Jessica Simpson has curly hair. STOP EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!

Somehow Jessica Simpson having curly hair has become the most pervasive news story of the morning, so here she is in LA last night showing off her new do. I guess I’m supposed to be titillated with excitement, but I’m mostly finding myself wondering if her breasts could suffocate a man. That’s right, I can be deep and philosophical, too. (Suck it, Deepak.)