Jessica Simpson is a mom, you guys
And The Sad Saga of Jessica Simpson’s Missing Dog has finally come to an end. TMZ reports the animal group assisting Jessica in the search of her coyote-snatched Malti-Poo has been called off:
Sources close to the situation tell us Simpson and the FindToto.com people have exhausted every possible resource to find Jessica’s precious Daisy — last spotted in the grasp of a wild coyote.
We’re told Simpson’s camp used tracking dogs, scoured neighborhoods, put up posters, power-dialed neighbors and did everything else they could to find a clue … but came up short.
Because what good is Twitter if you can’t post sad delusions? Jessica says she’ll continue searching because, dammit, she’s a mother:
Still holding out hope despite the assholes that say is it a dumb thing to do. Daisy is my baby…why would I stop searching? I’m a mom.
Look, I don’t want to shit on pet owners here, but Jessica saying she’s a mom like her sister (See what’s happening here?) isn’t exactly a legitimate comparison. I’ve yet to see a dog that’s needed a ride to baseball practice, wrecked a car on prom night or come out of the closet during Thanksgiving dinner. Unless there’s some magical breed I’m not aware of that transforms into a human baby if you wish really, really hard.