Jessica Simpson isn’t the box-office draw you’d expect a hot chick with a creamy stupid center to be. Her latest film Blonde Ambition was headed straight for DVD until the producers decided to show the film in Jessica’s home state of Texas. It not only bombed but set the stage for the rest of her film releases, according to Page Six:
The turkey took in just $1,322 on its opening weekend in eight Texas theaters. Jessica’s next picture, “Major Movie Star,” with Vivica A. Fox and Steve Guttenberg, is also heading straight to DVD.
So I did the math on this one and it’s bad. Assuming movie tickets are $10, roughly 16 people saw this movie at each theater over a three day span. If this isn’t a giant flag that says “Jessica Simpson, it’s time for porn” then I don’t know what is. I mean, besides that billboard I built outside her bedroom window that says “Jessica Simpson, it’s time for porn.” Her dad was a big help though, so I can’t take all the credit.
she is looking quite porn-starry in those pics. perhaps she’s stepping into the semen-filled shoes left behind by jenna “the duck” jameson.
Oh… I read that as “her box is poison”.
What the hell is she showing off with those wacky poses?
shell always have pro activ
first? oh man, i need to get a life.
“semen-filled shoes ” Good One.
And stay the fuck away from Tony Romo, The Dallas Cowboys and Texas Stadium.
Bad Luck Bitch
I hope she goes to every game and Tony has to flip
hamburgers for a living.
ugh….her face is looking so weird these days
She’s a better actress than Alba and at least she doesn’t try to do any serious acting and instead only makes silly comedies. How much would Awake or Good Luck Chuck make if it only opened in 8 Texas theaters?
I liked the reality thingy she and Nick did… maybe not great in movies, but she’s funny as hell when she’s not acting.
She’s still smokin’ hot.
Better actress than Alba??? They Both suck donkey..
They SHOULD suck donkey..
Has anybody else noticed that with the advent of blogs useless wates of space like this chick never just go away? If this were 10 years ago she’d have had 1 hit song and nobody would have ever heard or seen her stupid skanky ass again.
Did I read that right? She’s in a movie called Major Movie Star and it has Steve Guttenburg in it? How is this a surprise to anyone that it isn’t destined for straight to DVD release? Next thing we hear is Jessica is going to remake Short Circuit with Fisher Stevens.
PS @7 damn TT sorry to hear you’re a Cowboy’s fan. No offense, but I want Jessica’s face up on the jumbotron everytime Tony takes a snap.
I’ve said it already but I will mention it again.
JUST TALK WITH JENNA JAMESON!! Just talk, that won’t cost a thing.
Yeah, maybe some nerves!!
John delorean had one BIG mistake and he knew what it was. IT WAS DAMN PRIDE!!
PLEASE LADY, put it away and you really be surprised!!
Yea she is funny as hell when she is not acting because she is stupid! Tuna of the Sea…”is it chicken or fish? I dont get it!” Thats why Nick left her! He couldnt deal with living with a child and have to keep her from killing herself with her stupidity. It is about that time….time to be in Porn, no thinking involved, let daddy do all the thinking…
hehehehehehe gross….
Nobody is as bad as Alba. Well, maybe Madonna is.
The point of her showing up at the Cboys game was to get publicity for that craptactular “film” being released in Texas. By the way, was that dumb twit at the Buffalo game where Ohno Romo had five turnovers or last year’s playoff. I mean, she may be bad luck for her agent right now but seriously, Romo sucks ass on his own.
@17 Karishna
The brand is called “Chicken of the Sea” dumby…hence her mistaking it for chicken. You are a retard too apparently.
I SAW THIS MOVIE at the dollar theater in a DFW suburb. I went for two reasons: as a lark, to see just how much of a train-wreck this film really is and because I like Luke Wilson. To say it is a bad movie is putting it mildly – it stinks to high heaven and the reason is JESSICA SIMPSON CANNOT ACT! OMG WTF! She substitutes that big horse-smile of hers for any kind of emotion and it really grates on your nerves. AND HER TEETH ARE THE COLOR OF THIS BACKGROUND. The movie criminally wastes Luke, Willie Nelson and Penelope Ann Miller. Ms. Simpson should save herself a lot of grief and admit her extended fifteen minutes are up. There are two reasons she is a “star” and we all know what they are.
To all of you Cowboy haters, to fucking bad for you that the ‘Boys will be in the Super Bowl come Feb. They WILL beat which ever lame ass team wins the American Conference.
Get used to seeing Tony.
I’m ready for Jessica-bimbo to fuck-off and die already. I guess ol’ Jesus didn’t like Simpson’s voice or something. Maybe her daddy didn’t pray right. Oh, pastor.
Hollywood parents are hustlers. No one can deny celebrity-parents ambitious zeal for money and success. Jessica Simpson had a strong pimp-father-pusher. Daddy didn’t take no for an answer which is why Jessica Simpson sucks. Jessica was moved to the front of every line on pretense that she’s talented. And bankable. She’s not. Easy.
since when do fucking weird cross dressing fairy boys like football…..oh, wait, MEN grabbing each other in tight pants. You are so fucking predictable. And disgusting. Go suck a dick.
I can’t wait to see here first Vivid Video film releases
“Jessica and the 300″
“A Blondie Sex-bition”
“Jessica Does Dallas 2, The Romo and T.O Chronicles ”
“The Devil and Miss Simpson”
“Deep inside Jessica Simpson”
“Driving Mrs Simpson Crazy”
“How Jessica Stole Christmas”
She sucks at acting. However, Steve Guttenberg?! Was he the only male desperate enough for work to be in a straight to paperback movie with her?
@22 TT, I said no offense. I just like the Texans better. Houston is cool, Dallas-meh-not so much. I could have been mean and posted a link to http://www.ruinromo.com, but I didn’t. Whoops!
Sorry friend, just kidding. I couldn’t resist.
I’m not a Cowboy hater but I am a realist. I’d love to see the boys win the Superbowl but the defense has more holes than a collander that any decent offense in the AFC will exploit or NFC for that matter. Not to mention, with a good o-line and hall of fame wide receivers, Romo’s job isn’t that difficult. It doesn’t matter if I’m used to seeing Romo or not ESPN will make me.
Uh Texas Tranny…….Dallas will be going home for the Super Bowl. Green Bay will wax them, if Romo doesn’t do the team in himself. Face it, he is SERIOUSLY overrated. Jones is gonna regret signing him to a $67 million dollar contract. All he can do is smile big and fumble the snaps.
Nick Lachey is a freakin genius. Had her in her prime, took her money and dumped her to move on to something better..
None taken Auntie, you know I like you.
#24, awww, Come on out of the closet buddy, you’ll like yourself better.
#29, Green Bay………………no fucking way, say good-bye to Brent, this will be his last year in football.
#22 – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Your beloved “America’s Team” might just make it in, but then they’ll crash and burn when the Patriots take the field and the bitch slapping starts!
P.S. – GET WELL SOON BENAZIR BHUTTO!
loved the movie & love gorgeous jessica!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#32,
I bet good money the sissy-ass Pats don’t even make the Super Bowl. They’ll be counting their chickens, looking ahead and will get eliminated in the playoffs.
I hope Jess invested a lot of her money, ’cause she’s DONE in the music and movie biz!
But her SHOES rock! I have a pair, and I’m sure I’ll get more!
#22 – I don’t think so. Patriots are gonna win and you fuckin know it.
dumb ass
Texas Tranny……it’s “Brett”, not Brent, and he is a first ballot Hall of Famer, while Romo is just another flash in the pan. He will go the way of Kordell Stewart.
Texas Crossdresser:
not to worry man in a dress. I am far from homophobic… and far from a homosexual. I find it interesting that you always assume that anyone who says anything about you ranting about panties is a closet homosexual. AND I thought it was funny how a crossdresser like yourself promotes your sexual antics on a celebrity gossip site. Don’t you have a website for people like you?
I’m a Cowboy’s fan from birth, but, alas, I think you’re right about the Patriots whoopin’ their ass.
Patriots are just a better team, all around, and some Cowboy’s fans know it. But DAMN IT’S BEEN A GREAT YEAR!
Maybe next season…..
#34 – Then I guess you’ll be brown bagging your lunch for a while and buying your morning java at 7-11 for a good long while. That good $$$ you bet will be waving “bye bye” to you real soon!
Sharpiedude,
I don’t much care for the Pats……but you’re correct. They are going to be extremely hard to beat.
I know how to spell his fucking name. “Brent Flava-fla”
We’ll see who’s fucking crying in their beers at the end of the season. Just remember you heard it hear first.
How many of you had az. st. last night vs The Texas Longhorns?
#38, We do have several websites, but it SO much fun to come here to fuck with people like you. Just because I’m a crossdresser you think I don’t know football? Look again at my screen name, Texas, duh, where we have high-school stadiums bigger than most of the bowl games I’ve watched this year.
Well don’t count out Indy. If Harrison gets healthy it could get interesting, though if the weather is bad in Foxboro Pats are in for sure. I mean the colts have done a great job this year defending their crown. Shit had the Pats not been peaking as they were it could have been Inday going for undefeated (again).
So, it may not be a cakewalk (he he I hope).
Fuck that diva T. O. and Randy Moss is a thug. Anyone remember what he did to that meter maid a few years back? He should have been in prison for that racially inspired act of violence, but hey, he makes da crooks in this country $$$$!!! Go Guiliani for Pres.!!!!! Yay bring in more mexicans!!!
Yay flush the constitution down the toilet!!!! NAFTA forever!!!!
Blacks and Blondes makin’ pretty brown babies niggahs!!!!!!
sigh and to think of how close the Krauts came!!!! Damn!
the whole point of trying to “suck it in” is to create the appearance of looking thin. she has failed miserably. it seems like it’s taking every last brain cell to do this in the first photo.
P.S.
Bret sucks cock real good, but his ass is way loose from taken Reggie White’s big black dick. You’d think by now that would’ve tightened up.
#41 – I’m a diehard Charger fan, but even I gotta face facts and know that the Bolts are gonna bow out early. The Pats are just too loaded and are on a mission this year. The Cowboys are great, but Romo gets happy feet when the pressure is on and Brady doesn’t. It’s like watching Montana all over again.
time to promote some new keds!!
Texas Tranny……you’re a teenager, aren’t you? I can tell by your posts that you don’t know a hell of a lot about football.
Leave Hanna Montana out of this fight.
He was/is over-rated and one of the luckiest QB’s ever to come down the “pike”
What if she goes into porn and destroys the market for porn? People start to click on “Big-Breasted Bimbo” and stop, thinking “OMG it might be Jessica Simpson! I hate her!” It would be the end of the world. Of the internet, anyway.