Jessica Simpson has the weirdest posture ever

It’s like she’s trying to be a human Barbie.

That’s cuz Papa Simpson can’t get rock hard with slouchy boobie belly.

I think the Superficial is really reaching here. I do not see what is wrong with her posture in these photos. I mean, cmon, she looks really fucking hot in these photos!

Tom Cruise might even forget the cock for a moment if he saw Jessica looking like this.

I’d eat her with a spoon

Her skirt is so short I can tell what her fallopian tubes are doing.

Classy, Jess, very classy.

Why is this chick such a loser? Someone PLEEEEASE make her go away!! She looks like a Femmebot.

I’d gouge her eyes out with a spoon. Then push her down a flight of stairs and watch her try to cry.

I’d fuck her 8 ways from Sunday, even if I would have to paper-bag her head since she looks a little manyl lately. Must be all the testosterone she pumping into her body.
And by that, I mean all of Papa Joe’s cum she’s been swallowing.

TCLTC, in case anybody has forgotten.

Good thing the CSI guys aren’t there with the black light. Some of Mr. Simpson might show up.

Someone told her that the first sign of being a retard was being able to touch your elbows behind your back. She keeps on trying, just in case…

Despite the fact that she looks like a fucking trashy whore, she seems to be morphing into something of a mongoloid – too much plastic surgery…maybe her back is sore from laying on it so much during screen tests…

(No Jess, a mongoloid is not someone from Mongolia…)

#10 Tee Hee Thank you, its been a slow morning.

So since divorcing her hubby, she’s: a)clearly worked on her tan, b)gotten her highlights redone, c)gotten into miniskirts and d)… I was begining to forget why she was a celebrity. On the other hand, she is not knocked up with curlers in her hair.

Two words: Stepford Wife.

Or more accurately, Stepford Ex-Wife.

Lets see, she’s not a drug addict, not a whore, not an heiress, married a shmuck but at least one who had some capitol originally, um – I don’t get it. Is this sour grapes? I think she is erroneously dumped in with the rest of your regulars. I’d hit it, then be bored by it.

It’s about time Ken did her hair. Speaking of, he is suspiciously absent. I guess she just takes him slumming?

Between Brit and Jessica – Jessica won.

#15

oh brother…

I wonder when she bends her knees if it sounds like a barbie doll’s knees.

Can you say Chyna Doll?

How to spend 4.0 hours when bored?

Connect the moles on Jessica.

She looks like something that should be mounted on the front of a ship.

Her back must be killing. She’s sticking her chest out, sticking her butt out, and making her calves bow. The pressure of this unnatural stance is visible in the big vein popping out of her ankle in pic #4. Way to advertise, jess.

And I think she’s going for the “60′s Barbie”.

That is odd…
http://ultra8201.blogspot.com

shes doing that because her boobs are real and shes trying to keep them in place when really she should have worn a different dress or at least better support. Mystery solved.

http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/baby_blabber/the_baby_is_here_yall_20060606.php

I hate it when she tucks her chin down on her shoulder like that.

what’s going on with her leg in the first pic on the bottom? there’s an odd bump….

LOL@#10

She looks like one of those bendable gumby figures. I feel like trying to bend her leg all the way back.

Waterranger #5, read GoFugYourself much? Plagiarism is lame.

(“Fab legs, Aisha. And great shoes. But that weird pointilist nightmare of a dress is so short, I can tell what your fallopian tubes are doing.” -GFY, May 12, 2006)

Look at those rickety legs…Suddenly I’m becoming a Jessica fan. Pass the Chicken by the Sea, will ya ?

Is this at a promo for Dukes of Hazzard II? because if it is I’m totally amped. Or maybe it’s all the Vault soda I drank. It’s either one or the other.

Jessica, I promised to feed you meatless Buffalo wings if you’d let me do you doggystyle.

i actually think that she’s looking very good lately

She’s trying very hard, isn’t she?

she’s also making sure that her thighs don’t touch by sticking her ass out.

Oh I forgot to add…Happy 666 day! I saw the devil…or it might have been ‘lil Kim, I’m not sure. Is there a difference?

She’s standing stiff because she’s Jess Simpson, and just like she didn’t know Chicken of the Sea was tuna, she wasn’t aware ben-wa balls go up your pussy and not your ass.

#26 – Me too. I think she’s aiming for cutesy. She too fuckin’ old for cutesy.

@37, you have me choking with laughter…

She’s really very hot, with one exception… I’ve been saying this since I first saw her a few years ago… SHE NEEDS A NOSE JOB!… If she got that wicked camel’s hump taken out of the bridge of her nose she would be nearly perfect… Oh yeah…

@37 Remember the time when Jessica turned down an offer to meet Bush?
She was confused because she heard that she had to SHOW Bush,
instead of just meeting with him – that’s why she turned the offer down, you see…

#29

I noticed that one too.

#38

Hey you, what do you mean- too fucking old???

“So since divorcing her hubby, she’s: a)clearly worked on her tan, b)gotten her highlights redone, c)gotten into miniskirts and d)… I was begining to forget why she was a celebrity. On the other hand, she is not knocked up with curlers in her hair.”

Well said, Lord Absu. The tan is way too much, and standing like that is incredibly tacky- and bad for your back, but I believe that point is moot. At least she has proven that she really *is* a no talent ass clown.

(And yes, I stole that fair and square from Office Space, for all you worried about that sort of thing).

she’s a robot trying to eat her left shoulder

Step 4: Shove broomstick up your ass.

1) dress is ugly and too tight

2) it looks as though she’s had SOMETHING done to the twins

3) not only is she thrusting her chest out, but she’s trying to push her butt out too (or maybe the dress is actually shapped like that…like a tube that shapes her?)

4) from a profile, her stomach looks bigger than her boobs, thus making her boobs look small

5) looking at the last picture, her toes are coming out and over the edge of the shoe…tacky

Finally:
6) if you look carefully at the left boob, where the flower sticks out, you can see a hint of a nipple

What’s Tomkat up to these days?

kidding

Just a thought:

Maybe Lachey emitted “stupid” phenomerones and leaving him is helping
her regain her 10th grade mentality.

I still wouldn’t mind hiting that TUNA QUEEN with a rancid cunt…..

I wish she’d start dating O.J.