Jessica Simpson goes to the beach

April 3rd, 2009 // 75 Comments

Here’s some grainy, some not-so-grainy shots of Jessica Simpson on vacation in Mexico. After looking at these, I’m starting to think none of us fully understood the actual size of Jessica Simpson’s breasts. I mean, I knew they were big. I just didn’t know you could build a condo on them. Is this what they meant by the housing bubble? No? Not even close? Damn.

Photos: Flynet

  1. blackout


  2. blackout

    My first First!

  3. Perry

    Well that was a waste of 2 minutes

  4. Sheva

    not her best look

  5. Yes these effing things are massive and godbless her!!

  6. Jimmy Jim

    wtf? why were these pics shot using a kodak disposable 35mm?

  7. Richard McBeef

    2 blurry 2 jack off 2

  8. Her dad jerks off on them four times a day. That’s how they grew so big.

  9. Boobhead

    I feel sorry for her with having to carry those giant bags around all day long. It must really hurt her back, and she must get and lot of strange looks and sick comments from truck drivers and other white trash guys. I think we should all chip-in and pay for her to get a reduction. Or, she could just sell her nipples on eBay since I heard that they remove them in a reduction and give you tattooed ones instead to pay for it herself. Or, she could just give up the celebrity thing, she’s getting too old anyway and become a wet nurse like Selma Hyack did.

  10. Tim

    Fat, sloppy fat hillbilly girl.

  11. @7 – if you close your eyes, it gets clearer.

  12. mikeock

    never mind her tits, check out that ass!

  13. ktb

    @ 9, they don’t tattoo nipples on you, what a boobhead!

  14. I knew she had big boobs before but this is ridiculous…

    -she looks like she got stuffed with 2 of Romo’s pigskin under the chest area…

  15. James

    Imagine how disappointed you’d be if your last memory of Jessica was when she was fit and hot, and then you stumbled on this mess.

  16. Mr. Jones

    Pic #10 – looks like a hankerchief draped over an oven-stuffer Roaster.

  17. cf

    Are these recent? If so, it looks like she lost those extra 15 lbs.

  18. Amaranth

    looks like most of her fat went to her boobs which is awesome! I’d hit it in a second!

  19. random dude

    uh, something about “still hit it”, I dunno. Yeah.

  20. Darth

    Is this really Jessica Simpson.

  21. Gando

    The quality of the pics are very average.

  22. Galtacticus

    The curves of her hips are very smooth.

  23. Pat

    I’m glad there are those pics that make it clear she’s sunbathing, because at first glance I thought she had beached.

  24. Nero

    If she bangs like a locomotive i still would hit her.

  25. RichPort's Ghost

    I’d tap that ass….. Oh who am I kidding? We all know the only ass I’d tap is that of an effeminate black or latino?

    On the receiving side… Darnell, Lucious, Tyrone, Javier, Juan, Carlos — call me!!!!!!!!!!

    Me Rrrrruuuuvvvvvvv pigmented cock!!!!

  26. Delgo (The Gustoppo)

    Someone needs to install the Grain Surgery filter in CS3.

  27. Rhialto

    When were these pics shot.

  28. Sauron

    Obviously cellphone-pics.

  29. Remi

    Is it me, or is there some nipple slippage?

  30. what a dumb bitch, she;s below nick laches level now, and she would probably crush him if she were on top, tony romo like to be with manly sized girls obviously

    click the link to see some cheating slut:

  31. Richport like's em male and tall

    Looks like another lonely weekend for me posting idiotic comments and praying someone anyone will respond. I was hoping that one of my stumps would regenerate magically. I read something about that happening somewhere. I think it was in the Hobbit or something of that sort.

    Any takers?

  32. Deacon Jones

    I’m insanely turned on and disgusted at the same time…

  33. Your President

    I like my white meat a little less fatty.

  34. Chris

    She’s like KFC – it looks good if you’re really hungry and it can be a greasy nasty treat, but afterward it makes you sick to even look at the leftovers.

  35. Blue Eyes

    # 31 Richport – I’ll be your sidekick…..least you know what you like. Unlike some of these other fruit cakes. I’m sure you’ve read some of my comments by now. New to the scene lookin to shake things up. You are lonely no more!!!

  36. Smarg

    No wonder Romo is still hittin’ that. Gawd, you could suck those babies for days….

  37. Useless Ape in the White House

    I’m B’lack Oboombox, and by taxing every employer and corporation so much that they fire every employee, go bankrupt, or move overseas, I’ll create jobs.

    Also, by spending more money in 1 year than George Bush did in 8 years, on numerous uneeded liberal gov’t programs that will fail and cost 5 times their projected budgets, I’ll create even more jobs.

    Furthermore, by printing trillions of new dollars to pay for all my great job ideas, the money that has no collateral backing, will plummet the value of the US dollar to less than a peso, thrusting the economy into an irrecoverable depression and turning the US into a third world country, I’ll create many more jobs.

    And by buying 32 new teleprompters for $400,000 a piece, so I can speak very eloquently when I tell you I’ll create jobs, I’ll create even more jobs.


  38. Blue Eyes

    On Jessica, at least she is confident enough to come out in a bathing suite and say…..who the f*ck cares what other people say about my body. Sad that she can’t even sun bathe without some perv taking pictures of her. Bet you say, “she’s famous that’s how it goes….when you damn well, famous or not if you saw some strange person taking pics of you….they would get the shit beat out of them. Except the ones who like that, and you better believe there out there. She must be doing something right, good or bad people are talkin. You go girl!!!

  39. as if

    Jessica has zero confidence about her body right now.

  40. The Pulse

    I did see that report that he bought 32 telepromters for a little over $12 million dollars. It’s so wonderful that Obumma’s main focus is reading from a teleprompter instead of doing something that might actually help the country. The guy is so clueless and incompetent he makes GW seem like Einstein. No worries, in 4 years he’ll be gone, maybe sooner, and this little liberal experiment will be over and done with. Hopefully they don’t create to much irreversible damage before then.

  41. Blue Eyes

    #39 – I didn’t know you knew her…..

  42. Tattooed nipples: done for reconstruction surgery after a mastectomy
    Ass: No hips, indicating a fatty
    Obama: At least he can read, unlike the previous President.

  43. as if

    #41 – you don’t have to know her, you simply have to observe what she says and does with eyes that aren’t all glazed over from reading 100 fan magazines like a complete lemming.

  44. AteIsEnough

    If you’re gonna’ post pics like this, please use pictures that have some quality. What a waste of time…but she does have some inpressive guns!!

  45. do you really have a pulse?

    Obama leads the G20 conference to consensus on major issues, the stock market continues its rally, economists talk of the recession possibly bottoming out.

    Yeah, he’s incompetent. He forgot to wink at the Queen and sneak up behind the German Chancellor to give her an unwanted neck massage.

  46. Useless Ape in the White House

    Does anybody have some Anbesol gel? It turns out the myth is true, they really ARE bigger. A lot bigger.

  47. Rhialto

    Where’s my babe.

  48. The Right Way

    #38 Blue Eyes is obviously a severely obesce pig who hasn’t seen her vagina or her toes since adolescence. The stench coming from your stank cunt must be overwhelmingly disgusting.

  49. Vince Lombardi

    Recommend to your photog to stop using his cell phone to take pics. Try a camera, buddy.

  50. Tony Romo's Beard

    I’ve been dieting (drinking chocloate “milk” made with ex-lax and metamucil) for weeks, my publicist called every major camera weilding douche to let them know where’d I’d be, AND I borrowed Paris Hilton’s bra, and all I get are these grainy fucking pictures? I’m SO yelling at my Dad when he crawls into bed with me early tomorrow morning……..

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