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Jessica Simpson went to Matsuhisa last Friday and to Il Sole the night before and tried to enter the restaurants through the back entrances to avoid paparazzi. Which is probably what I’d do too if I was wearing a black potato sack as a dress. Nobody wants to be photographed in that. Especially when it makes you look three months pregnant and like you’ve put yourself in an imaginary competition against Britney Spears to see who can eat the most mayonnaise.
More of Jessica Simpson looking heftier than usual after the jump.
Atleast she isn’t a quarter pounder with cheese anymore !
#50, Those nips are not anything like sand dollars. Surprising, but much more like dimes:
http://www.thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/images/2006/08/jessica-simpson-see-through-15.jpg
Her body is short and stumpy. I think the only time she actually looks good is with a heavy reliance on a genius stylist. Ken Paves, you’re fired!
I have never been first on th ‘Fish.
That just dawned on me right now.
Plus, her calves are freakin’ the fuck outta me.
I could not help but notice the Fukuoku 9000 in her bag along with many other toys… hence the need for the LARGE hand bag.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/fukuoku-9000.htm
53
I’ll give you fist. I mean first. Or fist.
I thought the title of this story was “Jessica Simpsoned is BEING boned” when clicked on the link.
Such a sad reality check to see how wrong I was.
Curse Dyslexia my!!!
I also didn’t notice that #38 said exactly the same thing as me.
Dammit!
WTF? Jessica looks great. What’s wrong with a girl with some meat on her bones unlike the coke/vodka skin and bones look that seems to be the thing in Hollyweird. Jessica has curves unlike the other skanks that look like little boys.
Maybe she ate Suri Cruise.
Baby, the other OTHER white meat.
Jessica Blimpson
Three simple truths:
1) She looks like she’s concentrating hard not to drool.
2) She is definately the type of chick that lays there while your bangin’ it out, and looks at you in a way that makes you feel likw you’re taking an exam.
3) Most of you ladies don’t think she’s really fat, she’s just not wearing a flattering dress. There’s hope for you yet.
Maybe she stuffed Ken Paves in that dress. You know, for emergencies.
sweetcheeks, thank god, the pope, tom cruise and the sweet baby jesus for your site. the comments on this site have become vomit enducing. long gone are the days of superfish funny. then i went to your site and angels started singing. wonderful.
This girl is absolutely a dead fish kind of lay. Stupid girls usually are willing to go in the extra step, deep throat that last throbbing inch, to make up for their lack of ability to provide stimulating conversation. And why should she be a wildcat in bed? Being anally raped by your dad while your sister goes down on you and your mom films it isn’t exactly a recipe for the making of a slut. This is the kind of ice queen you titty fuck while she’s sleeping, then paste her eyes shut and blame it on morning eye boogies.
I’m confused. Why do her boobs start at her waist? And what’s with the leather pumps and big leather bag at night in the summer? Is she using Britney’s stylist? Why does Jessica Simpson suddenly look like a Soviet block-era woman athelete from East Berlin?
Jessica,
I am big boned too, if you know what I mean.
Cheggit.
That fatty’s going to break her shoes.
http://www.VeryLiberating.com
@63 — thanks, spatz! I knew quitting my job and devoting my life to celebrity gossip would one day pay off…
I’m amazed at how we bag on people when they are too skinny, but if they step out looking a little bloated we call them fat. No wonder all of hollywood looks like crackheads. We made them that way.
P.S. I’m not defending Jessica Simpson, just the fat thing gets old….
I don’t think she is fat. She is just really short and that makes you look less lean than you are. I think she looks better now than in her bony days.
69–Just consider it long overdue backlash against the very people who have legions of personal trainers, stylists, hair dressers, nutritionists, personal chefs all on a movie studio’s dime tell the rest of us that they’re the “standard” we need to live up to. Especially the actresses who have babies and who are miraculously back at their fighting weight (so to speak) one month after delivery. yeah, if we all had nannys night and day to tend to our babies while we got a full 10 hours of sleep and a vacation after the baby was born, not to mention nutritionally balanced meals prepared for us then we could all look so good. So, they deserve any backlash they get. They’re out of touch and we’re just here to remind them that they’re one donut or line of coke away from the abyss of obscurity.
Can we have some new stories already please?
Please excuse my wife, she’s been reading a lot of Ayn Rand lately. How do you think I feel, I goota live with the bitch!
Yep, she is a man… albeit, a puffy man in those photos. And it’s okay to say that because she is certainly not famous for selling multi-platinum albums. PS: She has always had super saggy boobs, but she propped up those bad boys in push-up bras so you wouldn’t notice her thick legs. Her choice to go braless has proved that the jig is up!
Blimp.
(that’s all I got….d’OH!)
Oh, for god’s sake, she isn’t fat. She’s just desperately in need of a bra and a better-fitting dress.
http://glossedover.com
33- ‘bovine’? do you even know what that MEANS? she is in no way a cow. I’m willing to bet that no matter where you talk in real life, even on her so-called “fat days” such as this you’d do her. where’s that internet picture of that fat guy saying “no she has sharp knees I wouldn’t do her” when you need it.
33- ‘bovine’? do you even know what that MEANS? she is in no way a cow. I’m willing to bet that no matter where you talk in real life, even on her so-called “fat days” such as this you’d do her. where’s that internet picture of that fat guy saying “no she has sharp knees I wouldn’t do her” when you need it.
#76, I concur.
She’s always had masculine features (jaw, shoulders), but if she was wearing a bra and a dress with a cinched waist, she’d look the same as always. Not fat. And even in these pics, she probably looked tiny in person.
Well since none of you guys want her, I’ll take her (for a few hours).
I would still hit the shit out of that. Who cares if she is fat this week or skinny next week? I want those big juicy boobies in my mouth! Then I would use Lindsay Lohan as a toothpick afterwards.
Poor Jess…! Small Children – Look away! She is not “aaan annnnimaaaal!”
Noooo, noooo, noooo…..nothing’s wrong?! My teeth ALWAYS grind when discussing my YOUNGER, RICHER & WHO-THE-F-WOULDA-GUESSED-COULD-B-MORE-BEAUTIFUL than me, SISTER!!!!
Those balloons are sagging so low she could use them as her own hippity-hop. TITHIPS!
#52 Tracie. I looked at the photo you linked. Thanks:
http://www.thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/images/2006/08/jessica-simpson-see-through-15.jpg
As you say, her nips are dimes, but the photo reinforces my point – the crowners (aureolas) are sand dollar sized. Maybe even larger – they seem to cover half her boobs. Nips, aureolas: two different things. I like them both large. Also beers.
Jessica seems to be recovered from her eating disorder, good for her!
now lets see if Ashlee gets fat too so she can look just like her sister…she copies everything else
Dear Lord,
Please may I become as big boned as Jessica.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
Her dress works much better in these photos (http://www.exposay.com/jessica-simpson-arrives-at-mtvs-trl—07-19-2006/v/3283/). The print distracts from the width. ;-)
Oops here’s the jump…
http://www.exposay.com/jessica-simpson-arrives-at-mtvs-trl—07-19-2006/v/3283/
Yeah i wish i was as big as Jessica Simpson. You people are all nuts!!!
I think she looks hot this way, not fat. All hollywood actresses should try for this amount of weight and hotness. She looks like a juicy sausage you could sink your teeth into!
she isn’t fat, she is only 105….but the dress makes her look like shit…just needs to dump the dress …..and take diuretics for a few days…..maybe not eat for a week….. maybe use some heroin, the usual…..
lmao tranny, good one