Here’s Jessica Simpson performing at Madison Square Garden last night in a skort. Since I have a penis, I have no idea what the hell a skort is, but this is Jessica’s explanation for wearing one, according to Us Magazine:
“I’ve had times when my pants split right down the middle when I bent down to reach a note,” the singer told fans, laughing. “That’s why I’m wearing a skort – not a skirt, not a short – just so they wouldn’t split.”
There’s only two acceptable reasons why a person’s clothes should rip off his/her body:
1. You’re the Incredible Hulk.
2. You’re one of those losers who wear Baby Gap tees.
Uh. RARGH! Hulk Smash! …. Can someone drive me to the mall?