Jessica Simpson goes to Congress

March 9th, 2006 // 49 Comments

jessica-simpson-congress.jpgJessica Simpson will be following in Angelina Jolie’s footsteps later this month, when she lobbies members of Congress on behalf of a children’s charity. Simpson will head to Washington, DC to speak with lawmakers about Operation Smile, an organization that provides surgery for children with deformed faces. A source claims:

“She’s in the phase of her life now where she wants to use her celebrity for good.”

I’m not sure Jessica really understands what she has signed herself up for. She probably only heard the name, Operation Smile, and then just signed up. In her mind it’s no different than operation rainbow, operation unicorn, or operation chocolate milk land.

Source

superficial

  1. LickyLicky

    FIRST!

  2. Binky

    Well she’s already signed for “Operation Pizza”. Maybe this will turn out less cheesy.

  3. Dude – Milk Land – Funny As Hell!

  4. Tania

    Good to hear that she’s out of her whoring-around-with-anything-that-has-a-penis phase.

  5. tits_on_snack

    People who fight for “first post” on this site are awesome.

    Anyway.
    Jessica used to have a really bad skin problem and promoted the use of some skin cream because it helped her skin, I saw some infomercial she did with pictures of her nasty scarred face prior to the treatment, and she talked about having to have her music videos digitally re-touched after filming, to fix her face problem. So, actually, I don’t think she’s too fish-out-of-water in this situation.

  6. davina85

    Ok let

  7. miadm2002

    Jessica is a smart moron!

  8. miadm2002

    Jessica is a smart moron.

  9. “She’s in the phase of her life now where she wants to use her celebrity for good” — is that a tacit confession that, previously, she had been using her celebrity for evil?

  10. It was later claimed that Jessica Simpson had used Acutane but when the company that sells Pro-Active paid her a lot of money she claimed that that is what cured her horrible moon crater acne.

    I think she is just helping this charity so she can sneak in and read all the neat books with lots of big pictures.

  11. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Wouldn’t it be great if all the deformed children came out looking like her? Then we could send them all to an island, and call it Smile Island. We would also need to send them large shipments of Proactive.

  12. yeah, My point exactly. How has she been using her celebrity for EVIL before?

    I love Newlyweds. Its a great show. I was fooled.

  13. tits_on_snack

    HA! I did not know about that acutane thing.

  14. yeah, My point exactly. How has she been using her celebrity for EVIL before?

    I love Newlyweds. Its a great show. I was fooled.

  15. sugarbuzz

    fuck man, i wish i got first dibs on the comment page. That would be like a dream come true. Like as if Jessica fell into a vat of acid and little evil porno fish came over and hog tied her and gang-banged her. That’s what i dream of…

  16. Morgan Fairchild once testified to Congress about some natl historical site shit, saying “As a little girl, I dreamed of becoming an archeologist. That didn’t happen BUT…”

  17. CheekyChops

    Good Lord, when will someone in her close inner circle tell her she’s dumb and she’d only be making a huge arse of herself by doing this?

  18. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    English people are cute. They say ‘arse’ instead of ‘ass’. Me, personally, I like ‘azz’.

  19. bone_daddio

    Operation: Smile is actually a shortened version of the actual name of the visit….Operation: Get on your knees Jessica and make a Congressman smile

  20. CCClub

    Actually, “Smile” is the name of a movie about that charity. It’s pretty horrible so don’t bother looking for it. It just makes me think that retard queen here was touched by the poor acting and bad special effects make-up from the movie and decided to make a difference herself. Whatever, if she ends up actually helping some kids, good for her. We all know she’s still a retard.

  21. tits_on_snack

    “Arse” is not cute. “Arse” just makes me think of welfare moms living in low-rental housing and wearing sweatpants, running babysitting operations out of their ghetto apartments and threatening the kids into behaving themselves by shrieking “I’ll tan yer arse!” with a Virginia Slim hanging out the side of their mouth.
    Arse. So not cute.

  22. ONMYQ

    Sounds like Jessica has watched Legally Blonde 2 one too many times…ditzy blonde goes to DC and takes over Capital Hill.

  23. downshine

    tits_on_snack

    arse is ass in Australian, British and Irish speak so why you’re thinking about welfare moms i dont know…

  24. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Example: “If you put a gag in her mouth and a bag over her head, Jessica Simpson could be a nice piece of arse.”
    Adorable.

  25. xaputa

    This is soooo awesome!
    It means she’s gonna speak more about stuff because she has stuff to talk about. Like tits_on_snack just did about arses. Awesome!

  26. This brings to mind that movie with Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams playing two blonde bimbos who go to Washington. What was the name?

    Oh yeah: Dick.

  27. niquehappy.com

    “..an organization that provides surgery for children with deformed faces.”

    She needs to work on hers first.

  28. Dylan

    This is a legitimate charity that Jessica and Nick Lachey have been involved with for some time.

  29. xaputa

    #27: Why?

    She might be a moron and look too tanned and too blonde, but she has a pleasent normal (or even above normal) face. Are you saying she gets help from plastic surgery so she can look like Liberace? That’s cunstructive.

  30. #23. Britain, Australia and New Zealand are HUGE welfare states, In Australia you used to be able to immigrate, go on welfare “The dole” and then bring over your entire family and get them on welfare too. They just changed that rule a few years ago, which really pisses Tara Reid off because trust me, the girl is going to need some welfare in a few years.

  31. A2Bcom

    Does she know where congress is? LOL Once she finds it though I’m sure she’ll do a lot of good. Hell if I saw that begging for money, I’d be flippin out the wallet too!

  32. sexydarin

    arse just remind me of people who pronounce 1) Washington as Warshington or 2)I’m going to warsh the clothes.

  33. lylah785

    ok.. jessica going to congress??.. that just sounds stupid.. hmm mcuh like her.

  34. hafaball

    Any tanner and she will look Ethiopian. But I wonder if she’ll end up adopting 30 kids too…if there weren’t enough immigrants all ready, soon every celeb is goona have one..

  35. gogoboots

    Hopefully she won’t tan the poor children to death, give em’ lip implants and bleach their hair blonde. She must have been like, “oh no, they’re deformed, how could God do that…!” This is too stupid to be believed and I must refrain from all the dumb blonde jokes now…

  36. VinSlayer

    Operation smile: Code name keep from paying Nick Lachey alimony – has officially begun!

  37. Jacq

    All this time I KNEW she had been using her celebrity for evil! I’m glad she’s come to the other side.

  38. She needs to bring Ashlee with her to show them the real reason she is doing the charity in benfit for Ashlee. Who needs major work done to her face…lol

  39. jager2ways

    She may be dumb as a stump but if their were a Milk Land, she’d be the President.

  40. senin

    Wouldn’t the world be better served by Jess promising not to procreate?

  41. NaughtyBits74

    “She’s in the phase of her life now where she wants to use her celebrity for good.”
    And not for evil? How “noble” of her. She bores me and so does Congress. Maybe that’s where she belongs.

  42. Is it just me or does he look like a really hot 40 year old?

  43. newmamaonceagain

    Look at her neck! Is she asthmatic? She seems to be grasping for air!

  44. LaydeeBug

    Don’t forget the Scottish (arse reference).

    JS is such a sphincter. She’ll make a speech and use words like “nukular” and call it the Oval Orifice, and say what a great job Georgie Bush is doing while swallowin a load of DICK Cheney’s jizz.

  45. ir0ny!

    looks like “Tan Barbie” is going to Washington!

  46. I’m glad to see Jessica involved in such a worthy charity/organization. With so many of the other young actresses and singers cat fighting, name calling, and giving in to temper tantrums, it’s good to see the occasional one get off the freakin’ playground and go to CLASS.

  47. I’m always happy to see famous or rich people helping the needing. It’s amazing what a simple appearence can do for a cause. Now Jessica is helping the kids with a deformed face get a life back. If she can help just one kid, she’s done a great job!

  48. I’m always happy to see famous or rich people helping the needing. It’s amazing what a simple appearence can do for a cause. Now Jessica is helping the kids with a deformed face get a life back. If she can help just one kid, she’s done a great job!

  49. I’m always happy to see famous or rich people helping the needing. It’s amazing what a simple appearence can do for a cause. Now Jessica is helping the kids with a deformed face get a life back. If she can help just one kid, she’s done a great job!

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