Jessica Simpson had a career slump in 2005 so she starred in an exercise video for Speedfit. She signed a multimillion-dollar contract, but decided at the last minute to scrap the project. She prevented the tape from being released by not giving final approval. The owner of Speedfit is now suing Jessica’s pants off. Page Six reports:
Speedfit owner Alex Astilean sued Simpson last year for $10 million – and since she’s refused to settle, Astilean’s now suing her manager dad, Joe, as well. Astilean said, “They are hurting millions of fat people in America.”
Okay, maybe that’s a bit over the top. I doubt there’s million of fat people sitting around waiting for Jessica Simpson to cure them of morbid obesity. So nobody’s hurting. Unless Jessica’s going into their homes and knocking buckets of fried chicken out of their hands. She already tried that once at Britney’s place and almost lost an arm. Thank God for skin grafts.
TS | February 19, 2008 at 12:33 pm
omg FIRST!!!
Tommy Mayo | February 19, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Srecondd
Ted from LA | February 19, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I highly recommend Jessica get with the program. She has an inner hairy obese beast dying to get out.
havoc | February 19, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Airheads for Speedfit…..
I like it. Its catchy……
.
Jennifer2 | February 19, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I am just a bit curious…Her profile was found on millionaire dating site ‘BillionaireCupid dot com’ last week.
pointandlaugh | February 19, 2008 at 12:39 pm
yeah I am sure Jessica Simpson is a fitness guru. LOL
Mal Gusto | February 19, 2008 at 12:41 pm
That jacket is fucking awful!
veggiwhore | February 19, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Fat people work out??
dude | February 19, 2008 at 12:46 pm
the jacket looks like a michael jackson wardrobe reject from the 80′s
BTW, ever since the Lohan pics were posted, I’m getting awfully good at typing with one hand.
Frank Lucas' Bitch | February 19, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Fat people are people?!
gits | February 19, 2008 at 12:52 pm
The jacket is an homage to the bus she rides.
Kimmy | February 19, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Jessica Simpson makes more fat women cry than Jenny Craig.
Harry Ballzack | February 19, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Hey # 5 – Let me cure your curosity your dumb fucking-fuck !
billionaire cupid dot com is on fire ! No mor pay checks for their spammers until late July. ALL their records (including payroll) were torched setting of a massive burning of the website. So lay down and die already you keyboard warrior. Nobody likes a “hanger-0n” … so just die already ….N-kay ?
The Office Whore | February 19, 2008 at 12:54 pm
You think she just runs in circles and falls down??
D. Richards (Saint.) | February 19, 2008 at 12:55 pm
If I was in the position of the Speedfit guy, I’d sue for Jessica’s lobotomy.
Or, settle out of court by Simpson agreeing to get a full hysterectomy — I’d even pay for it.
Mike | February 19, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Was the video about how to eat a entire bag of Cheetos? That is the only work out fat people get.
Grunion | February 19, 2008 at 1:07 pm
She’s still alive?
Auntie Kryst | February 19, 2008 at 1:10 pm
“They are hurting millions of fat people in America.” Truly that Alex Astilean is his fat brother’s keeper. That said, $10 million isn’t enough, St. Alex should ask for more. Fuck the fatties, what about the injustice suffered by millions of 12 year old boys requiring masturbation material? Who shall speak for them? Vive la revolucion del mano!
deaconjones | February 19, 2008 at 1:11 pm
@17. Yes. Mike hasen’t sat on her yet.
Jessica Has No Talent | February 19, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Jessica probably hates the way her tummy protrudes in the video.
havoc | February 19, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I thought BillionaireCupid dot com was under federal indictment?
I’m not sure, but didn’t they bilk hundreds of subscribers out of millions of dollars?
And now they’re under investigation for identity theft for selling people’s information who just happened to visit their website?
Just curious……..
.
sicasso | February 19, 2008 at 1:22 pm
That jacket looks toasty warm. The kind of toasty warm you feel when you burn a heap of fat people.
Ang | February 19, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I don’t think fat people want an exercise video where the leader says “Ready? Let’s start! One..two..four…nine…three…umm…bee…dee…der…duh…and DOYE! Good job!”
Anonymous | February 19, 2008 at 1:23 pm
havoc,
If this is true, why does Superficial allow them to continue to post?
BunnyButt | February 19, 2008 at 1:25 pm
18, Auntie, yet again, we’re thinking along similar lines. The only people being hurt by the failure to release this video are the guys who would jerk off to it; however, I doubt they number in the millions, and they aren’t all fat (though, no doubt, some are).
eastcoastgirl | February 19, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Fat people hurt themselves. They need to push their fat asses away from the table.
Mike | February 19, 2008 at 1:26 pm
@19 Decon, the last time I saw you on TV, you made Norbert look skinny. Maybe you should just keep your fat mouth shut and have another donut,
Mia | February 19, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I just have to say don’t bash all fat people. There are genetic reasons for some peoples weight issues. Don’t judge everyone until you know for sure they are just “donut pushers”
Auntie Kryst | February 19, 2008 at 1:36 pm
@25 You’re right BB, it’s not in the millions. Yet if even one lil’ shaver can’t shake hands with Mr. Happy, is that not tragic enough? It’s just sad. *sniff* Sorry I don’t mean to get choked up. I need a tissue…several actually.
Judd G | February 19, 2008 at 1:39 pm
I hate that stupid bitch!
nick | February 19, 2008 at 1:40 pm
why is she wearing a jacket intended for a 5 year old? did she steal it and eat the child? is it supposed to have very short sleeves? did she not notice when she put it on? and why does she have the same expression on all 5 pictures?jessica Simpson makes me very philosophical………
7 | February 19, 2008 at 1:54 pm
@28
ANYBODY can get in great shape no matter what genetics they got dealt. Lazy people use all kinds of excuses, such as genetics, to avoid proper dieting and exercise. Obesity is a decision. I exercise every other day for 2 hours with weights/reverse crunches/push-ups/aerobics and watch what I eat to maintain a weight of ~187 lbs at 6’2″ as a 28 year old male. I have plenty of obese relatives (who doesn’t these days) and it is my lifestyle for years, not genetics, that has shaped my body. Working out is a rewarding addiction for me and I am not happy if I miss even a day or two. I love life and have a high energy level which makes me wonder how people can stand to be out of shape, big, and unhealthy?
The Shine | February 19, 2008 at 2:20 pm
@10 No, but they have money.
sportsdvl | February 19, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Jessica didn’t want to do the DVD because she doesn’t understand the “magic” of television.
Oh, #1 & 2 – total losers.
#32 – you are an ass. while most fat people are fat because they are lazy there are certain people who have genetic issues. But, we are all so happy to know how much you love yourself.
mememe | February 19, 2008 at 2:38 pm
@32–i’ve played basketball nearly my whole life, including in college, so i’m NOT at all fat, but shut the hell up. bcuz YOU have a family of obese relatives but you’re not fat, that must mean no one’s genes can determine their weight? you know nothing of genetics and i will need for you to shut your face ASAPly. and I thank you.
gotmilk? | February 19, 2008 at 2:39 pm
32, your post is equivalent to the women who post that they’re hotter than this celebrity or their tits are bigger than that celebrity.
point is, no one cares.
Who's your Romo now bitch? | February 19, 2008 at 2:50 pm
The owner of Speedfit is now suing Jessica’s pants off. Hmmm, yeah lemme at that big can of hers so I drill it all night long. Finish up with a little deepthroat oral n some tit-tay fuckin n there ya go
BunnyButt | February 19, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Auntie, I’d say I feel your pain, but, ew, I don’t want to!
32, damn, my sister who had Down Syndrome clearly had it wrong. Rather than blaming genetics for her defective heart, short and stocky stature, “mongoloid” features and mental retardation, she should’ve just had a better attitude and been less lazy. Then she would’ve looked like a supermodel, had a genius IQ and lived longer. If only we’d all known sooner that genetics are a myth!!
loves it | February 19, 2008 at 3:07 pm
yeah she hurts more than fat people, check this out
http://digitalfuntown.squarespace.com/dft-blog/2008/2/19/offbeat-oscars-mash-up.html
Mia | February 19, 2008 at 3:53 pm
@32, look up Prader-Willi syndrome, A main portion of the syndrome stems from the fact that the hormone which makes you feel “full” is basically non-functioning. They have an insatiable appetite, impaired impulse controls, and a drastically lowered metobolic rate. There is current research which shows that many people may be affected by hormone issues which are being seen in Prader-Willi.
What was that? You ask how I know, and why I care? Maybe because my 3 year old son has this syndrome and I know dozens of people with this syndrome.
Like I said. Do your research, and don’t judge people because you have lazy family members.
23apples | February 19, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Uh… I’m pretty sure that overweight people don’t usually support a company that willingly calls them fat. In no way does that help their self esteem… and knocking a bucket of chicken out of a fat person’s hands would be HELPING not HURTING!
Igottabemeeee | February 19, 2008 at 4:34 pm
As one of the millions of fat people in the U.S. (and apparently the only one willing to admit it) I feel hurt and damaged, and plan on filing a lawsuit against her as well. I was going to be skinny as soon as that tape was released, and now she has condemned me to a life of endless porkitude.
Sauron | February 19, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Fat people are protected by a thick layer of fat.How can they be hurt by a 250 grammes videotape?
Alex | February 19, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I’m with Elder Joe Simpson on this one. I mean, come on! First, the bitch gets blamed for Nick Lachey’s bent cock. Second, the Cowboys losing. Now, this?
I did tell ElderJoe to just keep her at home as another wife, but no, he let her loose. Something about “What Would Joseph Smith Do”, or some shit. I can’t really remember. Honestly, I was on a really bad trip and topped that off by snorting a line off of some undergarments or something. Penguins and schoolbuses were involved. It was bad. My grandmother hates me for it.
blingblingblang | February 19, 2008 at 6:08 pm
a work-out video for fat people that they can do sitting on their ass:
http://www.overlay.tv/overlay/235
in fact, jessica prolly made this, and then thought her fingers looked too fat, or danced better than her, and banned it.
Trover | February 19, 2008 at 6:24 pm
I hear she loves to take it in the pooper these days. She wouldn’t let Nick, but daddy convinced her it is the safest way for her career right now. She can still get it on with whoever she wants and not worry about bastard incest babies, or Romo-tards.
UNCLE NED | February 19, 2008 at 7:11 pm
I hate to say it, but Yoko looks great – Romo must agree with her, the poor sucker is smitten with this kitten, and who can really blame him?
# 32 | February 19, 2008 at 7:37 pm
HA HA HA I pissed off all the fatties…awesome. Go cry a river into your bowl of ice cream.
mememe – Playing basketball on your xbox is not going to make you less fat.
gotmilk? – Sour grapes er shall I say sour milk? Looks like I struck too close to home, you cow.
BunnyButt – You have a sister with down syndrome because your genes suck and retards run in your family. Sucks to be you ha ha
Mia – I don’t care about your diseased mistake of a retard son. God hates you and cursed your family i.e. not my problem :)
Ted from LA | February 19, 2008 at 8:43 pm
#48,
Shut up you cunt.
Fred | February 19, 2008 at 9:40 pm
I don’t understand her reasoning on this.She’ll be relying on infomercials and exercise videos for all her income.