IMAGES REMOVED
Jessica Simpson celebrated her 26th birthday in Cabo San Lucas on Monday with her parents and some close friends, including her hairstylist Ken Paves and former assistant CaCee Cobb. The celebration included Sangria and Mexican food, and apparently a photoshoot for Jessica featuring her embarrassed about her stomach and no actual photographer. The statement makes more sense once you’ve seen the rest of the pictures after the jump, featuring her posing for no particular reason and even getting her hair touched up.
I’m sorry…..I could never have sex with a
stupid person. I don’t care if they do look doable. I’ve never seen her naked so I really don’t know if she is worth a ride but I really need a girl with an IQ too.
it looks like her bathing suit top came untied. Ken Paves retied it for in one pic and that is why she is covering up with the table cloth. am i the only one who sees this?
She’s hot people c’mon.
great…she’s hot and has big cans,BUT SHE DOESN’T SUCK DICK…so what good is she????
@49: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you in two words:
Fucking Moron.
In case all of you haven’t noticed, the big sunglasses for women just happens to be in vogue right now so raggin’ on her for that is just plain idiotic. I agree I can’t stand the big sunglasses craze but we can’t blame Jessica for that. Anyways I was never big on her by that I mean I don’t think I have actually rubbed one out and thought of her. Who says she doesn’t suck dick? Thats a lie! I know cuz, well, uh, I just know!
I don’t know why there’s always this big debate about who’s hot and who’s ugly.
I know most of you are like me and would have sex with pretty much anything if it gave you a compliment and had appropriate genitalia.
jrzmommy’s idea of “high fashion” is Fashion Bug Plus. With sunglasses courtesy of Rite Aid.
I think she’s very pretty and the second picture is really cute, but I HATE that open-mouth, hat-grabbing, lying-on-her-back picture. It is stupid and stagily posed and looks slutty. Like a JC Penney catalog pose if all the models were tramps.
Hey, Shitface–it seems like your entire purpose for existing is to fuck with me….it kinda reminds me of when little boys pick on girls because they really like them…except they’re sweet little boys and you’re an ignorant fucking douchebag with no life and and no friends, except for the ones you’ve made up in your fucked-up, twisted mind.
I’d so hit that…just to get a piece of her i’d do a 3-way with joe simpson!!
I gotta admit, she looks hot in all those pics.
59–see 49. Ha ha!! It’s true–it’s totally obnoxious.
Obviously pregnant, or forgot to get a bikini wax.
@63: HEY EVERYBODY!!!!! LOOK AT MY COMMENT ABOVE!!!!! I SAID SOMETHING JUST LIKE IT!!!!! LOVE ME!!!!! I CAN HIT REFRESH FASTER THAN ANYONE!!!!! AND POST MORE THAN ANYONE!!!!! BECAUSE I’M THE FUCKING DOUCHEBAG WITH NO LIFE!!!! YIPEE!!!!
She just keeps getting hotter and hotter.
She looks ok, but god!!! if i could just set that stupid-ass floppy cowboy hat on fire!! I swear that is the most redneck-slut accessory on the planet. Where is her budweiser and chipped toenail polish?
Her boobs don’t seem to look like an exploded can of biscuits either, so she’s doin’ ok.
CURSE YOU, TYPEKEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!
Ahem. Anyways, about the huge sunglasses, yes, big sunglasses are in, I have some cute ones myself, but they’re still about half the size of those. MODERATION. Those windshields are bigger than my snowboarding goggles. No joke.
NEW TOPIC!!
I think she needs to start putting ProActive on her back. That guy in the 2nd to the last picture looks like he’s popping a winner.
“Jessica Simpsons Birthday Bukkake Party”
What a fargin’ hillbilly.
Italion Stallion lives for bukkake, tastes great, low carbs.
67 – Every redneck slut should have a floppy cowboy hat. I have 7, one for every can of PBR I need to drink before I’m spread-eagle on the bar singing Hank Williams and setting off bottle rockets from my snatch.
Who the fuck is ItaliOn Stallion, if your gonna try to insult me atleast spell my fucking name right. ItaliAn Stallion motherfucker!!!!!!!!
“…i’m so looonesome i could cry…”
Did I read that right, osh is spread eagle, yipeee I’ve got the go ahead to land my Boeing down her landingstrip
bad horsey, too much potty mouth, need to paddle your rump.
from the look of it, the hairdresser may be forcing some unwanted spit shine
only if your a girl may you paddle the horsey.
@80 Does a hermaphrodite count? That’s Megan’s burning question. And the burning comes from the combo hemorrhoids/prolasped rectum.
77 – Let me sweep away these empty beer cans and burned firecrackers real quick… Okay, all clear! Burn ‘em and turn ‘em, Mav!
I have two pertly bumps and a non furry mound.
Miss Jane, would you kindly not discuss my misfortunate rectum in front of company?
Sorry, sweetie.
So you don’t mind us chatting about your man/woman combo? I only want to talk about what’s comfortable for you.
ohhhh yeah, osh i’ve got my nuts down and the head up, may need some lubricant on the runway, looks dry and I’m comin in hard
Apparently Ken Paves is her only friend. If I’m not mistaken, he’s on her new album cover.
#56
Just because something is in style does not make it any less fugly. To wear something that is fugly or looks like crap on you just because it’s in style is stupid, not an excuse.
Didn’t we learn ANYTHING from the eighties?
Her father masterbates to pic number three daily. It’s gotten so bad that her mother had to run out and buy new dishtowels.
She was on her period that day and felt and looked a little bloated that’s all. She will forever be bangable in my eyes…
I wood fuck her wit out a condum just like her sister and anyone else that wants to fuck Justin Igger.
bikini bottom says: please fill me innnnn, there is nothing to hold me up im sagginnnn!!
Beyonce’s bikini bottom says: help!!! ,im extended to the maximum and all i see is big juicy booty all day !! its unbearable !!
She looks better every day.
If she’s going to cover up her tits, there’s absolutely no reason for her to go out in public.
#94 Courtney
That is the first time I’ve laughed out loud at something on here in a while. Thanks!
Sweet.
Why be a virgin when you can be a slutty divorcee? Pic 4 is a great example of how she’s going to buy her way into the “gates of heaven”
#21, Hey H8ter – I am a few days late and the pictures are gone. So if I say that you’re a pussy is that bad? because I can’t comment on anything else other than the fact that you’re a fag.
That was very crummy and no class to dump her on the eve of her birthday! She is much better of without jerks like him. Try to learn from this and don’t make all the mistakes I did,