Jessica Simpson is a model now

September 4th, 2009 // 143 Comments

Because this’ll show Tony Romo, Jessica Simpson was a runway model at the Ozlem Suer catwalk show in Paris yesterday where she exhibited the refined poise and grace of a Cracker Barrel waitress. Actually, that’s not fair. They’re good salt of the earth people.

I meant Applebee’s.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. BostonDonkey

    She is starting to look more like BART Simpson

  2. Kkb

    If her tits are that floppy & aged, it must look like a goddamn ham sandwich between her legs. A ham sandwich tangled up in an old fishing net, actually.

    Go ahead & throw up based on that image, I’ll wait.

  3. Hella

    ooh Jessy why?????

    I still think ur a pretty gal, and gorgeous woman, and i also think if you were still with Nick nothing of this would have happened, you guys were like a perfect couple. and yes you should be having kids by now. so work on it, and forget hollywood…….keep the body, i like it !!!!

  4. Umm…this isn’t working. Her head is outright scary in the first pic, all blocky looking.

    Maybe sing some more country songs Jess!

  5. jessWHYsoUGLY

    yikes!!….scarecrow is alive!!…she is nasty!…her face looks old and her tittays are to the floor…she is a fatty!!…no wonder romo left her ass their wasnt any gravity saggy tits and flat ass….whats the point of having a stupid girlfriend if she isnt even hott,..then you just have a stupid girlfriend…eww jessica eww

  6. jenna

    yea really..thank God for my little B cups that are so perky…’whew” and my little size 2 frame…beats looking like a man in drag with double D’s to your waistline and a size 12 for her 5’3 frame….what does she weight 140? i bet somewhere out there nick is thanking his lucky stars that he isnt fu*king a man anymore. why nick why??

  7. Alinka

    Oh my freaking God!!! Cellulite arms, horrible skin, saggy boobs and the lighting is not helping… She has no sense on how ridiculous she looks here…

  8. Dread not

    I am SHOCKED and DISMAYED that Jess hasn’t utilized Twitter to further whore herself. Mostly dismayed. But I guess sitting in front of a keyboard, pouting her lips and smashing the keys with her cute little angry fists won’t do it. Hey, Joe! Get off your fat ass, help Jess get online and start cyber pimping your daughter, for cripes sakes! Earn that 50% that your daughter pays you! * red faced * Oops. sorry there J.S.. I meant to say 10%. Mah bad.

  9. pbandj

    A model idiot.

  10. Nick

    Jessica Simpson is truly one of the UGLIEST DUDES on the planet.

    She is very MANNISH with a freaky HARSH face.

    Probably has to shave every day.

    Way too THICK.

    A nightmare.

  11. me

    I never thought I’d see a day when I thought Ashlee was way hotter than Jess. Jess is going way downhill. Who the hell tells her she looks great in this shit?

  12. dearghod

    dear god…that is some MAJOR droopage and what is she like 30 ? God damn.. if my nuts sagged like that I would botox them shits right quick

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  14. datroof

    She doesn’t have the poise, nor grace, to pull off wearing this dress. Sje’s too stiff and awkward. She moves like someone who just finished a weeklong “How To Be A Model” class.

    And whoever the hairstylist was needs to be beaten and kicked down the stairs. Epic fail on the hairstyle.

  15. nobody

    she’s a celebrity (still kind of). she should at least have the decency to get those puppies lifted or some shit.

  16. That lighting is making a mess. Harsh shadows. Pic 8, 15, armpit full of flab rolls.

    Her post workout pics were much more pleasant. She’s having some bad fortune this year.

  17. Bo

    Wow…she is not aging well.

  18. Bob

    Well, she certainly has the brains for it. Perhaps this is the set-up for her Republican nomination for Vice President in 2012.

  19. Darth

    This kind of modeling might be a bit too serious for her.Wasn’t there any cake for her to jump out?

  20. Galtacticus

    That’s a depressing looking life jacket!

  21. pepe

    This looks like an act in a French circus. Monsieur Jessica, the man with saggy boobs, attempts to walk wearing giant platform shoes on stubby tree stump legs.

  22. * Jessica wearing the dress in the pictures *

    Dn: Woah! Woah! Woah! What do you think you’re doing?

    Jessica: What?

    Dn: You’re not wearing THAT where we’re going. No way.

    Jessica: But I want to wear this dress to the kangaroo fights!

    Dn: Jeez, Jess. You look like a vampire out to suck some blood.

    * Dread resists for some moments, sees Jessica pouting, her head drooping, shoulders slumping, kicking at the dirt. He holds up a finger, as the light bulb glows over his head *

    Dn: Tell you what. You can wear that dress TO the kangaroo fights. Just wear a bikini underneath, so you can slip out of it in the car when we get there. Okay?

    * Jessica jumps up and down excitedly, while Dreads eyes follow the bouncing titties, smile a mile wide *

    Jessica: Oooooooh! I’m so happy! I’ll pleasure you with my mouth, now!

    * Jessica drops down. Dread feels good about things *

    Dn: It’s about compromise, people.

  23. john dough

    She’s been looking really depressed lately

  24. peachy003

    Omigosh this is hilarious!! Just as bad as the ads for her fashion line – she has NO idea how to model, she looks like she’s trying to hard. How pathetic.
    Leave it to the real models jess and go play with your dog or something.

  25. Julie K.

    She HAD amazing knockers!! HAD…She really needs to get her boobs tied around her neck. Just like i do…Time nor gravity has not been nice to me either. :(
    -Julie

  26. Cinderella

    OMG!!!! What the hell does she think she is.doing, she is not “Model” material. Come on, She looks horrible, I always thought she was ugly to begin with anyway. . I mean look at her, what was Romo thinking. I’m so glad he really now has a true blond and not a fake one. I saw all the photos and let me tell you, she is not “PRETTY” at all. She really thought she was all that, well, the media is laughing at her now. Poor thing, I mean I’m fat too, but I at least can make myself look better than that and I don’t want to make a joke of lmyself and try for the “runway”. You’ve got to be kiddin me. These photos make Romo look bad too. Sorry Romo, I still love you, glad you woke up and saw “coyote ugly”. Jessica, it’s time to put on your “BIG GIRL” panties on and leave them on. They fit girl, don’t be embarrassed. YOUR A BIG GIRL!!!!!

  27. chloe

    she’s wearing 2 sets of high high heels melded together [& just needs to accept her short stature], & she has a freaking vagina in her armpit.

  28. jzz

    I suggest lotion

  29. lalala

    YEAH, SHE S FAT, SHE S UGLY, SHE S OLD, SHE S SINGLE, HER TITS ARE FALLING BLA BLA BLA BUT THIS CHICK IS FUCKING RICH AND AT THE END OF THE DAY THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS YOU POOR FUCKS, WHILE YOU RE BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER IN YOUR SMALL SMELLY APARTMENT CRITIZING HOW UGLY SHE IS, WELL, SHE S IN HER FUCKING MANSION GETTING HER NAILS DONE AND A MASSAGE BY A SUPER MUSCULAR HOTTIE NEAR HER POOL ! SHE EVEN BUY A BOAT FOR A BF ! DAMN I NEVER SAW A “PRETTY CHICK LIKE YOU” DOING THIS !!! OR EVEN GETTING THIS KIND OF PUBLICITY, SO, HEY “BEAUTIFUL” NOBODIES, SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT HER I THINK SHE DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ! SO, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR TIME BASHING “CELEBRITIES” WHY DONT YOU ALL GET A LIFE ??? LMFAO !!!

  30. lalala

    YEAH, SHE S FAT, SHE S UGLY, SHE S OLD, SHE S SINGLE, HER TITS ARE FALLING BLA BLA BLA BUT THIS CHICK IS FUCKING RICH AND AT THE END OF THE DAY THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS YOU POOR FUCKS, WHILE YOU RE BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER IN YOUR SMALL SMELLY APARTMENT CRITIZING HOW UGLY SHE IS, WELL, SHE S IN HER FUCKING MANSION GETTING HER NAILS DONE AND A MASSAGE BY A SUPER MUSCULAR HOTTIE NEAR HER POOL ! SHE EVEN BUY A BOAT FOR A BF ! DAMN I NEVER SAW A “PRETTY CHICK LIKE YOU” DOING THIS !!! OR EVEN GETTING THIS KIND OF PUBLICITY, SO, HEY “BEAUTIFUL” NOBODIES, SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT HER I THINK SHE DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ! SO, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR TIME BASHING “CELEBRITIES” WHY DONT YOU ALL GET A LIFE ??? LMFAO !!!

  31. lalala

    YEAH, SHE S FAT, SHE S UGLY, SHE S OLD, SHE S SINGLE, HER TITS ARE FALLING BLA BLA BLA BUT THIS CHICK IS FUCKING RICH AND AT THE END OF THE DAY THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS YOU POOR FUCKS, WHILE YOU RE BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER IN YOUR SMALL SMELLY APARTMENT CRITIZING HOW UGLY SHE IS, WELL, SHE S IN HER FUCKING MANSION GETTING HER NAILS DONE AND A MASSAGE BY A SUPER MUSCULAR HOTTIE NEAR HER POOL ! SHE EVEN BUY A BOAT FOR A BF ! DAMN I NEVER SAW A “PRETTY CHICK LIKE YOU” DOING THIS !!! OR EVEN GETTING THIS KIND OF PUBLICITY, SO, HEY “BEAUTIFUL” NOBODIES, SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT HER I THINK SHE DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ! SO, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR TIME BASHING “CELEBRITIES” WHY DONT YOU ALL GET A LIFE ??? LMFAO !!!

  32. lalala

    YEAH, SHE S FAT, SHE S UGLY, SHE S OLD, SHE S SINGLE, HER TITS ARE FALLING BLA BLA BLA BUT THIS CHICK IS FUCKING RICH AND AT THE END OF THE DAY THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS YOU POOR FUCKS, WHILE YOU RE BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER IN YOUR SMALL SMELLY APARTMENT CRITIZING HOW UGLY SHE IS, WELL, SHE S IN HER FUCKING MANSION GETTING HER NAILS DONE AND A MASSAGE BY A SUPER MUSCULAR HOTTIE NEAR HER POOL ! SHE EVEN BUY A BOAT FOR A BF ! DAMN I NEVER SAW A “PRETTY CHICK LIKE YOU” DOING THIS !!! OR EVEN GETTING THIS KIND OF PUBLICITY, SO, HEY “BEAUTIFUL” NOBODIES, SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT HER I THINK SHE DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ! SO, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR TIME BASHING “CELEBRITIES” WHY DONT YOU ALL GET A LIFE ??? LMFAO !!!

  33. a model with extremly saggy boobs…

  34. yeahhhhhhh

    oh damn her titties . its like my daddy used to say, scoop up your slob fat fuck.

  35. del

    If she is so rich, why is she hoping people will watch her degrade herself by stuffing her lard into horrible outfits like this on a lame reality show? That doesn’t sound like a rich person, that sounds like someone so desperate for money, she’ll do anything.

  36. Maggie

    Wow…its sad how all of you idiots are brainwashed by the media that boobies are supposed to look hard and not move and bounce when you walk. WRONG!!!….unfortunatly this is REALITY and its most likely going to happen if you have REAL and big boobies…gravity takes over and there is NOTHING that can be done about it. Whats funny is that most of these men will realize that when they get married and their wives tits do the saaaaaaame thing. lol hahaaaa

  37. Yoda

    Re: 136 – THANK YOU. Men do not GET this…

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  39. dffg

    Corpse bride plus cow-like breasts…
    sooo attractive i think i ‘ll masturbate over a dead horse

  40. Jessie J

    To the HATERS! Jessica is very BEAUITFUL & SEXY stop hating well just put it this way her ass would make a sunday face out of you Bitch!

  41. until you unleash your pendulous lovelies for all to see, I’m not interested

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