1, 2006 at 3:13 pm
While you’re at it, send K-Fed to Jessica’s house to ply his singular talent. She’s only two rug rats and 15 pounds away from ‘being’ Britney, …
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 3:16 pm
http://www.questmedia.net/images/SallyStruthers.JPG
…..your on your way Jessie. Cheers!
UNWASHEDMASSES | May 1, 2006 at 3:18 pm
I can’t believe I am typing this. Jessica is looking more and more like a girl I would deny having sex with.
boredmilf | May 1, 2006 at 3:19 pm
What happened??
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0377818/DHD-2624r.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Simpson,%20Jessica%20(I)&seq=5
HookEmHorns | May 1, 2006 at 3:20 pm
what is going on? why is she constantly cocking her head like that and covering her left eye? for example,
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/04/26/ashlee_simpson_thinks_shes_the.html
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/04/12/jessica_and_ashlee_simpson_at.html
good try, jessica. ass.
ziggurat | May 1, 2006 at 3:21 pm
I would volunteer for the Ziggurat/Mole cross-breeding program still…
chanel_bear | May 1, 2006 at 3:23 pm
what’s on her upper lip? it looks a bit orangy…is she into cheetos too? good lord girls, just say NO!
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 3:26 pm
i guess you have to be one extreme in hollywood:
1)a fat, cellulite packing baby making machine.
OR
2)a skinny, coked out crack addict with no tits.
…hmmmmm i say we kill them all and start again!
billabong021 | May 1, 2006 at 3:29 pm
3 things:
1. shes a short girl
2. shes in a tall girl’s dress
3. shes hunching her back
LRonHubbaHubba | May 1, 2006 at 3:30 pm
Next stop…Mariahville.
billabong021 | May 1, 2006 at 3:30 pm
p.s. id still hit that any day
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 3:31 pm
3 – 42….HUT!!! HUT!!!!!
Shovel00 | May 1, 2006 at 3:32 pm
There’s a discount dept store here called Century 21. A lot of the patrons are crazy, leathery, blond-haired, orange-mottled-skinned Italian women and crazy, leathery, blond-haired, orange-mottled-skinned Southern women. Guess which category she falls into?
hilary | May 1, 2006 at 3:33 pm
looks like she put on 15 pounds and it all went to her arms
Jacq | May 1, 2006 at 3:33 pm
#21 – You’re funny.
Damn! That’s a HUUUUUGE bitch! She should lay off of the Ben and Jerry’s and go back to gobbling her dad’s cock.
That’s what I expect to see at a high school reunion. Good thing she didn’t graduate from a high school. Her reunion will consist of her and her family, which isn’t saying much.
gammanormids | May 1, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Nah! She was always ugly and with a terrible sense of fashion. Whatsoever, press had treated her like some princess, which she’s not, because she claimed to act and sing, which she can’t. Now she’s fat. Welcome to Britneyland, bitch.
SVA1994 | May 1, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Wtf are you assholes TALKING about??? She looks fine. What, because she has a bit more fat on her arms? So what? Why is it that any time some celeb has any type of imperfection, or puts on any bit of weight, this site exaggerates it into some catastrophe, as if people can’t lose the weight. You’d all bang the shit out of Jessica, even as she is now, and you know it. Get a life.
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 3:36 pm
hey we still have JEWEL….uh…as long as she keeps her mouth shut. :-/
MeanNate | May 1, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Very trollish, indeed.
Fisher55 | May 1, 2006 at 3:36 pm
maybe the left eye got punched and is bruised
Jude806 | May 1, 2006 at 3:38 pm
You’re just picking bad pics of her now, whereas before, all you showed was her in good poses or airbrushed.
This is exactly what happened with Britney.
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 3:39 pm
the WHOLE point is THERE ARE bad pics of this hag! can you say….Twinkies?
mamacita | May 1, 2006 at 3:39 pm
@36
Jewel wears way too many shirts with snaps on them.
Jacq, check your email, you whore.
pinky_nip | May 1, 2006 at 3:39 pm
OMG. She is fat and ugly. Did I hear Dane Cook was actually hitting that, because if so, I’ve lost respect for my God: Dane.
mamacita | May 1, 2006 at 3:40 pm
@39
Duckboy? Is that you?
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 3:41 pm
#41 who gives a fuck about her shirts? im fucking her in the ass…cmon!
Lavis | May 1, 2006 at 3:42 pm
That chick is TOTALLY a guy!
Lou | May 1, 2006 at 3:44 pm
I think this picture is proof positive the Jessica is a drag queen.
mamacita | May 1, 2006 at 3:46 pm
@44
Well, then. Carry on.
WTF | May 1, 2006 at 3:47 pm
every fat bitch knows you CANNOT wear a strapless top if your arms have more fat in them then Posh Spices lips! right edna???
Fisher55 | May 1, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Um, SVA1994: Jessica is fat and ugly in that picture. if i saw that person in the mall i would point & laugh. and i certainly would not “bang” her…nick, on the other hand…
Sdvora | May 1, 2006 at 3:49 pm
The body weight thing–I think it’s just a bad picture. But that fake bake tan and the new haircut that looks like she’s trying to hide a growth over her left eye…those are regrettable, changeable things. Jessica–lay off the tanning beds!!!