Jessica Simpson is a mom, you guys

September 18th, 2009 // 55 Comments

And The Sad Saga of Jessica Simpson’s Missing Dog has finally come to an end. TMZ reports the animal group assisting Jessica in the search of her coyote-snatched Malti-Poo has been called off:

Sources close to the situation tell us Simpson and the FindToto.com people have exhausted every possible resource to find Jessica’s precious Daisy — last spotted in the grasp of a wild coyote.
We’re told Simpson’s camp used tracking dogs, scoured neighborhoods, put up posters, power-dialed neighbors and did everything else they could to find a clue … but came up short.

Because what good is Twitter if you can’t post sad delusions? Jessica says she’ll continue searching because, dammit, she’s a mother:

Still holding out hope despite the assholes that say is it a dumb thing to do. Daisy is my baby…why would I stop searching? I’m a mom.

Look, I don’t want to shit on pet owners here, but Jessica saying she’s a mom like her sister (See what’s happening here?) isn’t exactly a legitimate comparison. I’ve yet to see a dog that’s needed a ride to baseball practice, wrecked a car on prom night or come out of the closet during Thanksgiving dinner. Unless there’s some magical breed I’m not aware of that transforms into a human baby if you wish really, really hard.

Photos: WENN

  1. Adrienne

    You are all right having dogs is nothing like having children- dogs are better.

  2. turd the third

    hmmmm if she is Daisy’s mommy, I guess the bitch must be doing it doggie style……

  3. Danielle

    kudos to #33. i didn’t loose my dog to a coyote but she was attacked by another dog and killed a month ago. i feel her pain and the rest of you idiots should just jump already.

  4. LOL@TIMMY

    LOL what a retard. “omg i cant comment on this ad” xD

  5. my toughts exactly.. old, fat and all makeupish.. not nice compared to the normal hot jessica..

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