a href=”/”>
Jessica Simpson went to Matsuhisa last Friday and to Il Sole the night before and tried to enter the restaurants through the back entrances to avoid paparazzi. Which is probably what I’d do too if I was wearing a black potato sack as a dress. Nobody wants to be photographed in that. Especially when it makes you look three months pregnant and like you’ve put yourself in an imaginary competition against Britney Spears to see who can eat the most mayonnaise.
More of Jessica Simpson looking heftier than usual after the jump.
ezra | August 7, 2006 at 5:55 pm
shazam, that’s hagrid’s new girlfriend. first, bitches?
Fatty Boom-Batty | August 7, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Rich people are ugly and stupid. And stupid.
PunjabPete | August 7, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Walking a curb…. I knew the day would come…
Jedi Kevin | August 7, 2006 at 5:57 pm
She has the same dumb expression on her face in every picture.
amaritimer | August 7, 2006 at 5:57 pm
she is such a stupid cunt. I wish she would die, lonely and broke. When she gets old and bleached blonder, she’ll always have Daddy to help hold up her sagging tits.
mrs.t | August 7, 2006 at 5:59 pm
she’s fat! she’s thin! she’s hefty! she’s hot! she’s pudgy! she’s scrawny!
her body changes every 2 weeks. who is she, me?
combustion8 | August 7, 2006 at 6:00 pm
I want to lie on her.
The Girl | August 7, 2006 at 6:03 pm
Looks like she’s hiding (not very well) some premenstrual bloat. Poor thing.
sharkbite | August 7, 2006 at 6:04 pm
Oh, god, what the hell happened to her?
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
BarbadoSlim | August 7, 2006 at 6:06 pm
This trick is starting to look rough, very rough, and don’t even get me started on the idiotic pointy shoes.
Doc | August 7, 2006 at 6:08 pm
this just in… thats NOT jessica simpson… lookin more like homer simpson…
JessLovesIt | August 7, 2006 at 6:21 pm
That’s fat? I’m willing to wager she looks a hell of a lot better than most of the people trashing her
Mary45 | August 7, 2006 at 6:22 pm
It would have been a better shot if she had fallen down or something, since it appears she’s unescorted, unless of course, her date is taking the pics.
aivilo | August 7, 2006 at 6:23 pm
That’s just a butt-ugly dress.
willers | August 7, 2006 at 6:27 pm
she looks identical to your average hooker.
LilRach | August 7, 2006 at 6:29 pm
That is just a really unflattering dress! I think she’s still hot it’s just this outfit has been put together all wrong.
Bring back the blue, nipple showing dress.
LoneWolf | August 7, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Pics 1 and 2 look like a football player in drag. For a long time I thought she couldn’t take a bad picture, but those days, like Britney’s career, are gone forever.
Nick got out just in time.
HollyJ | August 7, 2006 at 6:38 pm
That dress is a nightmare, but I think her body looks great.
Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest | August 7, 2006 at 6:45 pm
She needs a big bone right in her dookie shoot! Why do I get the impression that she is prolly the lamest lay in Hollywood? Still, nice ta-tas. I’d give her a pearl necklace. She;s good for something. If she had a flat head it would be perfect to put my beer on while she services me.
Rickie | August 7, 2006 at 6:45 pm
Okay, I personally think that Jessica and all the other airheads should take a trip in a leaky, chum-filled boat to the center of the ocean, but come on! I hardly think she looks huge, or anything close to it. Let the whiny, self-centered retard have a bloated day and leave her alone! She’ll start to hear the pork rinds AND mayonnaise start calling to her if you get her TOO upset. ;)
ToiletDuck | August 7, 2006 at 6:51 pm
Who let this sow out of her pen??
ImSuicidal | August 7, 2006 at 6:54 pm
She looks like she could easily be distracted by shiny metal objects!
ToiletDuck | August 7, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Here, piggy piggy…
ToiletDuck | August 7, 2006 at 6:58 pm
Q – What is Jess’ favorite garnish on her hamburger??
A – A hot dog…
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 7, 2006 at 7:10 pm
The dress is just terrible. Makes her look all blocky and tranny. God bless Hollywood for gifting me a new adjective to play with. Tranny – when a chick looks like a guy, as in “she’s so tranny in that black dress”. She probably had that frock made from the sheets of her honeymoon bed, to keep Nick close to her at all times. The interior is swathed in splotches of his dried sea monkies.
I Fucked Your Honor Student | August 7, 2006 at 7:12 pm
This time when she climbs the Empire State Building atleast we can see up her dress.
Two words:
King Kong
Just_Me | August 7, 2006 at 7:23 pm
I have to admit that dress is pretty hideous. I bet the super plastic Ashley Simpson said “Oh that looks great on you…you have to get it.” And poor naive Jessica believed her.
PunjabPete | August 7, 2006 at 8:11 pm
I am surprised no one noticed her tits are now dropping to the same level as her elbows… Those implants are heading south for the bermuda triangle…
energy_guru | August 7, 2006 at 8:27 pm
Did she even look in the mirror? Maybe she did and thought that was her friend. She needs to learn how to stand up straight.
energy_guru | August 7, 2006 at 8:30 pm
Did she even look in the mirror? Maybe she did and thought that was her friend. She needs to learn how to stand up straight.
ffordegroupie | August 7, 2006 at 8:46 pm
I still feel sorry for her. She’s turned into a wreck since she dumped Nick, always going out in awful clothes and with that blank expression, and I betcha she’s regretting it every day.
cherrysmash | August 7, 2006 at 9:00 pm
it’s pretty damn sad when that’s considered big-boned. what happened to the phrase ‘chicken-legs’? is there no damn happy medium between ‘eat a sandwich’ and ‘oooh you’re a fatty, god you weigh 110, looking like a potato sack today. or maybe just a potato.’
I find that slightly redonkulous, but hey, that’s just me.
Sir Psycho Sexy | August 7, 2006 at 9:09 pm
15. I think you meant to say, “she looks identical to your average transvestite hooker, who used to play college ball, and has been off of her estrogen therapy for 6 weeks.” Otherwise, well said.
32. There’s “happy medium”, and then there’s bovine former linebacker. Did you see her Britney arms and shoulders, her softballs in socks tits migrating to her waist, which is almost as big as her hips, her tree trunk thighs? Damn!
PunjabPete | August 7, 2006 at 9:11 pm
It is soooo time for her second lift…
http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/archives/004052.html
Sir Psycho Sexy | August 7, 2006 at 9:12 pm
18. You forgot to put “*sarcasm*” in your post. The newbies will think you’re serious.
zebop | August 7, 2006 at 9:36 pm
Maybe it’s just me, but she doesn’t look fat. She just looks like she’s wearing a lousy-fitting dress.
Then again, if I saw her nekkid and feeding on the one-eyed trouser snake I might be able to judge a little better.
PandaPoacher | August 7, 2006 at 9:37 pm
she literally exudes stupidity. judging by the flat, unintelligent gaze she always has in her eyes shes either mildly retarded or on some *seriously* heavy shit.
PunjabPete | August 7, 2006 at 9:38 pm
Funny thing about this thread, every time I come back to read it I think that the titles says…
Jessica Simpson is BEING Boned…
She seems like the kind of chick that would nickname your slong on your second date. She called mine “The Cervical Hammer” as a matter of fact…
PandaPoacher | August 7, 2006 at 9:40 pm
…but still, shes got a great body (which isnt being shown off very well in that dress), and id be lying if i said i wouldnt fuck her bowlegged.
a friend of mine likes to say that a woman only needs to be smart enough not to shit in the middle of the living room floor… i guess shed be a perfect match for him.
then again, i havent seen her living room :)
ChickenScratch | August 7, 2006 at 9:42 pm
What the hell is going on with these pop stars lately?
AND…I hate Jessica because I love Dane Cook!
BarbadoSlim | August 7, 2006 at 10:08 pm
That look on her face tells me that if you were to paint a line in front of her she would follow it straight thru to the end, be it, a wall, a precipice, a Freightliner, my genitals…
MeanNate | August 7, 2006 at 10:19 pm
Pillowy bitch.
twzzlrgirl | August 7, 2006 at 10:25 pm
In that second picture, something about her face looks oddly like Britney Spears. I think she looks awful…
Hopeless?? Where have you gone?
Piledriver | August 7, 2006 at 10:41 pm
id still bone the hell out of her til the sun came up
stevie is a girls name | August 7, 2006 at 10:51 pm
I don’t think she IS fat but she definately LOOKS chubby in that God awful dress. Also her perky no bra days are over. Sorry hunny either buy a new set or wear a bra like the rest of us. Saggy titties are icky.
Justin Igger | August 7, 2006 at 10:54 pm
i would like for her to suck my dick
then i bend her over and give her a huge prick
she loves the way black feels inside
knock the bitch out and throw her in the trunk of my ride
she wants to box i fight her to
slap the ho down like a fucking jew
mel gibson cheers and acts all happy
but i shit on him to and make him nice and crappy
nobody likes me and it makes me sick
its cuz im Justin Igger and I have a big dick
for real though
non yall can rythme better then me yo
SVA1994 | August 7, 2006 at 11:05 pm
That outfit is certainly not flattering, but she hardly looks chubby.
iamsuperficial | August 7, 2006 at 11:07 pm
my friend is a tour guide in italy. jessica and her family was there 1 week ago. they were being explained what vestal virgins were and the mom says ‘they sure valued pure pussy back then.’
sounds like the whole family is stupid.
ptprez | August 7, 2006 at 11:13 pm
nick la-fay spent 2 seasons on tv trying to get his dick sucked…
this bitch is hotter than fuck, but dumb as shit…
methinks sex is a chore for her…
here | August 7, 2006 at 11:28 pm
The low-slung knockers with the sand-dollar sized aureolas, the high-rise hips: thick. Still, the expression of stupid wonderment doesn’t appear to bode well for conversation later. Easy to endure, however, when one gets their hands on the jello bombs during doggy.