I was tempted to leave these pictures out of context and just let you think Jessica Simpson had turned into a homeless wino, but I figured you guys are way too smart and good looking to have fallen for that. Strong too. I’ve seen you at the gym. What do you bench, like 300 pounds? Nice.
NOTE: Oh, right, the pictures. They’re from the set of Major Movie Star which, judging from the pictures, will win at least three Academy Awards. Four, if they’re willing to give Jessica Simpson two for her acting.
Photos: Splash
havoc | September 20, 2007 at 10:08 am
Nothing wrong with drunk chicks…..
.
Lovely | September 20, 2007 at 10:10 am
That’s just silly .. horses don’t wear dresses
Magicman | September 20, 2007 at 10:11 am
I’m truly curious as too what must be going through her head now, seeing how usualy it’s empty… no cells you know?
OkieHeather | September 20, 2007 at 10:11 am
why does she look like a stepford wife?
Princess | September 20, 2007 at 10:11 am
no that’s john mayer’s doorstep..
lux | September 20, 2007 at 10:13 am
That movie looks worse than the Dukes of Hazzard probably was.
Athena | September 20, 2007 at 10:16 am
lol wut in the butt
sportsdvl | September 20, 2007 at 10:17 am
I don’t believe this is from a movie set. What idiot would put this no-talent hack in a movie? This is from her real life! The only difference is when she gets drunk and falls down she usually falls on to random penises.
kathy | September 20, 2007 at 10:19 am
i fucking hate her. can we move on?
Buc Cluck | September 20, 2007 at 10:20 am
wow the army really will take about anyone these days
LadyJane | September 20, 2007 at 10:23 am
Looks like my regularr Saturday nights to me. Except it’d be whiskey in the bottle, I’d be naked AND smoking a joint.
Anyways….
super trooper | September 20, 2007 at 10:24 am
She’s so annoying. She needs to just go away.
Barry LeFarge | September 20, 2007 at 10:24 am
Don’t lie. That’s not a movie set. Southern girls love to booze. It’s a well known fact.
Texas Tranny | September 20, 2007 at 10:25 am
What the hell is falling out from under her dress? In the first pic I thought it was her panties, but the second pic looks more like the hem of the dress.
Texas Tranny | September 20, 2007 at 10:26 am
LadyJane,
Now I do know I love you.
tight lipped smiler | September 20, 2007 at 10:27 am
She knows how to keep that bottle upright while flailing around showing her tits but again that’s not acting.
Sarah | September 20, 2007 at 10:33 am
Uhm. Is that even part of the movie or is she just hanging off the sound guy?
Montoya | September 20, 2007 at 10:37 am
She isn’t convincing me at all. They would have to pay me to see this hack in any movie.
Bob | September 20, 2007 at 10:39 am
Hey, if you guys all hate her can I have her?
jrzmommy | September 20, 2007 at 10:39 am
Even from a still photo, with no sound, I can tell it’s bad acting.
#2–HAHA!!!
Riotboy | September 20, 2007 at 10:39 am
Is this a bio-pic about Britney?
Scott | September 20, 2007 at 10:42 am
I think it’s funny she is drinking Dom Perignon. How many wino’s do you know who drink Dom?
Sociopath | September 20, 2007 at 10:49 am
Jessica is such a fucking loser. Shes just like Beyonce.
schack | September 20, 2007 at 10:52 am
#22. It’s knock-off Don Perignion, just like her polyester hair extensions. Actually, it’s diluted polyeurethane, which explains a lot.
I want to ask her, Jessica Simpson, where has the love gone?
bob | September 20, 2007 at 10:52 am
yeah, that looks like it’s going to be another GREAT movie with Jessica Simpson. Is her daddy the producer again? #8, Papa Joe is the one who puts her in movies, because no one else would.
Brandy | September 20, 2007 at 10:53 am
“CUT” TAKE – #1002 Now Jessica spill the booze all over you goodies and stumble as you try to get up.
schack | September 20, 2007 at 11:02 am
you got your first singing gig in the church choir.
you felt the spirit swirling about you at your first retreat. your hair, then silky and shining with good nutrition and summer sun, blew in a breeze which touched no other one.
your first record deal, you got singing Amazing Grace a capella.
and then they put you on Atkins. your hair thinned and became coarse, your spirit shrank as your skin turned a neon shade of orange, and your hopes, which had never found respite as born into words, drowned in the deafening noise of IRRESISTABLE.
jessica, jessica, where has the love gone?
Tim | September 20, 2007 at 11:04 am
The last picture is…remarkable. You sure this isn’t yet another remake of Dawn of the Dead?
saradevil | September 20, 2007 at 11:07 am
Maybe I’ve just had five shots of tequila, but I would bend her over and do her like Joe Simpson.
By maybe, let’s just assume, yes, I have just had five shots of tequila.
smegma | September 20, 2007 at 11:09 am
The top pic looks like it was taken at home, right after a typical night with Papa Joe – she’s wearing a soiled wedding dress and appears to have pulled a wine bottle out of her ass.
Lt. Col. Gary Harrell | September 20, 2007 at 11:12 am
“We’ve got a Trannyhawk down, we’ve got a Trannyhawk down. Super-69 is down. We have a tranny down in the city.”
adeliza | September 20, 2007 at 11:12 am
Stupid fucking cunt.
FRIST!!! | September 20, 2007 at 11:18 am
Why they keep putting her in movies I don’t know…
She sucked ASS in that pizza commercial….
woowoo | September 20, 2007 at 11:21 am
why do they let this moron “act” in movies???
Nicole | September 20, 2007 at 11:26 am
Why in the world are they letting her dumbass make another movie? GAG ME!
schack | September 20, 2007 at 11:28 am
because, woowoo, when your dairy cows have cancer, you milk them till the last drop. then you drive a spike through their heads, cut out the tumors, and sell the meat at a loss to cheap producers looking for a deal, who then pummel the meat to make it soft, and sell it as a suspiciously delicious, low-cost cheeseburger.
zil | September 20, 2007 at 11:33 am
you are RIGHT fish, I am waaay too good looking to fall for THAT.
she's off her meds again | September 20, 2007 at 11:34 am
it’s the cancer that makes it delicious
Ooba Gooba | September 20, 2007 at 11:45 am
Why do they keep trying to make a movie star out of this chick? She’s completely talentless! The only thing she has going for her is her chest. Wake up Hollywood, we don’t want to see her in movies!
lj | September 20, 2007 at 11:54 am
I love the huge wrinkle in her forehead. She’s only in movies because Papa Joe is the produce. She’s a loser, no talent , pathetic phoney.
lambman | September 20, 2007 at 11:59 am
she looks like a linebacker in that dress.
nicole | September 20, 2007 at 12:02 pm
First of all I love Jessica! Jessica is gorgeous!! Thank-god she’s no Shitney Spears….. she’s just a sweet beautiful talented girl!! Love her!
Do_Freebird | September 20, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Shouldn’t she be lying on her side on a living room carpet, trying to eat a cheeseburger?
schack | September 20, 2007 at 12:16 pm
nicole is a publicist, paid to muddy waters, but the vote is unanimous, and one handful of mud aint gonna cloud up a crystal-clear ocean.
Juno | September 20, 2007 at 12:17 pm
She has a CRAZY wonky eye in the last picture. That poor guy.
babyglyniss | September 20, 2007 at 12:39 pm
she’s cute~
????!!!!
???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wastedOne | September 20, 2007 at 12:51 pm
wow……that movie looks terrible
Starbucks Whore | September 20, 2007 at 1:42 pm
LOL, #5! Comment of the day!
Metric Giraffe | September 20, 2007 at 3:00 pm
@24:
It’s not in her music, no. She needs a vacation to wake up the cavemen and taken them to Mexico. Jessica! Jessica Simpson!
tomkat | September 20, 2007 at 3:26 pm
She is so brilliant – you can’t even tell she’s acting!