Jessica Simpson is a model now

September 4th, 2009 // 143 Comments

Because this’ll show Tony Romo, Jessica Simpson was a runway model at the Ozlem Suer catwalk show in Paris yesterday where she exhibited the refined poise and grace of a Cracker Barrel waitress. Actually, that’s not fair. They’re good salt of the earth people.

I meant Applebee’s.

Photos: WENN

  1. Jail

    Everyone always talks about her saggy boobs but no one ever says a darn word about her dude legs.

  2. yuki

    hillbillie chic!
    she can totally accessorize with some corn on the cob and a bowl of fritterz

  3. Well, at least Applebees waitresses aren’t the *bottom* of the food service totem pole. I mean, there’s always “Po Folks.”

  4. debagger

    Oh my, she is not going to age well.

  5. ROUGH before dishonor

    ROUGH is pulling for you Jess. (Literally) Eff the haters…

  6. ickyick

    Wow… Fat, ugly and old… She’s NOT a model…

  7. ickyick

    I wonder who’s dick step-daddy had to suck to get her into this show…

  8. Trevor

    - until you unleash your pendulous lovelies for all to see, I’m not interested

  9. KK

    Messica always looks slightly retarded.

  10. ickyick

    My problem is that when she had the MTV show, she was smoking hot… Even then I’d tell people I’d hit it (so long as her mouth only opened to service me)… But now what’s the selling point?

  11. Nameless

    It’s obvious that she is losing all her weight in an unhealthy way. Her tits have eaten themselves away. She’ll never get them back even if she gains the weight back.

  12. Suzy

    Shit, I’m 24 and still looking way better than that. Methinks she made a makeup artist and designer angry. They must have known she looked like shit when they put her out there. Christ, those are forty year old titties. Get some support! She looks at least fifteen years older than she should, here.

  13. Parker

    I want her to model my penis in her anus. It will set the fashion world on fire.

  14. sad

    I think this is funny because I bet every single one of you commenting on her weight is fat and the only way your picture would be posted on a web site would be through that creatures of wal-mart blog.

  15. jester

    The only thing I’d like to see her model is my dick in her mouth.

  16. Jackie

    How embarrassing for her.

  17. Femme Fatale

    So they sag.
    They’re huge natural veiny breasts, the best type!
    What will it take to satisfy you fucking creepy, celeb gossip site perusing virgins?
    Fake ones don’t feel real, and natural ones sag.
    Basic anatomy gents, now get some actual fucking work done in that cubicle.

  18. techman

    I love the look of concentration on her face when she’s walking down the runway…”left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot….I’m so glad I’m not chewing gum!”

  19. Capt Stu

    I’m a senior citizen and I would consider her a coyote date — chew my arm off if I touched her.

  20. Pitiful

    It is so pitiful to see the comments on her breasts being saggy. The ONLY breasts that are that large and DON’T sag are FAKE ones. Men have gotten way too used to seeing fake tits and thinking THAT is what NORMAL is because it’s NOT.

    If you want a girl with big breasts, deal with the fact that gravity dictates they will SAG. There is no way around that other than injecting oneself with SILICON.

  21. (MDT): ( ) For those of you who turn into prolific and inappropriate texters after a few drinks, be warned: your SMS ramblings may end up as someone else’s entertainment online.

  22. sarah

    ok first of all jsimp is almost 30. and she looks like it.

    second of all, this is why ‘real women’ dont make good models. they look awful in these clothes. she looks like a steamship in this. and this is AFTER hours of hair and makeup. the hair also is stupid on her.. this sort of ice queen diva look is hard to pull off when you’re iq is sub-70.

  23. nice outfit Jessica!

  24. KIKI

    74. What do you bet she practiced her model pout in the mirror.

  25. KIKI

    I look like I am talking to myself…..Ha, that comment was for Sarah.

  26. Karmen

    Omg what is wrong with her boobs.
    I’ve never rated her anyway but atleast I had her tits to perv on, stupid bitch’s got nothing now :(

  27. Jamie's Uterus

    Sad, tragic and pathetic. She must be so jealous of her sister.

  28. joe blow

    What’s with the pile of shredded wheat on top of her head?

  29. ew

    #77. Her sister is HIDEOUS. They both are, the only thing her hideous sister has that makes her superior looks wise is that she is not fat, but she has an unfortunate body and a face that could make a gorwn man cry for his mommy. Jessica is all single and desperate, but Ashley is married to that heinous douche Pete Wentz, i repeat she is MARRIED TO PETE WENTZ, which as pathetic as lonley Jess is makes Assface-Ashley even more pathetic. On top of it she birthed and now has to raise a little wentz spawn. Hello that’s like ahving to birth and raise a hairless cat crossed with a Oompa Loompa and a disgusting goth punk kid you went to school with. I mean for fucks sake these women could not gross me out any harder if they tried.

    Hey remember when if you were famous and you got old and ugly you would just disappear into irrelevancy or how about when only people with real talent were famous to begin with? Anyone remeber those days? Ya me neither.

  30. no

    WHAT THE F???????????????????????? Shit and I thought that double belted look and her daisy dukes and leather pants were awful. Is she mentally ill??? Is she heading to Britney land cuz I find once they start looking like fucking hell it’s partially cuz they are effing crazy.

    #72. But Sarah, her IQ is sub-70, at best.

  31. KEN

    I now really understand Tony needing a break….. squint your eyes and those boobies could be your Mom’s……yeech. I thought she might have gotten a liposuction and a tit job in trade for Tony’s nice present. Jessica has no real talent and apparantly not enought sense to flash her saggy junk with the cameras rolling……

  32. KEN

    BTW… what is that hairy stuff between her boobies? Duh, it is her clam!

  33. ROUGH before dishonor

    Oh no with those arms, I hope Jess skip the barbecues for the upcoming weekend. Im calling for Pappy Joe’s resignation…Im outraged.

  34. susy

    She was really only attractive for a nano-second. It is all downhill from here folks. Even if she loses weight, her face will still look haggard. Next.

  35. omg

    Dude, it’s just a horrible dress. They could have chosen a much more flattering dress for her to wear, but they chose not to do so. Poor thing, a girl with boobs that big needs support, yanno????

  36. you know what, I almost feel sorry for her. :(

  37. MODEL my azz


    SAGGIES!..time for Augmentation.

  38. norton

    Mid 20′s….. looks like early 40′s.

  39. Someone who knows better

    Why do her boobs look so sad?

  40. Mama Pinkus

    she could hold real melons under hers

  41. she needs to get some sleep. she looks very tired.

  42. Nero

    Why is she carrying that funeral wreath around her neck?

  43. Darth

    It looks like that two puppies die.

  44. Gando

    The dress has something macabre,i like it!

  45. Kelley

    The dress is beautiful but has been ruined by the awful (WTF?) hair and, er, unsupported cleavage. Yikes. She looks hideous … nothing wrong with the dress (on the right person).

  46. The Doctor

    Ugly dress, ugly hair, arms too hard – this Southern girl looks about as comfortable on a Paris runway as a lobster does in the tank before cookin’. Embrace your boobs, Jessica, show them off – and stop trying to fit into the world of Paris snots – you’re a good ‘ol Southern girl singer, think Dolly Pardon, become Dolly Pardon. Everyone loves Dolly, she had some hits, doesn’t take herself so too seriously – I mean, will you look at these stone-faced pics of Jessica on a PARIS RUNWAY of all places? She is so out-of-place, it’s pathetic.

  47. Zippy Doo Dah

    Wow. She used to be hot.

  48. F*ck you back dude

    @72. sarah and @95. Kelley, I agree.

    This is why modeling should be left to ACTUAL models. This dress would look 100 times better if a tall gorgeous SLIM/THIN model had worn it. If we continue to have “real and curvy” women/men modeling cloths, they would make them look like shit, put people off from buying the cloths and the economy will collapse once again.

  49. Do FreeBird

    Did they run out of plus size models in Paris?

  50. lovelyriot

    Thanks Jessica for making my non-saggy A cups look good.

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