Jessica Simpson was spotted at the gym showing off her insane man calves. The rest of her looks pretty good, but damn. There are bodybuilders sitting at their computers right now weeping. Oh, not because of her calves or anything, but because I just showed them a picture of my abs. I also showed Leonardo da Vinci once and he cried out “Perfection!” before spitting on the Mona Lisa and declaring my body a true work of art.
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Robert | July 3, 2007 at 1:58 pm
She just gets better and better… if she were a man.
Marcelo | July 3, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Must be slow news day.. Calves!?
1st
Jimbo ∞ | July 3, 2007 at 2:00 pm
The good news is that you’ll never get a glimpse of those calves while she’s pounding you in the ass
JC | July 3, 2007 at 2:00 pm
shes such a man
wedgeone | July 3, 2007 at 2:03 pm
In an interview she said she works really hard on her calves, because they allow her to get airborne for those super-deep anal thrusts.
kitty | July 3, 2007 at 2:03 pm
hey look its a man
idiot | July 3, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Shes healthy and hot, you should stfu.
Clearly you have never exercised.
hollyj | July 3, 2007 at 2:05 pm
JIMBO thanks a lot- I just spewed CocaCola through my nose. and all over my LCD.
PS Carbonation burns.
Shinanigans | July 3, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Maui Wowie! She still looks bangin
Italian Stallion | July 3, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Maybe she’s planning on murdering John Mayer with a Beniot leg style headlock, because that would be worth the ticket price……….
Jimbo | July 3, 2007 at 2:07 pm
@8 Holly – I am glad you got a good laugh, but that was my troll. She is pretty funny sometimes.
Shinanigans | July 3, 2007 at 2:09 pm
idiot I agree she looks hot, but I have never excersized by standing on my tiptoes all day long
hollyj | July 3, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Oh OK. Damn. You mean I snorted my beverage for a complete stranger? I feel so tricked…so violated…
It’s been a good day!
LINZERS | July 3, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Ew Puke. I don’t understand how ANY guy would find this creature remotely attractive. Whenever a guy I am talking to says Jessica Simpson is hot and he wants to do her, I puke in my mouth. Does that happen to anyone else? And guys, please, if you want to Jessica Simpson, tell me why…enlighten me…I’m bored at work.
Jules | July 3, 2007 at 2:14 pm
aww poor jessica..first she leaves Nick and ends up with a loser while hes banging some other ok looking chick and getting paid to conceal sexx tapes and naked pics.. isnt karma a bitch sweetie.
hollyj | July 3, 2007 at 2:15 pm
That definition isn’t from the muscle being toned. It’s the indentions made by her ears.
AndresV | July 3, 2007 at 2:22 pm
I agree with #7, regardless of whether you think she is hot or not, these are normal calves for someone who exercises and stays in good shape…..
JD | July 3, 2007 at 2:22 pm
14.
Its cause she is hot, great breasts, nice long legs and nice hips. If I HAD to pick a flaw, which I dont really think it is, but some pics make her look like she has a strong jawline.
She is fuggin smoking though and really dumb and wealthy, how is that not hot?
http://images.google.ca/images?hl=en&q=jessica+simpson&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2
Brock Landers | July 3, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I’d have no problem if those calves were squeezing me pretty tightly.
bearpitt | July 3, 2007 at 2:27 pm
She really is a man, that big Jay Leno chin and monster calves and feet.
I would do her but there are much better women that I do know.
your mom | July 3, 2007 at 2:38 pm
@18, I found a flaw…that large ass mouth she sings, sorry, screams out of!
Marcelo | July 3, 2007 at 2:38 pm
@ LINZERS
Of course you don’t get it. you are a girl. Maybe if you were to spit out that puke instead of re-eating it you may be more attrative to men.
She’s hot, it’s cute when every guy who thinks can’t have her just act like “Sour grapes” and trash her. She’s hot, caves are strong to keep me from pulling out.
Karma | July 3, 2007 at 2:38 pm
I wouldn’t call these “normal” calves and I’m assuming genetics has a lot to do with it (I can’t build mine up not matter how hard I try). She’s looking healthy and is taking care of herself.
lex | July 3, 2007 at 2:41 pm
the girl is plain UGLY, never been hot, her face is mannish kinda like ali landry, expect her to look like Demi Moore in a couple of decades and then she will have a shot at Ashton K………………
Lowlands | July 3, 2007 at 2:41 pm
These calves of her seem to be fully grown bulls.Does she play soccer or something?
Gyna | July 3, 2007 at 2:43 pm
She’s bulking up for her date with Michelle Rodriguez. They have a bet over which one of them will end up wearing the dirty sanchez. Jessica’s got all the advantages by the tale of the tape (height, reach, weight) but Michelle’s a well known expert at using flatulence as a weapon, and Jessica’s retarded to begin with. My only hope is that whoever wins has the goddam common courtesy to give the other one a reach-around.
jaime | July 3, 2007 at 2:46 pm
she missed a couple spots shaving the back of her thigh. in any case, i’m not a hater–she’s gorg and i want amazing calves.
John M. | July 3, 2007 at 2:55 pm
I don’t know if it’s aggression or retardation, but she never lets you know when she’s about to cum in your face.
FRIST!!! | July 3, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Will the real Jimbo please stand up? We’re gonna have a problem here…
Oh, crap. I just noticed that I missed the last 4 posts!!! Lindsay needs shoes? Moss got fired? What the hell is going on here??!!??
veggi | July 3, 2007 at 2:58 pm
jesus fucking christ. what’s with all the sympathizers?
Sportsdvl | July 3, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Not hot, never has been. Big tits but that is the extent of her “hotness”. And her idiotic brain and lack of ANY talent overcomes those big tits so she is useless.
Dirty Disher | July 3, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Hmmm, looks like an average chick walking. What huge news.
Drowningfool | July 3, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Damn. I would kill for those calves. Of course, I’m a dude. I’m sure she would kill for my dignity, of which she has none left.
cowcat | July 3, 2007 at 3:04 pm
18–if you find “really dumb” girls attractive, I have a retarted cousin to introduce you to.
cowcat | July 3, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Sorry. I can’t spell.
cooter | July 3, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I have an uncle who owns a farm maybe we can get him to brand that heifer!
http://www.spamfreeforums.com/cootercleavage/
Jimbo ∞ | July 3, 2007 at 3:10 pm
She’s done so many squats and leg presses that her Steamers are perfect coils of tightly-packed stool no more than half an inch in diameter
no1justminda | July 3, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Monster calves? Those are some in-shape legs! My calves look the same from being a runner, and I’m pretty sure it’s not disgusting.
Joe | July 3, 2007 at 3:16 pm
She’s a dwarf – all dwarf’s have big looking calves – it’s also why she can go from cow to dukes of hazzard by losing 10 lbs.
LINZERS | July 3, 2007 at 3:17 pm
HAHAHA #34- FUNNY.
AND UM HEY #22. YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN. FIRST OF ALL, DID I SAY I DIDNT FIND ANY GIRLS ATTRACTIVE? NO. THERE ARE PLENTY OF BEAUTIFUL CELEBRITIES OUT THERE. SO GO SUCK A DICK. SECOND, DID I SAY I WASNT ATTRACTIVE? AND DOES IT EVEN FUCKING MATTER TO YOUR PATHETIC LOSER ASS? NO, BIG GUY IT DOESNT. IM SORRY..I’M BEING MEAN, YOU ARE PROBABLY THE WAY YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. JUST TRY BEING NICER OK?
Jimbo | July 3, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Hey FRIST – I am here.
LINZERS | July 3, 2007 at 3:19 pm
AND TO THE SCHMUCK WHO SAID SHE HAS LONG BEAUTIFUL LEGS, GET REAL PLEASE. SHE IS SHORT AND A LITTLE ON THE STUMPY SIDE. NO POSSIBILTY OF HAVING THE LGS YOU SPEAK OF. SHE HAS TO WORK OUT SO MUCH BECAUSE IF SHE DOESNT, HER GOD GIVEN PEAR SHAPED BODY WOULD REVEAL ITSELF…SHES NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT. I SAW IT WITH BRITNEY WHEN SHE LOOKED DECENT AND I SEE IT WITH BUBBALICIOUS JESSICA CHINSON TOO.
Jimbo | July 3, 2007 at 3:21 pm
You can tell which one is a troll by her infatuation with steamers.
eveee | July 3, 2007 at 3:22 pm
at least her legs are not full of cellulite and blue veins
LINZERS | July 3, 2007 at 3:27 pm
YEAH EVEEE. THAT’S A BONUS. YOURE ALWAYS LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? AT LEAST SHE TAPES HER PENIS TO HER LEG SO IT DOESNT POP OUT WHEN SHES THINKING OF NICKS TIGHT BUTT.
∞ | July 3, 2007 at 3:29 pm
linzers – it’s the button just to the left of the “A”. you really, really, really need to press it, now…
lalaland | July 3, 2007 at 3:30 pm
#40 whoa whoa whats with the yelling? so much hostility so much anger.
okay so those calves are a little much, but that just means she’s inshape,
#39 are you saying that at 5’3 she’s a dwarf? i’m hurt!
FRIST!!! | July 3, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Hey Jimbo – the ∞ just fell off your ass!
kristen | July 3, 2007 at 3:31 pm
how can anyone say that she is ugly? she might not be the most beautiful person on the face of the earth but Jessica Simpson is NOT ugly…jealousy must get tiring sometimes
LINZERS | July 3, 2007 at 3:32 pm
WHY? IS THERE SOME UNWRITTEN SUPERFICIAL CODE THAT BANS THE USE OF CAPS LOCK? OR DOES IT JUST BOTHER YOU, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, IF IT JUST BOTHERS YOU, THEN SHAME ON ME, DAMN ME STRAIGHT TO HELL REALLY.