Jessica Simpson was spotted leaving Nobu with John Mayer sporting some very impressive side boob. And I’ve concluded the only angle she doesn’t look completely awful from is either topless or almost topless. Or falling down the stairs because she forgot how to walk. She’s lucky she has a nice rack, otherwise instead of getting felt up by guys she’d be spending her Saturday nights trying to figure out why her microwave isn’t heating up her frozen dinners. Here’s a hint, Jessica, that’s your washing machine.
And to make this remotely newsworthy, Jessica Simpson has joined John Mayer on his tour bus in Florida. Whee.